Instructor’s Manual and Test Bank for Essentials of Human Communication, Eighth Edition
Unit Planner
CHAPTER 6: INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION AND
CONVERSATIO
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CONCEPTS OF THIS CHAPTER
· the principles of conversation
· everyday conversation
KNOWLEDGE OBJECTIVES
After completing this chapter, students should be able to:
· define interpersonal communication
· open, maintain, and close conversations more effectively
· engage in more satisfying conversations
·
use a variety of techniques (e.g., disclaiming, excusing, apologizing, complimenting) to make
conversations more effective
SKILLS OBJECTIVES
After completing this chapter, students should:
· open, maintain, and close conversations more effectively
· engage in more satisfying conversations
· use a variety of techniques to make conversations more effective
INSTRUCTIONAL OUTLINE
I. Introductory Material
·
Interpersonal Communication
is communication that occurs between two persons who have a
relationship and who are thus influenced by each other’s communication messages. This
includes almost any interaction between two people as soon as a message is sent and
received.
·
Interpersonal communication exists on a continuum from relatively impersonal to highly
personal.
•
The more impersonal the interaction, the more likely the communicators will respond to each
other according to social roles (e.g., server and customer); the more personal the interaction,
the more likely the communicators will respond to each other as unique individual (e.g.,
father and son).
•
The more impersonal the interaction, the more likely the interaction will be governed by rules
of society; the more personal the interaction, the more likely the interactions will be governed by
personally established rules.
•
The more impersonal the interaction, the less likely the interaction will be emotionally laden
or include self-disclosure.
II. The Principles of Conversation
· The Principle of Process: Conversation Is a Developmental Process
•
Opening
– Usually some type of greeting, either verbal or nonverbal; it opens up the
channels of communication and establishes a connection. If omitted, you may feel
uncomfortable or thrown off guard.
•
Feedforward –
Gives the other person the general focus of the conversation, or the
overall tone of the conversation. Omitting feedforward or having an unusually long
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Instructor’s Manual and Test Bank for Essentials of Human Communication, Eighth Edition
feedforward can make the conversation awkward.
•
Business
– The substance and focus of the conversation; longest part of the interaction;
directed toward achieving some goal (to learn, to relate, to influence, to play, to help).
Brief speaking turns yield more satisfying conversations during this stage.
•
Feedback
– The reverse of the second stage; reflecting back on the conversation.
•
Closing
– The goodbye; signals the end of accessibility; may signal some degree of
supportiveness; may summarize the interaction.
·
The Principle of Turn-Taking
– Speakers and listeners exchange cues for
conversational turns
that enable them to metacommunicate (communicate about the communication in which they are
engaged); effective metacommunication in the U.S. and many Western cultures includes the
following:
•
Speaker cues –
to ensure communication efficiency and increase likeability, speakers may
use:
–
Turn-Maintaining Cues
– used to indicate desire to continue in the role of speaker
Audibly inhaling breath (to show speaker has more to say)
Continuing a gesture or series of gestures (to show incomplete thought)
Avoiding eye contact to indicate that the speaker does not desire to yield the floor
Sustaining intonation pattern (i.e., not engaging in “up–talk”)
Vocalizing pauses
– Turn-Yielding Cues – used to indicate desire to accept listener role
Adding a tag question to a statement (e.g., “Okay?” or “Right?”)
Dropping intonation or pausing at length
Making eye contact with listener
Asking a direct question
Nodding in the direction of a listener
•
Listener cues
– to regulate a conversation, a listener may use
– Turn-Requesting Cues
Directly stating a desire to speak (e.g., “I have something to say”)
Use of paralanguage (e.g., “er” or “hmm”)
Facial cues (e.g., lifting eyebrows, opening mouth)
– Turn-Denying Cues – used to indicate reluctance to take speaker role
Intoning a direct refusal (e.g., “I don’t know” or “I have nothing to say”)
Avoiding eye contact with person wishing to yield floor
Engaging in behavior incompatible with speaking (e.g., coughing)
–
Back-Channeling Cues
and Interruptions
– used to communicate information back to
the speaker without assuming speaker role
Indicating degree of agreement or disagreement through smiles, frowns, gestures, or
vocalizations
Indicating involvement or boredom through posture, body orientation or eye contact
Regulating speaker’s rate of speech through verbal (e.g., “You need to slow down”)
and nonverbal (e.g., gesturing speaker to speed up) pacing cues
Asking for clarification either through verbal interjection (e.g., “Who?”) or nonverbal
cues (e.g., a puzzled look)
· The Principle of Dialogue – dialogue of more than simple conversation
•
In
dialogic communication
each person is both speaker and listener; communicators exhibit
deep concern for each other and the relationship between the two, striving for mutual
understanding and empathy. Dialogic communicators:
–
Respect others enough to allow them to make their own decisions without resorting to
coercion and threats.
– Avoid negative criticism and personal judgments.
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Instructor’s Manual and Test Bank for Essentials of Human Communication, Eighth Edition
– Practice positive criticism.
– Avoid dysfunctional communication patterns.
– Keep channels of communication open.
– Let speakers know they are listening.
– Ask others for their points of views and perspectives
•
In
monologic communication
no genuine interaction exists; one speaks without real concern
for the other person’s feeling or attitudes and focuses only on personal goals. Monologic
communicators:
– Engage in negative criticism and judgments.
– Use manipulative and dysfunctional communication patterns.
– Offer few if any listening cues.
– Rarely ask for others’ opinions or perspectives.
– Ask listeners for ego-building feedback.
·
The Principle of Immediacy
– the joining of the speaker and listener; the creation of a sense of
closeness, mutual interest, attraction, and attention. To communicate with immediacy:
– Self-disclose; share something significant.
– Refer to the other person’s good qualities.
– Express your positive views of the other person.
– Talk about commonalities.
– Give feedback cues.
– Express psychological closeness and openness.
– Maintain appropriate eye contact.
– Smile and express interest.
– Focus on the other person’s remarks.
·
The Principle of Flexibility
– Effective conversationalists need to be flexible.
– Analyze the specific conversational situation.
– Mindfully consider your available choices.
– Estimate the potential advantages and disadvantages.
– Competently communicate your choice.
·
The Principle of Politeness: Conversation is (Usually) Polite
– Conversations are expected (in
most cases) to follow the principle of politeness. There are six maxims of politeness:
•
The maxim of tact: do not impose on others or challenge their right to act as they wish.
•
The maxim of generosity: help confirm the other person’s self-importance.
•
The maxim of approbation: praise or compliment the other person.
•
The maxim of modesty: minimize praise or compliments you receive.
•
The maxim of agreement: seek out areas of agreement with the other person.
•
The maxim of sympathy: express understanding, empathy, supportiveness, and the like for
the other person.
III.
Everyday Conversations –
making small talk, introducing other people or ourselves, excusing
and apologizing, complimenting, and offering advice.
•
Small Talk –
can occur in person or on social media, usually used to ease into “big talk.”
Some relationships revolve solely around small talk.
–
The Topics and Contexts of Small Talk
o
Noncontroversial
o
Short in duration
o
“In–flight intimacy”
–
Guidelines for Effective Small Talk
o
Be positive.
o
Be sensitive to leavetaking cues.
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Instructor’s Manual and Test Bank for Essentials of Human Communication, Eighth Edition
o
Stress similarities rather than differences.
o
Answer questions with enough elaboration to give the other person information to
interact with you.
o
Avoid monologuing.
o
Remember that you will be associated with the topics that you frequently select to
talk about.
•
Apologies
– Expressions of regret or sorrow for having done what you did or for what
happened. An effective apology should be crafted for the specific situation.
o
Admit wrongdoing.
o
Be apologetic.
o
Be specific.
o
Empathize.
o
Give assurances that this will not happen again.
o
Avoid excuses.
o
Choose the appropriate channel.
•
Compliments
— messages of praise, flattery, or congratulations
– Unqualified compliments are completely positive
– Qualified compliments is not entirely positive.
o
Be real and honest.
o
Compliment in moderation.
o
Be totally complimentary and avoid qualifying compliments.
o
Be specific.
o
Be personal in your own feelings.
o
QUESTIONS FOR DISCUSSION
1. Briefly identify and explain the some of the benefits of small talk.
2.
What is the difference between monologic and dialogic communication? Relate a situation when
you or someone you know has engaged in monologue. How did this affect the relationship
between the parties involved?
3. What are the advantages of using metacommunication?
4.
What are the basic turn-taking cues of speakers and listener? Give an example of each.
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5.
Discuss some ways that you can create immediacy in your personal conversations. Give some
specific examples of what you can do and explain why creating immediacy is important in
presence, and being culturally sensitive.
ACTIVITIES FOR SKILL DEVELOPMENT
6.1 Giving and Responding to Compliments
Guidelines:
Ask students to choose a partner and have them take turns complimenting and responding.
As
time allows, ask for volunteers to demonstrate for the class. (Best for a class-opening activity to
launch
into the discussion.)
6.2 Formulating Apologies
Guidelines:
[from Skill Development Experience, text p. 133]
Give students time to consider individually
an appropriate apology for each of the scenarios in the text. This individual work could be assigned as
out–of-class work. You may wish to include any or all of the additional scenarios indicated below. Once
students have individually generated apologies for each scenario, have them compare their answers in
groups of five or six. Have each group generate an apology using elements of each individual’s work.
Ask for volunteers to role-play each scenario and lead a discussion on the appropriateness of each
apology. After this, you could also lead the class in a more general discussion of apologies, asking
questions such as, “Are there certain situations when apologies would be inappropriate?” “What effects
does repeated apology-making have on a romantic relationship?” and “Do you have stereotypes of people
who consistently make apologies for just about everything they do? How does this affect your
communication with them?”
Additional Scenarios for Formulating Apologies
·
You inadvertently e-mail a crude joke meant only for certain friends to everyone you work with.
Your colleagues at work confront you with your mistake.
·
After a colleague’s presentation, you mindlessly tell a fellow co-worker that you thought the
presentation was awful and then start to criticize this colleague in unfair ways that go beyond the
presentation, such as her lousy taste in clothes, the stupid jokes she’s always telling, and her
willingness to do anything to please her superiors. Your criticisms get back to your colleague and she
confronts you with your accusations.
·
Your father calls to ask you how school is going. You tell him you are doing well in all your
classes. At midterm he gets a report indicating you are failing biology. He confronts you with
this news.
·
A classmate asks you for notes from a class he missed. You tell him you didn’t take any notes
that day. Later he finds out you did take notes and shared them with another classmate. He asks
you
why you wouldn’t share your notes with him.
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6.3 Let’s Apply the Concepts
Description:
Either alone or in groups, students should consider their responses to one or more of the
following scenarios. Relate their responses to concepts indicated in the brackets.
·
At an office party, you receive news that one of your colleagues has just died. You need to tell
about 30 other partygoers and wonder what you’ll say in preparing them for and then actually
telling them the bad news. What do you say? To whom? Through what channel? [Feedforward]
·
A
student in one of your classes has asked you for a date for the last three weekends. You don’t
want to go, so each time you made an excuse. But, you realize that this can’t go on and you want
to end these embarrassing requests and refusals. What do you say? Through what channel?
6.4 Giving Compliments
Place students in groups of 4 to 6, and have each student take turns being “it.” When they are “it,” the other
group members must compliment the speaker. Urge students not to base compliments on physical attributes,
but rather on personality and how the person interacts in the class. When each person has had a turn at being
“it,” have each group discuss the following questions:
· How did you feel about being “it”? Was it uncomfortable?
· How did you respond while others were complimenting you?
·
Do you feel you received any qualified compliments? Did this change the overall meaning of the
compliment?
· What comments were most significant to you? Why?
Variations:
The above questions can also be assigned as a journal that they respond to outside of class. This
assignment can also be completed online, using a discussion board or Wiki.
AVAILABLE ASSETS ON MYCOMMUNICATIONLAB
“Talkaholic Scale”
“Talk, Talk, Talk”
“Conversational Turns”
“How Flexible Is Your Communication?”
“How Polite Is Your Conversation?”
“First Day of Class”
“I Didn’t Do It”
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