978-0134202037 Chapter 6 Soluotion Manual

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Chapter 6: Verbal Communication Skills

LEARNING OBJECTIVES

6.1 Describe how words create meaning.

6.2 Identify how words influence our perceptions, thoughts, actions, culture, and relationships.

6.3 Identify and describe word barriers that lead to misunderstandings.

6.4 Use words to provide support and comfort, and to avoid defensiveness.

6.5 Use words to have a conversation with others.

6.6 Use words to offer an apology when appropriate.

6.7 Use assertiveness skills appropriately and ethically.

CHAPTER OUTLINE

I. How Words Work

Learning Objective 6.1: Describe how words create meaning.

A. Words Are Symbols

1. Charles Ogden and Ivor Richards developed the triangle of meaning, which explains

the relationships between referents, thoughts, and symbols.

a. A symbol is a word, sound, or visual image that represents something else, such

as a thought, concept, or object.

b. A referent is the thing that a symbol represents.

c. Thought is the mental process of creating an image, sound, concept, or

experience triggered by a referent or symbol.

2. Words Are Denotative and Connotative

a. A word’s denotative meaning conveys content, the word’s restrictive or literal

definition as found in the dictionary.

b. The connotative meaning of language conveys feelings, the personal or

subjective association with a word.

3. Words Are Concrete and Abstract

a. Words can be placed along a continuum from abstract to concrete.

b. We call a word concrete if we can experience its referent with one of our senses.

c. If we cannot experience the referent with our senses, then the word is abstract.

d. In general, the more concrete the language, the easier it is for others to

understand.

B. Many Words Are Arbitrary

1. There is not necessarily a logical connection between the referent and the symbol.

2. The arbitrary nature of most words means that there is no inherent meaning in a word.

3. Words that, when pronounced, sound like the event or thing they are signifying are

called onomatopoetic words; the use of such words is called onomatopoeia.

C. Words Are Culture-Bound

1. Culture consists of a group of people’s rules, norms, values, and mores that have been

learned and shaped from one generation to the next.

2. The meaning of a symbol, such as a word, can change from culture to culture.

3. The study of words and meaning is called semantics.

a. One important semantic theory, known as symbolic interaction theory, suggests

that as a society, we make sense of the world based on our interpretation of words

and symbols used by other people.

b. The theory of symbolic interaction also illuminates how we use our common

understanding of symbols to form interpersonal relationships.

II. The Power of Words

Learning Objective 6.2: Identify how words influence our perceptions, thoughts, actions,

culture, and relationships.

A. Words Create Perceptions

1. Words give us tools to create our world by naming and labeling what we experience.

2. When you label something as “good” or “bad,” you are using language to create your

own vision of how you experience the world.

3. You create your self-worth largely with self-talk and with the labels you give

yourself.

4. One theorist believes you create your moods and emotional state with the words you

use to label your feelings.

B. Words Influence Thoughts

1. Words and thoughts are inextricably linked.

2. Scientific evidence indicates that words influence our thoughts.

3. Words symbolize meaning, but the precise meaning of a word originates in the minds

of the sender and the receiver.

C. Words Influence Actions

1. Words not only have the power to create and influence your thoughts, they also

influence your actions—because your thoughts, which are influenced by words, affect

how you behave.

2. Advertisers know that slogans and catchphrases sell products.

3. The way we use language can communicate the amount of power we have in a

conversation with others.

4. We use language in ways that are both powerful and powerless.

a. With powerless speech we are less persuasive and have less influence on others.

b. Powerless speech is characterized by more pauses and words like “umm” and

“ahh.”

c. Another way of communicating a lack of power is by tacking on a question at the

end of a statement.

D. Words Affect and Reflect Culture

1. A theory called linguistic determinism describes how use of language determines or

influences thoughts and perceptions.

2. A related theory, linguistic relativity, explains that each language includes some

unique features that are not found in other languages.

3. The Sapir-Whorf hypothesis is based on the principles of linguistic determinism and

linguistic relativity.

a. Language shapes our thoughts and culture.

b. A person’s thoughts and culture affect the language he or she uses to describe our

world.

c. A person’s worldview is his or her individual perceptions or perceptions by a

culture or group of people about key beliefs and issues, such as death, God, and

the meaning of life, which influence interaction with others.

E. Words Make and Break Relationships

1. What you say and how you say it have a strong impact on how you relate to others.

2. We relate to our communication partners with both language and nonverbal cues.

F. Clues to Our Relationships Are Found in Our Word Choice

1. It is through our talk that we establish our relationships with other people. Steve Duck

suggests that we literally talk a relationship into being.

2. Words influence relationships when we express our emotions and feelings during our

conversations.

3. What we talk about with our partners forms the basis for how we relate to other

people.

G. Clues to Our Relationships Are Found in What We Don’t Say

1. The use of profanity—words considered obscene, blasphemous, irreverent, rude, or

insensitive—has an impact on our relationships with others.

2. Whether or not a word is considered “profane” is determined by context and culture.

3. The other person, not you, determines the effect of the use of profanity on the

relationship.

4. A euphemism is a mild or indirect word that is substituted for one that describes

something vulgar, profane, unpleasant, or embarrassing.

H. Clues to Our Relationships Are Found in Our Tweets, Texts, and Posts

1. The words we use in our Facebook posts, tweets, texts, and other online messages

provide important information about us in ways we may not be consciously aware.

2. People tend to be highly verbally immediate online, which means that people use

more personal pronouns, present tense words, conditional words, shorter words, and

fewer words than we do when interacting with others face to face.

III. How to Manage Misunderstanding

Learning Objective 6.3: Identify and describe word barriers that lead to

misunderstandings.

A. Be Aware of Missed Meaning

1. Bypassing is confusion caused by the same words meaning different things to

different people.

2. The English language is imprecise: It is estimated that the 500 words used most often

in daily conversations in English have more than 14,000 dictionary definitions.

B. Be Clear

1. Lack of clarity may be created through improper or imprecise use of words.

2. A malapropism is a confusion of one word or phrase for another that sounds similar

to it.

3. Other examples of lack of clarity include using words out of context, using

inappropriate grammar, or putting words in the wrong order.

C. Be Specific

1. For most communication, the object is to be as specific and concrete as possible.

2. You are being too precise if you use a restricted code—a set of words that have a

particular meaning to a person, group, or culture—in a group that does not understand

it. When people have known each other for a long time, they may use restricted codes

for their exchanges.

3. Jargon is another name for a restricted code; it is the use of specialized terms or

abbreviations whose meanings are only known to members of a specific group.

4. Allness is the tendency to use language to make unqualified, often untrue

generalizations.

a. One example of an allness statement is “All women are poor drivers.”

b. Avoid untrue generalizations by reminding yourself that your use and

interpretation of a word is unique, and by qualifying statements with the words

“to me.” (“Curfews for teenagers seem ridiculous to me.”)

c. Indexing is one way to avoid generalizations by using statements that separate

one situation, person, or example from another.

D. Be Aware of Changes in Meaning

1. Static evaluation is a pronouncement that does not take the possibility of change into

consideration.

2. The metaphorical expression “the map is not the territory” illustrates that words, like

maps, must constantly change to represent and accommodate change.

3. To avoid this barrier, date your observations and indicate the time period from which

you draw your observations.

E. Be Aware of Polarizing Either-Or Extremes

1. If you describe things in extremes (polarization) and leave out the middle ground,

your language does not accurately reflect reality. Examples of polarization include

good or bad, old or new, beautiful or ugly.

2. Family counselors who listen to family feuds find that the tendency to see things from

an either/or point of view is a classic symptom of a troubled relationship.

F. Be Unbiased

1. Using words that reflect your biases toward other cultures or ethnic groups, the other

gender, people with a different sexual orientation, or people who are different from

you in some other way can create a barrier for your listeners. Hate speech includes

words or phrases intended to offend or show disrespect for someone’s race, ethnicity,

cultural background, gender, or some other aspect of their personal identity.

2. Avoid Sexist Language

a. Nonsexist language reflects nonsexist attitudes.

b. Monitoring your speech for sexist remarks can help you keep your sexist

assumptions in check.

c. Nonsexist language will make your speech more contemporary and unambiguous.

d. Your nonsexist language will empower others.

i. Talk about the sexual orientation of others by being other-oriented and using

terms that are preferred by those being described.

ii. Monitor your speech so that you are not, even unconsciously, using phrases

that depict a racial group or ethnic group in a negative, stereotypical fashion.

3. Avoid Ethnically or Racially Biased Language

a. Monitor your speech so that you do not, even unconsciously, use phrases that

depict a racial group or ethnic group in a negative, stereotypical fashion.

b. The terms we use to label ethnic groups reflect perceptions of culture and identity.

c. A sensitive, other-oriented communicator keeps abreast of such changes and

adopts the designations currently preferred by members of the ethnic groups

themselves.

4. Avoid Demeaning Language

a. Language barriers are created when they disparage a person’s age, mental or

physical ability, or social standing.

b. Discrimination based on age is a growing problem in the workplace.

c. The way someone describes people with disabilities can negatively affect how

they may be perceived.

d. Although some societies and cultures make considerable distinctions among

classes, it is nonetheless offensive today to use words that are intended to demean

someone’s socioeconomic status.

In-Text Opportunity for Classroom Discussion

Relating to Diverse Others: Do Men and Women Speak the Same Language?

Communication researchers have found that differences between the way that men and women

talk are not as extreme as popular culture books, such as Men Are from Mars, Women Are from

Venus, have proposed. Men and women may have different assumptions about the function of

talk in the development of relationships. This feature presents findings from Julia Wood’s

research about the differences between men and women’s use of verbal messages. Hold a class

discussion about whether students agree with the research findings and whether there are other

differences that they notice between the way that men and women talk. Finally, have students

create a list of reasons for why they believe these differences exist.

IV. How to Use Words of Support and Comfort

Learning Objective 6.4: Use words to provide support and comfort, and to avoid

defensiveness.

A. What you talk about can generate greater positive feelings.

1. For more than three decades, Jack Gibb’s observational research has been used as a

framework for both describing and prescribing verbal behaviors that contribute to

feelings of either supportiveness or defensiveness.

2. Words can be used to create a supportive climate rather than an antagonistic or

defensive one.

3. Words and actions are tools we use to let someone know whether or not we support

them.

B. Describe Your Feelings, Rather than Evaluate Your Behavior

1. Most of us do not like to be judged or evaluated.

2. One way to avoid evaluating others is to eliminate the accusatory “you” from your

language.

3. Instead, use the word “I” to describe your own feelings and thoughts about a situation

or event.

a. In doing this you are, in essence, taking ownership of the problem.

b. This approach leads to greater openness and trust because your listener does not

feel rejected or as if you are trying to control him or her.

4. Extended “I” language is a brief preface to a feedback statement, intended to

communicate that you do not want your listener to take your message in an overly

critical way.

5. Listening for the way you use “I,” “you,” “me,” and “we” can provide clues to the

overall quality of the relationship.

C. Solve Problems Rather Than Control

1. Someone using language in an attempt to control us is likely to foster a defensive

climate.

2. Open-ended questions create a more supportive climate than critical comments.

D. Be Genuine Rather Than Manipulative

1. To be genuine means that you honestly seek to be yourself rather than someone you

are not.

2. It also means taking an honest interest in others and considering the uniqueness of

each individual and situation, avoiding generalizations or strategies that focus only on

your own needs and desires.

3. A manipulative person has hidden agendas.

In-Text Opportunity for Classroom Discussion

Communication and Emotion: The Timing of Saying “I Love You”: After You. No, After

You.

Research has found that men are more likely than women to say “I love you” first in a romantic

relationship. There are other gender differences in the way that we communicate love to our

partner. Sandra Metts found that the meaning of telling your romantic partner that you love him

or her is likely to be interpreted in relation to whether it is pre-sex or post-sex. Use these research

findings as a starting point for a class discussion on the role of time in communicating love to a

romantic relationship. Students can also be encouraged to generate examples of other types of

relationships (e.g., parents, friends) and instances in which timing of messages is important.

In-Text Opportunity for Classroom Discussion

Improving Your Communication Skills: Practice Using “I” Language and Extended “I”

Language

This feature provides five “you” language statements for students to rephrase into “I” language

and Extended “I” language statements. Have students complete the exercise independently.

E. Empathize Rather Than Remain Detached

1. Empathy is one of the hallmarks of supportive relationships.

2. Being empathic is the essence of being other-oriented.

3. The opposite of empathy is neutrality; being indifferent or apathetic toward another.

4. What most people want from others during times of stress are messages of empathy

and sensitivity to their feelings, followed by problem solving, relating, refraining

from general negativity, and offering a different perspective.

F. Be Flexible Rather Than Rigid

1. Most people do not like someone who always seems certain that he or she is right.

2. The “I’m right, you’re wrong” attitude creates a defensive climate.

G. Present Yourself As Equal Rather Than Superior

1. You can antagonize others by letting them know that you view yourself as better than

they are.

2. Although some people have the responsibility and authority to manage others,

“pulling rank” does not usually produce a cooperative climate.

3. Avoid using abstract language or professional jargon to impress others.

4. When communicating with someone from another culture, you may need to use an

elaborated code to get your message across. An elaborated code is conversation that

uses many words and various ways of describing an idea or concept to communicate

its meaning without being condescending.

5. Underlying the goal of creating a supportive rather than a defensive communication

climate is the importance of providing social and emotional support when

communicating with others.

6. Appropriate humor can be used to turn a tense, potentially conflict-producing

confrontation into a more supportive, positive conversation.

V. How to Have a Conversation

Learning Objective 6.5: Use words to have a conversation with others.

A. Conversation is the spontaneous, interactive exchange of messages with another person.

A simple conversation with another person is made more difficult because of distractions

from technology.

B. Starting a Conversation

1. The easiest way to start a conversation is to comment on something happening in the

present moment.

2. Let the situation, time, location, and other person help you determine how to start a

conversation.

C. Sustaining a Conversation

1. The two most important skills in keeping a conversation going are (1) asking

questions, and (2) listening.

2. Early on in the conversation, the focus is usually on small talk.

3. Asking open-ended questions is the most effective way to keep the conversation

going.

4. As the conversation unfolds, focus on the other person and adapt to him or her.

5. When looking to end a conversation, do so graciously.

VI. How to Apologize

Learning Objective 6.6: Use assertiveness skills appropriately and ethically.

A. An apology is an explicit admission of an error with a request for forgiveness.

B. An apology helps us save face and can repair relational stress.

C. Research has found that when we apologize to someone, the person we initially offended

has greater empathy toward us and is less likely to avoid us or seek revenge.

D. One of the most effective ways to apologize is simply to honestly and sincerely admit

that you were wrong.

VII. How to Be Assertive

Learning Objective 6.7: Use words to offer an apology when appropriate.

A. Know the difference between being assertive and being aggressive.

1. Being assertive is to make requests, ask for information, stand up for your rights, and

generally pursue your own best interests without denying your partner’s rights.

2. Being aggressive is expressing one’s interests while denying the rights of others by

blaming, judging, and evaluating other people.

3. There are five key behaviors to practice to develop skill in being assertive.

B. Describe

1. Describe how you view the situation.

2. You need to be assertive because the other person has not been other-oriented.

C. Disclose

1. Disclose your feelings to help build empathy.

2. It will also avoid lengthy harangues about the other person’s unjust treatment.

D. Identify Effects

1. Identify the effects of the other person’s behavior on you or on others.

E. Be Silent

1. Be silent and wait for a response.

2. Monitor your nonverbal cues to be certain you are not contradicting your verbal

message.

F. Paraphrase

1. Paraphrase content and feelings.

2. If the other person is evasive, unresponsive, or aggressive, cycle the steps again.

In-Text Opportunity for Classroom Discussion

Improving Your Communication Skills: How to Express Your Emotions to Others

Researchers have found that communication is enhanced when you clearly express how you are

feeling using well-chosen words and phrases. The text provides a list of positive, neutral, and

negative emotion words. Have students complete the activities independently, practicing

expressing their emotions in different scenarios. These activities should help students practice

using word pictures, short statements or stories that dramatize emotions you have experienced.

In-Text Opportunity for Classroom Discussion

#communicationandtechnology: Relating to Others Online

Research has found that college students have a love-hate relationship with Facebook. This

feature includes research from linguist Naomi Baron on our increased reliance on the written

word and how relating to others online can change the nature of our interpersonal relationships.

With a partner, have students go through the bulleted points and have them discuss their

reactions to the research findings and its relevance to their own personal use of social media.

In-Text Opportunity for Classroom Discussion

Applying an Other-Orientation to Enhancing Your Verbal Skills

This feature presents three main points for developing an other-orientation when communicating

verbally: meanings are in people, not words; speak to others as they would like to be spoken to;

words have power to influence others. Have students discuss, in pairs, times that they used these

strategies when interacting with another person and how that led to a positive outcome.

KEY TERMS

symbol, LO 6.1

referent, LO 6.1

thought, LO 6.1

denotative meaning,

LO 6.1

connotative meaning,

LO 6.1

onomatopoeia, LO 6.1

symbolic interaction

theory, LO 6.1

linguistic determinism,

LO 6.2

linguistic relativity, LO 6.2

Sapir-Whorf hypothesis,

LO 6.2

worldview, LO 6.2

profanity, LO 6.2

euphemism, LO 6.2

bypassing, LO 6.3

malapropism, LO 6.3

restricted code, LO 6.3

jargon, LO 6.3

allness, LO 6.3

indexing, LO 6.3

static evaluation, LO 6.3

polarization, LO 6.3

hate speech, LO 6.3

extended “I” language,

LO 6.4

elaborated code, LO 6.4

conversation, LO 6.5

apology, LO 6.6

assertive, LO 6.7

aggressive, LO 6.7

word picture, LO 6.7

LECTURE TOPICS

1. Where do words come from? In thinking about the origin of a particular word, consider who

named it, different meanings of the word, and how, if at all, that word has changed over time.

2. How does culture influence your language choices? What are some words that you

commonly use that are different from other cultures?

3. Explain why you use or do not use profanity when talking with other people. How does

others’ use of profanity (including the type of media that you watch) impact your own

language choices?

GROUP IN-CLASS ACTIVITIES FOR SKILL DEVELOPMENT

1. Cultural Origin of Words. Have students work in small groups comparing the names they

each use for the following popular foods:

• Carbonated drinks

• Sandwiches made on long rolls

• Drinks made with ice cream

• Cut and fried potatoes

• Tubular links of processed meat, often seen on barbecue grills

Ask students to consider the origin of these terms for them. For example, people from

northern states may refer to carbonated beverages as “pop.” What are some other names for

this type of beverage?

2. Concrete and Abstract Terms. To clarify the distinction between concrete and abstract

terms, ask each student in turn to write and draw the first thing that pops into his or her head

for each of the following:

• Dog

• Large dog

• Large dog with spots

• Large dog with black and white spots

• Dalmatian

Have students compare their lists and drawing with a classmate. Then, hold a large class

discussion about the use of concrete and abstract terms. Consider the following questions to

guide the discussion:

• When talking with others, what are the benefits in being more specific? In being less

specific?

• When, if at all, is it a good idea to be ambiguous with your use of language?

3. Recognizing Barriers in Communication. Read the following statements aloud to the class.

Ask students to identify the barrier to effective communication present in each statement.

The answers are in parentheses.

• “You can’t love me, but not want to marry me; ‘love’ means ‘marriage.’” (bypassing)

• “Once a liar, always a liar.” (static evaluation)

• “The French are outstanding cooks.” (allness)

• “Either you’re with me or you’re against me.” (polarization)

• “You’re always leaving the dirty dishes in the sink. The fact is you are self-centered.”

(allness)

• “Either I get the job I want when I graduate, or college was a total waste of time.”

(polarization)

• “So, are you studying to become a black doctor?” (biased language)

• “College students spend most of their time partying.” (allness)

• “Perhaps you should consider becoming an authoress.” (biased language)

• “His speech was memorable because of his gestation.” (lack of clarity, malapropism—

“gestation” is the period of carrying developing offspring in the uterus after conception;

“gesticulation” is the act of using gestures)

• “You have never in your life considered a single person, other than yourself.” (allness)

• “An hour is not ‘running a little late’; ten minutes is ‘running a little late.”’ (bypassing)

• “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.” (static evaluation)

• “I feel a lot more like I do now, than I did when I got here.” (lack of clarity)

HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENTS

1. The Evolution of Words. Have students go to Urban Dictionary

(www.urbandictionary.com) and select one new word that they use that is on this website.

Given the profanity and crudeness of some of the words, please remind students to be

appropriate when selecting their term. After students select a word, have them write a short

response about the definition and origin of the word. Next, have students write a few

examples or sentences using the word they selected. Finally, have students write about where

these words and definitions originated, and why words evolve over time.

2. Confirming and Disconfirming Responses. Have students provide a written response for

the following questions about ONE of their interpersonal relationships (e.g., a close friend, a

dating partner, a family member):

• Identify the communication climate of a personal relationship that is important in your

life. (Is it rocky, fair, positive, negative?)

• List a number of verbal and nonverbal confirming and disconfirming messages that have

helped you and your relational partner create and maintain the climate as it is today.

• Discuss how the verbal and nonverbal confirming or disconfirming messages you have

identified have either created or diminished issues of conflict in the relationship.

• If the current climate is negative, describe what sorts of verbal and nonverbal confirming

messages you and your partner can use to either maintain or improve the existing climate

or to make the climate better.

3. The Art of Apology. Have students read the article “The Art of Apology” at

http://www.education.com/magazine/article/Art_of_Apology/. Then, ask students to write

responses to the following questions:

• How do you feel about the “rote” apology?

• Should all apologies either be heartfelt or not given at all?

• Could there be such a thing as a “courtesy” apology that is not necessarily heartfelt? Is

there a place for such an apology in your daily life? Do you ever use this type of

apology?

• How do you feel about parents taking on the task of teaching their children to apologize?

• How important do you feel apologies are when they occur between romantic partners?

Family members? Strangers? Coworkers?

REVEL WRITING EXERCISES

Journal Writing

6.1 Journal: Culture and Language. How has culture affected your language? Do you use

words that seem confusing to others? Have you been in a situation in which someone used a

familiar word but with a different meaning than you were accustomed to? How did you resolve

the understanding? Provide examples.

6.2 Journal: Euphemisms. Make a list of euphemisms used in everyday speech as well as by

politicians and other public figures. Is the use of these words and expressions appropriate? Do

they deliberately mislead? Do they diminish the significance of a difficult situation?

6.3 Journal: Misunderstandings and Conflicts. Imagine that a conflict between you and your

friend has increased recently. You have a hunch that some of the conflict may stem from not

understanding your friend. What could you do to decrease misunderstanding and enhance

accurate understanding?

6.4 Journal: Being Nonjudgmental. You realize you have a tendency to judge others and

evaluate them, which makes you feel superior. What steps might you take to develop a more

supportive, descriptive, nonjudgmental perspective?

6.5 Journal: Sustaining the Conversation. Your date is part of the wedding party so he or she

is sitting at a different table than you during dinner. You have never met any of the people at

your table. The woman sitting to your right mentions she lives in San Francisco and works in real

estate. What kind of questions would you ask her to sustain the conversation?

6.6 Journal: Fake Apologies. Is it wrong to offer an apology even if you think you weren’t

wrong, but you want to make peace and it will be less stressful if you just offer a fake apology to

smooth things over?

6.7 Journal: Aggressive versus Assertive. Describe a situation in which you were aggressive

instead of assertive. Looking back, what would you have done or said differently? Consider your

nonverbal and verbal responses.

Shared Writing: Speaking the Same Language

Work in groups to discuss whether you think men and women “speak the same language.” Are

men really from Mars and women from Venus? Why or why not? In what ways do men and

women communicate in the same way? In what ways (if any) are they different?