978-0205930661 Chapter 3

Instructor’s Manual and Test Bank for Essentials of Human Communication, Eighth Edition

Unit Planner

CHAPTER 3: LISTENING IN HUMAN COMMUNICATION

CONCEPTS OF THIS CHAPTER

· stages of listening

· listening barriers

· styles of effective listening

· listening differences: culture and gender

KNOWLEDGE OBJECTIVES

After completing this chapter, students should be able to:

· define listening and the ways they listen

· explain how culture and gender may influence listening

SKILLS OBJECTIVES

After completing this chapter, students should:

· listen more effectively during each of the five listening stages

·

adjust their listening so that it is more effective for a specific situation

· listen with an awareness of cultural and gender differences

INSTRUCTIONAL OUTLINE

I.

Stages of Listening

The Definition of Listening —

a contemporary definition of listening must include

communication that takes place over Facebook, Twitter, blogs, and wikis, so a contemporary

definition of listening is: The process of receiving, understanding, remembering, evaluating,

and

responding to verbal and/or nonverbal messages.

•

Listening plays a role in developing and maintaining relationships.

•

Effective listeners are more likely to emerge in leadership roles.

•

L

istening is a complex and circular process that occurs in five stages:

Receiving

: hearing auditory stimuli. You hear what is said, but also what is omitted.

· This stage can be made more effective if you:

– focus attention on the speaker’s verbal and nonverbal cues

– maintain your role of listener by not interrupting

–

avoid assuming you understand something before the speaker actually says it

Understanding

: decoding the speaker’s messages; grasping the thoughts and the

accompanying emotional tone.

· more effective if you:

– relate the speaker’s information to what you already know

– see the speaker’s messages from the speaker’s point of view

–

rephrase (paraphrase) speaker’s ideas to facilitate mutual understanding

Remembering

: Effective listening requires remembering. We remember what we think was said,

not what was said. We retain certain items in short-term memory, passing others along

to

long-term memory.

– focus attention on central ideas

– organize messages in ways that are easy for you to retain

– unite new information with applicable old information

– repeat names and key concepts to yourself (or aloud, if appropriate)

Evaluating

: judging messages you hear. Often our evaluiation is of the speaker’s underlying

Instructor’s Manual and Test Bank for Essentials of Human Communication, Eighth Edition

intent or a critical analysis. Follow these steps to evaluate effectively:

– resist evaluation until you fully understand the speaker’s points

– assume the speaker is a person of goodwill

– distinguish facts from opinions and personal interpretations

Responding

: responding occurs in two phases: (1) responses while the speaker is talking

(backchanneling cues to let the speaker know you are paying attention, e.g., “uh–huh,” “I

see”) and (2) responses after the speaker has stopped. Improve responding by:

– express support for the speaker

– use a variety of backchanneling cues

– take ownership of responses by using “I” messages

– Avoid the common problem-causing listening responses

o

being overly static

o

being overly expressive

o

avoiding eye contact

o

appearing preoccupied

II.

Listening Barriers—

Overcoming common barriers will aid in effective listening.

•

Distractions: Physical and Mental

o

hearing impairments

o

noisy environments

o

multitasking

o

focusing on other things

•

Biases and Prejudices

o

stereotypes

o

Sometimes these characteristics are pertinent to the message.

•

Lack of Appropriate Focus

o

getting detoured from the main idea

o

focusing on the response, rather than on what the speaker is saying

•

Premature Judgment

o

assuming you know what the speaking is going to say

o

drawing conclusions on incomplete evidence

III. Styles of Effective Listening

Listening is situational and the art of effective listening is largely determined by making

appropriate choices along the following four dimensions:

• Empathic and Objective Listening

–

empathic listening

– listeners show empathy in two ways: by expressing understanding

of what another as said (thinking empathy) and by attempting to feel what the other

person feels (feeling empathy)

–

objective listening

– when you measure what you hear by some objective reality; when

you detach from the interests of the other person when you listen

– recommendations for adjusting empathic and objective listening focus

— punctuate from the speaker’s point of view

— engage in equal, two-way conversation

— seek to understand both thoughts and feelings

— avoid “offensive listening” that will enable you to attack the speaker

— strive to be objective when listening to friends and foes alike

• Nonjudgmental and Critical Listening

– nonjudgmental listening – listening for understanding

with an open mind; expressing support and encouragement

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Instructor’s Manual and Test Bank for Essentials of Human Communication, Eighth Edition

– critical listening – listening with a view towards making some

kind of evaluation (or judgment) and to identify biases

– recommendations for adjusting nonjudgmental-critical listening focus

— avoid filtering out or oversimplifying complex messages

— recognize our own biases

— combat the tendency to sharpen (highlight, emphasize, or embellish one or two

aspects of a message)

• Surface and Depth Listening

–

surface-level listening

– listening to the literal or surface meaning of what you hear

– depth-level listening – listening to the deeper or hidden meaning

of what you hear

– recommendations for adjusting surface and deep listening focus

— focus on both verbal and nonverbal messages

— listen for both content and relational messages

— make a special note of statements that refer back to the speaker

— don’t disregard the literal meaning of interpersonal messages

•

Polite and Impolite Listening

– can also be signaled through listening. (You may not want

to listen politely if you are offended by the message, i.e. racist or sexist language.)

— avoid interrupting

— give supportive listening cues

— show empathy with the speaker

— maintain eye contact

— give positive feedback

• Active Listening and Inactive Listening

Active listening helps you check your perception of what the speaker said and meant.

—

paraphrase

the speaker’s meaning.

— a

sk questions

to strengthen your own understanding

—

express understanding

of the speaker’s feelings.

—

avoid solution messages

– ordering messages (“Do this.” “Don’t touch that.”)

– warning and threatening messages (If you don’t do this….)

– preaching and moralizing messages (“All people should…”)

– advising messages (“You should….”)

–

IV. Listening Differences: Culture and Gender

•

Culture and Listening

Listening is a difficult process because no two communicators have the same frame of

reference. Effective listening may be impeded by cultural or gender differences that

influence language and speech, nonverbal behavior, and feedback.

–

Language and Speech

– No two speakers speak exactly the same language. Effective

listening requires being aware of the different meanings speakers may have for the same

words. This is especially true when speakers are using languages learned as second

languages.

–

Nonverbal Behaviors –

Display rules govern which nonverbal behaviors are appropriate

and which are not. This can cause noise or interference messages. Nonverbal gestures

have

different meanings in different cultures.

–

Feedback –

Effective listeners attend to feedback with full recognition that various

cultures view feedback differently.

•

Gender and Listening

Men and women learn different styles of listening. This includes:

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Instructor’s Manual and Test Bank for Essentials of Human Communication, Eighth Edition

–

Rapport and Report Talk –

Women seek to share feelings; men tend to play up

experience and dominate the interaction.

–

Listening Cues –

Men and women use different types of listening cues and show they

are listening differently. Women make more eye contact and give more cues.

–

Amount and Purposes of L

istening

–

Men listen less to women than women listen to

men; men assume confrontational poses and ask more argumentative questions.

QUESTIONS FOR DISCUSSION

1.

What is the “new” definition of listening? According to the text, why has the definition been

expanded?

2.

Identify the styles of effective listening and describe a situation in which it would be appropriate

to use each style.

3.

What is active listening? When is it appropriate to use an active listening style?

4. List and give examples of the barriers to effective listening.

5.

Why might women think that men are not listening to them, when they actually are?

ACTIVITIES FOR SKILL DEVELOPMENT

3.1 Paraphrasing for Understanding

Guidelines

: Working first individually, students should write paraphrases to each of the messages

included below. This part of the exercise may be assigned as out–of-class work. In class, have students pair

up to compare their paraphrases. Ask for volunteers to role-play each scenario and lead the class in a discussion

of the accuracy and effectiveness of each paraphrase. Discussion should focus on whether the

paraphrases

are objective restatements of the messages. Omissions and biases that surface in the

paraphrases offer

an excellent starting point for class discussion. These omissions and biases should be

related to the

techniques of active listening discussed in the chapter.

·

A roommate says, “I can’t deal with my parents’ constant fighting. I’ve seen it for the last 10

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Instructor’s Manual and Test Bank for Essentials of Human Communication, Eighth Edition

years, and I really can’t stand it anymore.”

·

A co-worker says, “I can’t understand why I didn’t get that promotion. I’ve been here longer and

do better work than Thompson. Even my two supervisors said I was next in line for a promotion.

And now it looks like another one won’t come along for at least another year.”

·

A sibling says, “I feel so overwhelmed on this new job and I think my boss knows it. I sure hope

I don’t get fired.”

·

A close friend says, “I’m not sure what to do. I really love Chris. She’s the sweetest person I’ve

ever known. I mean she’d do anything for me. But she really wants to get married. I do, too, and

yet I don’t want to make such a commitment. I mean that’s a long-term thing. And, much as I

hate to admit it, I don’t want the responsibility of a spouse, a family, a house. I really don’t need

that kind of pressure.”

3.2 Listening Actively

Guidelines:

Working first individually, students should write active listening responses to each of the

scenarios below. This part of the exercise may be assigned as out–of-class work. In class, have students

pair up or work in groups to compare their responses. Ask for volunteers to role-play each scenario and

lead the class in a discussion of how their active listening responses may have differed and why.

Discussion should focus on how active listening is more than simply repeating back to someone what he

or she has said and the importance of asking relevant questions when engaged in active listening.

·

You and your friend are discussing the recent chemistry exam. Your friend says, “I didn’t get an

A. I got a B+. What am I going to do now? I feel like a failure.”

·

A friend just won $20,000 on a quiz show but is depressed because she lost the championship and

the chance to compete for the grand prize of $150,000. She says, “I knew the answer, but I just

couldn’t think fast enough. That money could have solved all my problems.”

·

Your mother has been having a difficult time at work. She was recently passed up for a

promotion and received one of the lowest merit raises given in the company. “I’m not sure what I

did

wrong,” she tells you. “I do my work, mind my own business, and don’t take sick days like

everyone

else. How could they give that promotion to Helen, who’s been with the company only two years?

Maybe I should just quit.”

·

Your friend, looking really depressed, meets you on the street and says, “I can’t believe it. I just

got a phone call from the clinic. I’m HIV positive and I don’t know what to do.”

·

Your friend Pat has just broken up a love affair and is telling you about it. “I can’t seem to get

Chris out of my mind. All I do is daydream about what we used to do and all the fun we used to

have.”

·

A young nephew tells you that he cannot talk with his parents. No matter how hard he tries, they

just don’t listen. “I tried to tell them that I can’t play baseball and I don’t want to play

basketball,” he confides. “But they ignore me and tell me that all I need is practice.”

3.3 Regulating Your Listening Perspective

Guidelines:

Working first individually, students should indicate an appropriate and inappropriate

listening style for each of the situations below and their reasons for selecting each. Have students work in

pairs or groups to compare their answers. Lead the class in a discussion of why their answers may have

differed.

· A salesperson tells you of the benefits of a new computer

· A blind person asks for assistance in getting off a bus

· A newscaster reports on a recent Arab-Israeli meeting

· A gossip columnist details the secret life of stars

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Instructor’s Manual and Test Bank for Essentials of Human Communication, Eighth Edition

· The television advertiser explains the benefits of the new Volvo

·

Your steady dating partner for the last five years tells you that his/her spells of depression are

becoming more frequent and more long-lasting

· Your five-year-old son says he wants to be a nurse when he grows up

· Your brother tells you he’s been accepted into Harvard’s MBA program

· Your supervisor explains the new software program for email

3.4 Listening Critically to Television Advertisements

Time Frame:

Can be assigned out of class or during class, usually takes about 50 minutes.

Description:

This activity reinforces the need to distinguish between facts and inferences. Using video

advertisements (choose your favorites, many available on sites such as www.youtube.com), play two or

three during class (or have students watch and document two or three of their own favorite

advertisements.) Then answer the following questions.

· What inferences (if any) were made in the advertisements?

· Does the reasoning logically support the claims being made?

·

Would some people have information that would prevent the inference from being effective?

Answers can be in the format of class discussion, written assignments (with links to the advertisements) or

even online postings.

3.5 Let’s Apply the Concepts

Description:

Either alone or in groups, students should consider their responses to one or more of the

following scenarios. Relate their responses to concepts indicated in the brackets.

·

Your work colleagues frequently use derogatory racial terms. You want to protest this kind of

talk but at the same time you don’t want to alienate people as you’re going to have to work

closely with them for some time to come. What do you say? To whom? Through what channel?

[Hate Speech]

·

Your neighbors, who’ve avoided work all their lives and live off unfairly obtained government

disability payments, have just won the lottery for $16 million. They want you to share their joy

and invite you over for a champagne toast. What do you say? Through what channel? [Empathic

Listening]

·

Your best friend just broke up a new relationship and comes to you in hope that you will listen to

this latest tale of woe. This happens at least once a week and you’re fed up; you’re determined

not

to spend the next three hours listening to this dribble. What do you say? Through what

channel?

[Listening Avoidance]

·

Your life partner comes home from work and is visibly upset and clearly has a need to talk about

what happened but simply says, “Work sucks!” You’re determined to use active listening

techniques. What do you say? [Active Listening]

·

Friends have told you that people don’t address comments directly to you because you don’t give

listening cues that let the other person know that you’re listening and that you’re understanding

what

is being said. You’re determined to change this. What do you do? [Listening Cues]

AVAILABLE ASSETS ON MYCOMMUNICATIONLAB

“Your Listening Barriers”

“Sequential Listening”

“Fast Food”

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Instructor’s Manual and Test Bank for Essentials of Human Communication, Eighth Edition

“Listening”

“A Bad Day at Work”

“Listening with Empathy”

“Adapting to Serve a Client”

“Paraphrasing to Ensure Understanding”

“American Spoken Here”

“Typical Man, Typical Woman”

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