CHAPTER 4
USING COMMUNICATION PRINCIPLES TO
BUILD RELATIONSHIPS
Outline of Chapter
I. Building Relationships through Two-Way Communication
A. The Communication Process
B. Communication Breakdowns
II. Sending Verbal Messages Effectively
A. Choice of Words
B. Voice Characteristics
C. Stories
D. Keep Open Lines of Communication
III. Active Listening
A. Repeating Information
B. Restating or Rephrasing Information
C. Clarifying Information
D. Summarizing the Conversation
E. Tolerating Silences
F. Concentrating on the Ideas Being Communicated
IV. Reading Nonverbal Messages From Customers
A. Body Angle
B. Face
C. Arms
D. Hands
E. Legs
F. Body Language Patterns
V. Sending Messages with Nonverbal Communications
A. Using Body Language
1. Facial Muscles
2. Eye Contact
3. Hand Movements and Hand Shaking
4. Posture and Body Movements
B. The Role of Space and Physical Contact
C. Appearance
1. Principle 1: Consider the Geography
2. Principle 2: Consider Your Customers
3. Principle 3: Consider Your Corporate Culture
4. Principle 4: Consider Your Aspirations
5. Principle 5: Consider Your Own Personal Style
VI. Communicating via Technology
A. Telephone and Voice Mail
B. Text Messages and Email
C. Social Networking
VII. Adjusting for Cultural Differences
VIII. Selling Yourself
IX. Summary
Teaching Suggestions
An alternative would be to use the PowerPoint slides provided with the text.
1. Begin the discussion of the communication process. Note that between the encoding and
decoding of a message there is always some kind of noise (more or less). Even in a quiet room,
for example, ambient temperature, uncomfortable clothing, or even a headache, are “noise” in the
communication process. Now, ask students to describe classes in which they are very attentive to
the instructor and involved in the class and classes in which their mind wanders and they lose
interest. Typically, the “involving class” includes two-way communications-instructors ask
questions and use case discussions which allow students to contribute to the discussion.
Note that we have portrayed the sender as encoding the message and the receiver as decoding the
message. Emphasize that there is opportunity for error at both ends.
Ask students to describe a recent situation in which they had a miscommunication with someone.
When did this miscommunication occur? Ask them to describe the nature or reason for the
miscommunication. This is very important because often students do not realize what goes
wrong, therefore, they have no way of correcting themselves.
Now ask students to describe people whom they think are very effective communicators. Ask
them to tell you what is it that makes them effective?
2. Next, you may want to move into a discussion of the five modes of communication (see Exhibit
4.7 in the text). Especially note the active, conscious behaviors for the non-verbal channel with
face-to-face communication. Students may not be as sophisticated in reading (as a receiver) and
especially using (as a sender) non-verbal messages.
3. Before we talk more about non-verbal communication, we want to make some comments about
verbal communication and especially the effective use of words. Give students examples of
concrete rather than abstract words, for example, instead of saying “We ship
orders quickly,” say “We ship within 24 hours of receiving your order.” Also give them examples
of similes and metaphors. Next, have the students give you some similes and/or metaphors about
a recent shopping experience. Or you could have them paint a word picture or tell a meaningful
story about the last time they were trying to convince someone to do something. Finally, you will
want to give your students a couple of examples of how to tailor their words to a customer. You
may want to try a couple of role plays here. It could be fun and it is a very effective way of
showing them how adaptive they must be.
4. These role plays make for an easy transition into the elements of voice characteristics. Discuss
these different traits and have students illustrate these different characteristics. Ask students if
there are people with voice characteristics they find unattractive. Have them tell you what these
characteristics are.
5. Now you will want to review the guidelines for better listening. Then you can encourage
discussion of this very important skill by asking students to describe some situations in which
they listened actively to other people. Next ask them why they listened actively. You might also
6. Now move into the non-verbal receiving mode of communication-reading body language.
Review the different channels for body language and positive and negative nonverbal cues. If
class at this point.
7. Next talk about the last mode of communication-sending non-verbal messages. This mode of
communication is probably the least used on a conscious level. Unconsciously, we send and
receive non-verbal messages all the time. Sometimes, however, the verbal messages and the non-
verbal messages conflict. This adds noise to the communication process so we should learn how
to use our body language to be more effective communicators. Here again role plays for your
students are useful. Ask your students to communicate a few messages non-verbally.
8. Within the context of sending non-verbal cues, some of your students who are sending messages
should be moving closer to or away from those students who are receivers. Review the distance
zones comfortable for Americans. You can also discuss the issue of dress and appearance and use
9. At this point, you might start a discussion about the newer technologically-based methods that
salespeople use to communicate with customers – email, voice mail, text messages, and social
media. Ask students how they think this will change the effectiveness of communications? What
benefits are salespeople going to get out of these new methods? What are the disadvantages of
using these new methods for salespeople?
10. This discussion is a nice lead-in to the next discussion on adjusting for cultural differences. Talk
about how to use language appropriately and the differences in other cultures especially in how
they consider time in general and time in business situations.
Suggested answers to Ethics Problems
1. Assume you just told a story to help make a point in your sales presentation. The prospect
laughs, and says, “Say, I’ve got one that can top that! . . .” the prospect then proceeds to
tell you a rather raunchy story that is not only sexist but also racist. How should you
react?
It is not uncommon for salespeople to be in this type of a situation. Student answers will
vary. While it is a natural reaction to want to go along with someone’s humor for whom
2. Assume you are making your first call on a prospect and reach out to shake his hand. The
prospect shakes your hand, but then continues to hold it. After a second you get the uneasy
feeling that the prospect is physically attracted to you, although you have done nothing to
encourage this. You are in an office alone with the buyer. What should you do?
Observe other nonverbal cues provided by the buyer. Maybe it means nothing at all, especially if
the person is from a different culture. If you suspect that s/he is getting more of a “romantic”
interest in you, there are several things you can do. For example, you can use less eye contact
Suggested Answers to Questions and Problems
1. As a student in a college classroom, there can be many distractions that impact your
listening ability.
a. List three things that distract your listening as a student.
b. What can you do to reduce each of these distractions?
Student answers will vary. Some possible answers include: students nearby texting their
friends, cruising the web with their laptops, nearby students with open laptops and
2. Have two friends score you using the listening test (Exhibit 4.4) found in this chapter.
A. Compare your friend’s score with the one you gave yourself.
B. Did your two friends score you the same way? Discuss any
differences.
3. Make a chart with three columns: Items, What I Want This Item to Communicate to
Others, and What Others Will Think My Item Is Communicating. In the first column list
the following: my hairstyle, the clothing I’m wearing today, and any jewelry or body
accents (like earrings or tattoos). In the second column describe the message you want to
communicate with each item. Have someone else complete the third column, describing
what the items communicate to him or her. Discuss the differences between what you
hope the items communicate versus what someone else thinks the items are
communicating.
4. Develop a word picture that helps explain the merits of buying an LED television,
assuming the person has never owned an LED appliance.
Student answers will vary. The word picture should clearly paint a picture of what it
would be like without an LED television, then paint a picture of what it would like
watching TV with an LED TV. It could be structured something like this:
Now, how would that be different if you owned an LED TV?
You’re ready to watch the Superbowl and have all of your best friends over for a party.
As you sit down to watch, one of your friends says, “Say, cool! Is that one of those new
5. What do the following body language cues indicate?
a. Staring at a wall while someone else is talking.
b. Fidgeting and moving around in the seat a lot.
c. Leaning forward, smiling broadly.
d. Face that is reddening, with tightness in the mouth, jaw, and neck.
6. Word choice is important. Some words, by themselves, may be perceived negatively.
Come up with a better word choice that could be more positive for each of the following
words: cheaper, you guys, that’s cool, we’re the best.
7. In Building Partnerships 4.1 the author stated that it is important to avoid jargon. Jargon
can be defined as special words that are used often by a particular group of people but
that are usually hard, if not impossible, for others to understand. Why should a
salesperson not use jargon? Wouldn’t that make you look smart and informed as a
salesperson?
The goal in communicating is to actually communicate the message, not to look smart. If
8. Randomly select five e-mail messages you received today. Evaluate them on the basis of
the suggestions offered in this chapter for the proper use of e-mail.
Student answers will vary. Students will likely provide lots of ways in which the emails
don’t follow the guidelines. For example, bad news is often shared via email, there is no
9. Assume you sell tickets for a nearby symphony orchestra and you wish
to use Twitter to build relationships with potential season ticket
holders. Create two tweets that you would post to accomplish this
objective.
Suggested Answers to Case Problems
Case 4-1: Lynch Landscaping
Questions
1. Evaluate the exchange.
Johan did a very poor job. Here are a few things that students might discuss:
Offering a handshake without seeing if the buyer wants one
2. What would you do differently if you were Johan?
Johan needs to read nonverbals better. He needs to use humor appropriately and avoid
Case 4-2: Channel 6
Questions
1. Given what you know about best practices, evaluate the appropriateness of the activities
listed.
1. He sent e-mails to every prospect (approximately 720) in the list supplied by his company,
pasted the e-mail addresses using the “cc” option. His opening line was “You’ve never met me
before, so I wanted to introduce myself to you.”
option (because using the cc option, everyone will be able to see everyone else’s email address).
2. He used his personal Facebook page, which he always keep updated while in college to tell
of his loves and pursuits of girls, and tried to connect with as many of his prospects as he could
discover using the “search for friends” option of Facebook. To help make his page more
appropriate for his prospects, he took pictures of himself outside the TV’s office building,
pointing at the large CBS sign. His grin was a mile wide.
3. He got LinkedIn to as many prospects as he could. He also started posting articles on his
LinkedIn that he thought might be useful to his prospects in running their own businesses. His
LinkedIn profile remained pretty sparse because he never did see much use in filling out things
like his work experience, current job, and interests.
4. He had to inform one customer that the advertisement that was supposed to run on NFL
Sunday Night Football was being pulled, due to CBS taking that spot to run a promotion for a
new series. Chase used e-mail to let the customer know.
5. He sent out the following tweet using his personal Twitter account: “Looking to do some TV
advertising in the region? I’ve got some great rates! Call me at xxx or e-mail me at xxx right
away! Chase”
6. He used his Facebook page to link friends to his Instagram photos and videos, and made
sure that on his Instagram page he put photos and videos of some of the ads that were broadcast
by his station. The purpose was to hopefully generate interest in advertising by prospects.
7. Since he had the personal cell phone number of one of the customers that he was given in
his new role, he decided to just send a text that read: “How’s it going today, George? I’m your
new salesperson at the station. Let’s have lunch.”
8. One of the customers he was given to service at the station had asked for a quote for two
30-second ads on Friday night around 8:00. Chase, using e-mail, wrote this: “Friday night is
busy and crowded. Will put together a quote ASAP, but FYI, it’s going to take a bit to get the
motor going.”
2. How can a salesperson keep updated with what the norms are for the
various social media and technology tools?