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8: Writing Negative Messages
8-11
understanding and reasoning)
8-8. Once a criticism is substantiated, you should respond with efforts to rectify the situation
and reach a reasonable solution. And make sure your response won’t make the situation
PRACTICE YOUR SKILLS
Exercises for Perfecting Your Writing
8-9. Direct. However, if you have anything to do with the reason the client is leaving, then you
8-10. If it’s not a special order, then direct is appropriate. (LO 8.2, 8.3; AACSB Tag: Written and
oral communication)
8-11. Indirect. Since this is a special order, the customer is likely to be especially disappointed.
8-12. Yes, you should use a buffer because this loss of business is significant to the restaurant.
communication)
8-13. Your invitation to speak at this year’s annual fundraising event is a personal honor, so a
8-14. Because you have a good working relationship with the vendor, it is important to weaken
(LO 8.3; AACSB Tag: Written and oral communication)
8-15. Even though unused tickets are nonrefundable, your ticket is still valid and may be used to
8-16. After a thorough search, we were able to find a supplier that can provide you with a
8-17. Since the MP3 player was immersed in water, it cannot be replaced. We will, however, be
8: Writing Negative Messages
8-12
Activities
8-18. Some barriers to communication contained in this letter are the following:
negative manner (“Unfortunately . . .”).
list.
same”), which leaves room for disagreement.
4. The “charge” for the tubs of ice with soft drinks is not specified in the letter.
6. The letter includes neither specific information about dates nor a callback number.
Here’s one version of the revised letter:
CAREFREE CATERING
1449 Webster Blvd., Athens, GA 30601
Voice: 706-288-3022 Fax: 706-288-2222
April 20, 2015
Mr. Tom Landon, Social Chairman
Zeta Tau Omega Fraternity
220 Gaines Commons
Athens, GA 30601
Dear Mr. Landon:
can review them with your committee.
Table and chair rental/delivery (approximately 10/100) $200
Food (approximately 100 @ $7.50 for Texas BBQ) $750
Table and chair set-up $100
recommend several security companies.
After you’ve met with your committee and formed an idea of your budget, please give me
8: Writing Negative Messages
8-13
(LO 8.4; AACSB Tag: Written and oral communication)
8-19. A possible buffer would be: “Thank you for contacting us about long distance charges on
AACSB Tag: Written and oral communication)
suffers from these additional problems:
1. The letter fails to thank the reader for writing. The writer sounds irritated that the reader
at new models for purchase.
reader’s office.
3. The letter delivers information about the warranty in a negative way.
4. Although the letter states, “you are a valued customer,” this statement seems insincere.
list.
6. The tone is presumptuous.
Here’s a revised version:
ESSEX ELECTRONICS
1711 Chicago St.,
Omaha, Nebraska 68101
(800) 644-8333 / (402) 592-3388
Fax: (402) 592-3388 / www.essexel.com
January 7, 2015
Mr. Satoshi Kim
Kim Consulting, Inc.
305 West Military Avenue, #3
Fremont, NE 68025
Dear Mr. Kim:
form, complete with your credit card number and signature.
Our turnaround time for repairs is about ten days, unless parts have to be ordered. If you
would like an estimate of cost and time, please include a note, and one of our service
representatives will call you with that information.
Sincerely,
(LO 8.4; AACSB Tag: Written and oral communication)
8: Writing Negative Messages
8-14
8-21. Although the company will want to buffer the bad news, readers should learn of the higher
presents an opportunity to discuss how communicators must be aware of the legal
8-22. This message is going to top executives who need clear, concise information, so use the
direct approach. Open with a statement of mutual agreement. Get right to the bad news, but
Here’s a revised version:
Date: Wed, 28 May 2013, 4:20:15 -0800
From: M. Juhasz, Travel & Meeting Services <mjuhasz@blackanddecker.com>
To: [mailing list]
CC:
BCC:
Attached:
Subject: Creative Cost-Cutting
Dear Traveling Executives:
Meeting Services department.
We’d like to pass on some suggestions we’ve brainstormed to help you curb travel expenses
without cutting into your meeting productivity—and thus help Black & Decker weather the
current economic storm.
BEFORE YOUR TRIP:
Let us know if you frequently visit the same location, which will give us a negotiating
edge with hotels, based on your repeat business.
DURING YOUR TRIP:
8: Writing Negative Messages
8-15
Please share any other ideas you have for travel savings. We’ll pass them along. By working
Sincerely,
M. Juhasz, Travel & Meeting Services
(LO 8.4; AACSB Tag: Written and oral communication)
8-23. The letter opens by stating the bad news. Reasons for the rejection could soften the bad
news, but they don’t appear until later in the letter. The reasons presented in the second
To improve the letter, use the indirect approach. Open with a thank-you that reintroduces
the subject. Follow with positive resale about Home Depot as a potential business partner,
HOME DEPOT
2455 Paces Ferry Road, Atlanta, GA 30339-4024
(770) 743-8211
July 15, 2015
Pamela Wilson, Operations Manager
Sterling Manufacturing
133 Industrial Avenue
Gary, IN 46403
Dear Ms. Wilson:
Your faucets show promise, but before we put them on our shelves in more than a
thousand stores (and growing), we want to ensure that you’ll realize the success you
expect. The panel believes that your product’s current design is too ornate and that the
material used would not appeal to the majority of our customers. Slight modification of
8: Writing Negative Messages
8-16
If you have questions or wish to apply for next year’s event, you can reach a
merchandising liaison at (770) 555-0988.
Sincerely,
Hilary Buchman
Hilary Buchman
Assistant to the Vice President, Sales
HB:kl
(LO 8.4; AACSB Tag: Written and oral communication)
problems:
1. The letter sets a negative tone in the first sentence (“regret”).
2. The writer fails to thank the student for applying.
the student.
4. The notification of rejection is undiplomatic and tactless.
5. The close is dismissive and misleading (“We’re sure”).
February 9, 2013
Ms. Chelsea Winter
228 Ravenswood Ct., #2B
Chicago, IL 60625
Dear Ms. Winter:
positions.
Although we have already filled the 25 intern positions, we will keep your résumé on file for future
openings. Thank you for thinking of Equifax. We wish you the best of luck in finding a summer
position.
8: Writing Negative Messages
8-17
Sincerely,
Yvonne Ward
Yvonne Ward
Human Resources
(LO 8.5; AACSB Tag: Written and oral communication)
EXPAND YOUR SKILLS
Business Communication Web Search to research an online source of advice about conveying
negative news in business messages. Students will summarize the content of this source in an
email to the instructor, or as a post for the class blog. In either case, the conventions for
CASE SOLUTIONS
On the following pages are suggested solutions for this chapter’s cases.
8-25. Message Strategies: Refusing Claims and Requests for Adjustment
To: JackSimmons11@gmail.com
From: KellyDolan@TechCases.com
Subject: Request for Reimbursement
Dear Mr. Simmons,
years.
Your message indicated that the damage to your phone was incurred when it was dropped into a
hog barn and crushed by a 900-pound boar. TechCases are designed to protect smartphones from
8: Writing Negative Messages
8-18
Sincerely,
Kelly Dolan
(LO 8.4; AACSB Tag: Written and oral communication)
8-26. Message Strategies: Rejecting Suggestions and Proposals; Communication Ethics:
Making Ethical Choices
Re: Product Review Suggestion
Dear Amar,
shoppers as possible.
However, I am uneasy about the way your last email might be interpreted. I wouldn’t want any
of our employees to think that writing false product reviews is how we want to do business. Our
ethically promote and market them.
Regards,
Jeremy
(LO 8.4; AACSB Tag: Ethical understanding and reasoning)
8-27. Message Strategies: Making Routine Negative Announcements
Tweet 1: P!nk’s concert tonight is cancelled due to health issues – P!nk is so sorry to disappoint
tickets bought online or via phone
(LO 8.5; AACSB Tag: Written and oral communication)
8: Writing Negative Messages
8-19
8-28. Message Strategies: Rejecting Suggestions and Proposals
Note: This message needs to be handled with some tact to maintain a positive working
To: walter.j@aetna.com
From: michael.starr@aetna.com
Subject: Your agency proposal
Hi Walter,
Without evidence to back up the assertion that Meyers & Partners has become unresponsive or
that it is too big to meet our needs, I won’t be able to take action on this matter. Moreover, the
would need to be clarified.
If you would like to submit a revised proposal, I would welcome your thoughts and reasoning.
Michael
(LO 8.4; AACSB Tag: Written and oral communication)
8-29. Message Strategies: Making Routine Negative Announcements
To: <All Employees>
Subject: Regarding the ‘Helping Our Hometown Grow’ program
Hello everyone,
pride for me personally, too.
All these reasons make it particularly difficult to announce that financial circumstances are
forcing us to cancel the program. We are still recovering from the recent recession, and we are
facing lower sales as well as increased competition. The only alternative to canceling the
8: Writing Negative Messages
8-20
a solid financial footing.
Thank you for your support.
Sincerely,
Janet Leigh
(LO 8.4; AACSB Tag: Written and oral communication)
8-30. Message Strategies: Making Negative Announcements
Note: Since this letter contains bad news, it’s best to be brief, using the indirect plan. Start with
a reminder of the situation (you’ve worked with the company for five years), the refusal, followed
by reasons and explanations. The letter should close courteously.
Mr. Jason Allred
Midwest Sparkleen
4000 S. Howell Ave.
Milwaukee, WI 53207
Dear Mr. Allred:
Six phone calls to remind workers to take care of spills and other messes
Three phone calls to remind workers not to leave toxic chemicals in public highways
Two phone calls to you to discuss the continual decline of service
The 11 instances cited above have given me cause for concern. However, last Thursday the
midnight until 8 A.M. Friday morning.
As a fellow business owner, you realize the importance of making sure that you can count on the
I appreciate your willingness to work with me to try and correct the past problems. Please let me
know if you have any questions.
Sincerely,
(LO 8.4; AACSB Tag: Written and oral communication)
