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Chapter 6: Completing Business Messages
This chapter wraps up the section on the three-step writing process by covering the tasks involved in
completing a message: revising, producing, proofreading, and distributing messages. It includes advice on
evaluating, editing, and revising the work of other writers and on designing messages for mobile devices.
CHAPTER OUTLINE
Revising Your Message: Evaluating the First Draft
Evaluating Your Content, Organization, Style, and Tone
Evaluating, Editing, and Revising the Work of Others
Revising to Improve Readability
Varying Your Sentence Length
Keeping Your Paragraphs Short
Using Lists to Clarify and Emphasize
Adding Headings and Subheadings
Editing for Clarity and Conciseness
Editing for Clarity
Editing for Conciseness
Producing Your Message
Designing for Readability
White Space
Margins and Justification
Typefaces
Type Styles
Formatting Formal Letters and Memos
Designing Messages for Mobile Devices
Proofreading Your Message
Distributing Your Message
Learning Catalytics is a “bring your own device” student engagement, assessment, and classroom
intelligence system. It allows instructors to engage students in class with real-time diagnostics. Students
can use any modern, web-enabled device (smartphone, tablet, or laptop) to access it. For more
information on using Learning Catalytics in your course, contact your Pearson Representative.
LECTURE NOTES
Section 1: Revising Your Message: Evaluating the First Draft
Learning Objective 1: Discuss the value of careful revision, and describe the tasks involved in evaluating
your first drafts and the work of other writers.
Since the first draft is rarely as good as it could be or needs to be, recognize that you’ll need to revise the
document.
Careful revision can mean the difference between a rambling, unfocused message and a lively, direct
message that gets results.
The third step of the three-step writing process involves four key tasks:
Revising your message to achieve optimum quality
Producing your message
Proofreading your message
Distributing your message
The nature of revision will vary according to the medium you’re using and the nature of each message.
Audiences are likely to equate the quality of your writing with the quality of your thinking.
For informal messages to internal audiences, particularly when using instant messaging, text messaging,
email, or blogging, the revision process is often as simple as quickly looking over your message to correct
any mistakes before sending or posting it.
With more complex messages, try to put your draft aside for a day or two before you begin the revision
process so that you can approach the material with a fresh eye.
After letting the document sit for a day or so, start with the “big picture,” making sure that the document
accomplishes your overall goals before moving to finer points, such as readability, clarity, and
conciseness.
Evaluating Your Content, Organization, Style, and Tone
To evaluate content, ask:
Is the information accurate?
Is the information relevant to the audience?
Is there enough information to satisfy the readers’ needs?
Is there a good balance between general information and specific information?
To review organization, ask:
Are all your points covered in the most logical order?
Do the most important ideas receive the most space, and are they placed in the most
prominent positions?
Would the message be more convincing if it were arranged in another sequence?
Are any points repeated unnecessarily?
Are details grouped together logically, or are some still scattered throughout the document?
Ask whether you have achieved the right style and tone for your audience by answering these
questions:
Is your writing formal enough to meet the audience’s expectations, without being too formal
or academic?
Is it too casual for a serious subject?
Does your message emphasize the audience’s needs over your own?
Spend a few extra moments on the beginning and end of your message.
Be sure that the opening is relevant, interesting, and geared to the reader’s probable
reaction.
Make sure your conclusion summarizes the main idea and leaves the audience with a positive impression.
Evaluating, Editing, and Revising the Work of Others
Before you dive into someone else’s work, recognize the dual responsibility that doing so entails:
Unless you’ve been specifically asked to rewrite something in your own style or change the
emphasis of the message, remember that your job is to help the other writer succeed at his
or her task, not to impose your writing style or pursue your own agenda.
Make sure you understand the writer’s intent before you begin suggesting or making changes.
Answer the following questions as you evaluate someone else’s writing:
What is the purpose of this document or message?
Who is the target audience?
What information does the audience need?
Does the document provide this information in a well-organized way?
Does the writing demonstrate the “you” a-tude toward the audience?
Is the tone of the writing appropriate for the audience?
Can the readability be improved?
Is the writing clear? If not, how can it be improved?
Is the writing as concise as it could be?
Does the design support the intended message?
Section 2: Revising to Improve Readability
Learning Objective 2: List four techniques you can use to improve the readability of your messages.
After confirming the content, organization, style, and tone of your message, make a second pass to
improve readability.
During your second pass, focus on readability:
Readers will save time and understand your messages be/er.
Your reputation for well-cra1ed documents will garner more attention for your work.
Readability formulas offer a useful reference point but are limited by what they are able to measure:
They can measure word length, number of syllables, sentence length, and paragraph length.
They cannot measure document design, the “you” a-tude, clear sentence structure, smooth
transitions, or proper word usage.
Help readers skim your message by:
Varying the sentence length
Using shorter paragraphs
Using lists and bullets instead of narrative
Adding effective headings and subheadings
Varying Your Sentence Length
By varying sentence length, you can create a rhythm that:
Emphasizes important points
Enlivens your writing style
Makes your information appealing to your reader
Each sentence length has its advantages:
Short sentences can be processed quickly and are easier for nonnative speakers to interpret.
Medium-length sentences are useful for showing the relationships among ideas.
Long sentences are often the best way to convey complex ideas, list multiple related points, or summarize
or preview information.
Each sentence length also has disadvantages:
Too many short sentences in a row can make your writing choppy.
Medium sentences lack the punch of short sentences and the informative power of longer
ones.
Long sentences are usually harder to skim and harder to understand than short sentences because they are
packed with information that must all be absorbed at once.
Keeping Your Paragraphs Short
Try to keep paragraph length short to medium:
Short paragraphs of 100 words or fewer are easier to read than long ones.
They make your writing look inviting.
You can emphasize an idea by isolating it in a short, forceful paragraph.
Don’t go overboard with short paragraphs; for example, use one-sentence paragraphs only
occasionally and usually only for emphasis.
Using Lists to Clarify and Emphasize
By using bulleted or numbered lists, you can:
Show the sequence of your ideas.
Heighten the impact of list items.
Increase the likelihood the reader will find key points.
Listed items can be separated by numbers, letters, or bullets, and they are easier to find if the entire
numbered or bulleted section is set off by a blank line before and after it.
Introduce lists clearly so that people know what they’re about to read:
Make the list a part of the introductory sentence.
Precede the list with a complete introductory sentence, followed by a colon.
Items in lists should be phrased in parallel form.
Adding Headings and Subheadings
Headings (brief titles that tell readers about the content of the section that follows) serve several
important functions:
Organization—showing readers at a glance how the document is organized
A/ention—grabbing the reader’s attention, making the text easier to read, and helping
readers 'nd the parts they need
Connection—helping readers see the relationships between subordinate and main ideas
Headings may be:
Descriptive—merely identify the topic
Informative—are self-contained and guide readers to think in a certain way
Headings should be brief and parallel throughout the entire document.
Section 3: Editing for Clarity and Conciseness
Learning Objective 3: Describe eight steps you can take to improve the clarity of your writing, and give
four tips on making your writing more concise.
After you’ve reviewed and revised your message for readability, your next step is to make sure your
message is as clear and as concise as possible.
Editing for Clarity
Ask yourself whether your message is as clear and as concise as possible by focusing on your:
Paragraph organization
Sentence structure
Word choices
When editing for clarity, be sure to:
Break up overly long sentences.
Rewrite hedging sentences.
Impose parallelism.
Correct dangling modi'ers.
Reword long noun sequences.
Replace camou=aged verbs.
Clarify sentence structure.
Clarify awkward references.
Editing for Conciseness
When editing for conciseness, remember to:
Delete unnecessary words and phrases.
Shorten long words and phrases.
Eliminate redundancies.
Recast “It is/There are” starters if shorter alternatives are available.
Remove every adverb that adds nothing to the meaning already carried in the verb.
As you rewrite, concentrate on:
How each word contributes to an effective sentence
How each sentence develops a coherent paragraph
Section 4: Producing Your Message
Learning Objective 4: List four principles of effective design, and explain the role of major design
elements in document readability.
Production quality of your message—the total effect of page or screen design, graphical elements,
typography:
Plays an important role in the effectiveness of your message
Makes your material easier to read but also conveys a sense of professionalism and importance
Designing for Readability
Document presentation can help or hurt readability in two ways:
Carefully done design elements can improve the effectiveness of your message (and thus
poorly done design elements can act as barriers, blocking your communication).
The design itself sends a nonverbal message to the audience, influencing their perceptions of the
communication before they read a single word.
Effective design helps you:
Establish the tone of your document.
Guide your readers through your message.
Make your design elements effective by paying careful attention to the following design elements:
Consistency
Balance
Restraint
Detail
Class discussion question: Have you ever prejudged or rejected the message contained in a document or
website because of poor or inappropriate visual presentation? For example, if a website’s design looked
dated or clumsy, did you find yourself dismissing its content because something so poorly presented
couldn’t possibly be useful, authoritative, or current? What effect does visual design have on the
credibility of a message?
White space:
Is space of any color that is free of text and artwork
Provides contrast
Offers readers a visual resting point
White space includes:
The open area surrounding headings
The space in margins
The space in paragraph indents
The space around images
The vertical space between columns
The horizontal space between paragraphs or lines of text
Lines of type can be set:
Justi'ed (=ush on both the le1 and right margins)
Flush le1 with a ragged-right margin
Flush right with a ragged-le1 margin
Centered with ragged-left and ragged-right margins
Justified type:
Creates a denser look because the uniform line lengths decrease the amount of white
space along the right margin
Produces a more formal and less personalized look
Is more difficult to read because it can produce large gaps between words and excessive
hyphenation at the ends of lines
Flush-left–ragged-right type:
Produces a less formal and more contemporary look
Gives a document an informal, contemporary feeling of openness
Is easier to read (because the spacing between words is the same)
Reduces hyphenation (because only long words are hyphenated at the end of lines)
Centered type is:
Rarely used for text paragraphs
Commonly used for headings and subheadings
Flush-right–ragged-left type is rarely used in business documents.
The term typeface refers to the physical design of letters, numbers, and other characters.
Font and typeface are often used interchangeably, although strictly speaking, a font is a set of
characters in a given typeface.
Each typeface influences the tone of your message.
Serif typefaces such as Times Roman:
Have small crosslines (serifs) at the ends of each letter stroke
Are commonly used for regular paragraph text
Can look busy and cluttered when set in large sizes for headings and other display type
Sans serif typefaces such as Helvetica and Arial:
Have no serifs
Are ideal for larger sized font
Can be diDcult to read in long blocks of text unless set with generous leading
Look best when surrounded by plenty of white space
The classic style of document design uses a sans serif typeface for headings and a serif typeface
for regular paragraph text; however, many contemporary documents now use all sans serif.
Two typefaces should be enough for most business documents, although you might consider a
third for special uses.
Type style is any modification that lends contrast or emphasis to type, such as:
Boldface
Italics
Underlining
Color
Other highlighting and decorative styles
Use boldface type for subheads, but avoid overuse of boldface within the text.
Use italic type for emphasis as well as for highlighting quotations and indicating foreign words,
irony, humor, book and movie titles, and unconventional usage.
Underlining, all upper case, and shadowed or outlined type can hinder legibility and slow your
readers’ progress.
When completing your business message, choose your type size to match the importance of your
message and the space allotted:
Use a size of 10 to 12 points for regular text and 12 to 18 points for headings and
subheadings.
Small type is hard to read.
Extra-large type looks unprofessional in most applications.
Formatting Formal Letters and Memos
Formal business letters usually follow certain design conventions.
Most are printed on letterhead stationery, which includes the company’s name, address, and other contact
information.
Typical elements, in the following order:
Date
Inside address (identifies the person receiving the letter)
Salutation, usually in the form of Dear Mr. or Ms. Last Name.
The message
Complimentary close, usually Sincerely or Cordially
Paper memos have largely been replaced by digital media in many companies.
When used, they usually contain the following:
A title such as Memo, Memorandum, or Interoffice Correspondence
Four headings: Date, To, From, and Subject (Re:, short for Regarding, is sometimes used instead
of Subject)
Memos usually don’t use a salutation, complimentary close, or signature, although signing your initials
next to your name on the From line is standard practice in most companies.
Memos are often distributed without sealed envelopes, so they are less private than most other message
formats.
Designing Messages for Mobile Devices
Follow these steps to format content for mobile devices:
Think in small chunks. Try to divide your message into independent, screen-size,
easy-to-consume bites.
Make generous use of white space. Keep your paragraphs short (4–6 lines), and separate them
with blank lines so the reader’s eyes can easily jump from one point to the next.
Format simply. Avoid anything that is likely to get in the way of fast, easy reading.
Consider horizontal and vertical layouts. Most phones and tablets can automatically rotate their
screen content from horizontal to vertical as the user rotates the device.
Section 5: Proofreading Your Message
Learning Objective 5: Explain the importance of proofreading, and give eight tips for successful
proofreading.
Proofreading is the quality inspection stage for your documents, your last chance to make sure that your
document is ready to carry your message—and your reputation—to the intended audience.
Review your document for:
Undetected mistakes from the writing, design, and layout stages
Mistakes that crept in during production
Several techniques can help you proofread more effectively:
Make multiple passes.
Use perceptual tricks (such as reading each page backward).
Double-check high-priority items.
Give yourself some distance.
Be vigilant.
Stay focused.
Consider reviewing complex electronic documents on paper if possible.
Take your time.
The amount of time you need to spend on proofreading depends on:
Document length
Document complexity
Situation
Class discussion question: How do you react when you see a typo, grammatical error, or other mistake in
a written message? Do you tend to look past it and keep your focus on the message, or does it color your
assessment of writer’s knowledge, education, and abilities? Do you judge formal messages and
documents more harshly than informal ones?
Section 6: Distributing Your Message
Learning Objective 6: Discuss the most important issues to consider when distributing your messages.
When planning your distribution, consider:
Cost
Convenience
Time
Security and privacy
HIGHLIGHT BOX: THE FUTURE OF COMMUNICATION
Haptic Technologies
As the box notes, haptic technologies present at least a couple of interesting possibilities that relate to
business communication in its broadest sense. First, adding touch to a human-machine interaction can
make it realistic or provide vital feedback. This can relieve some of the burden of trying to describe
something verbally. Second, by providing a more immersive experience, they might improve access to
job opportunities and company resources (production systems, information systems, etc.) for people
with limited vision.
COMMUNICATION CHALLENGES AT TYPE TOGETHER
Individual Challenge
Note: For an exercise such as this, where students are tasked with repurposing a company’s published
information, it is acceptable for them to reuse short text sections verbatim.
The Info/About Us page has multiple key points that students should be able to identify. Here are four
points that summarize the company’s appeal to professional designers and other people shopping for
fonts:
TypeTogether’s main interest is finding innovative and stylish solutions to old problems for the
professional market, with a focus on editorial use
The aesthetic and functional efficiency of TT’s fonts are accompanied by excellence in technical
performance.
In addition to TypeTogether’s high quality library of retail fonts, TT also provides custom
modifications and specially tailored typefaces
The quality of TypeTogether’s work has been already recognized in several international
competitions, including TDC and ED-Awards.
You may want to explain to students that editorial in this context refers to use in magazines, newspapers,
and other periodicals. In addition, the description should include the company’s URL
(www.type-together.com) so that potential customers can get more information.
The four bullet points above add up to 73 words, so the raw material is already near the word-count limit,
but students only need to stitch these components together to create the description. At 74 words, here is
one possible version:
TypeTogether develops innovative and stylish solutions to age-old challenges for the professional
market, with a focus on editorial use. These fonts offer aesthetic and functional efficiency with
excellence in technical performance. In addition to a high-quality library of retail fonts, we provide
custom modifications and specially tailored typefaces for unique corporate uses. The quality of our
work has been recognized in several international competitions, including TDC and ED-Awards. See
our full range at www.type-together.com.
Team Challenge
By searching online for “dos and don’ts for choosing and using fonts” or similar phrases, students will be able
to find a wealth of advice on this topic.
