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Activities and Discussion Questions
Hocker: Interpersonal Conflict, 9e IM-27
© 2014 by McGraw-Hill Education. This is proprietary material solely for authorized instructor use. Not authorized for sale or distribution in any
manner. This document may not be copied, scanned, duplicated, forwarded, distributed, or posted on a website, in whole or part.
CHAPTER 5: Styles and Tactics
Activities and Discussion Questions
Conflict Styles (Rahim)
On the board, overhead, or in handouts, provide students with an incomplete grid representing
the five conflict styles identified by Rahim. Use the grid to review this perspective on styles and
fill in blanks as the missing information is supplied by students.
HI
LO
3. 5.
4.
1. 2.
LO HI
Have students begin by labeling the axes before identifying the styles. The way they place the
labels will determine which styles correspond with which number.
Ask the students which of the types would be considered WIN/WIN styles and which would be
WIN/LOSE. Ask if any would be considered LOSE/LOSE. Be sure to provide students with the
opportunity to explain why they believe one style might produce the perception that one
participant is destined to win and the other to lose. Encourage them to consider contexts in
which one style may invoke more than one sense of the conflict process.
Activities and Discussion Questions
Hocker: Interpersonal Conflict, 9e IM-28
© 2014 by McGraw-Hill Education. This is proprietary material solely for authorized instructor use. Not authorized for sale or distribution in any
manner. This document may not be copied, scanned, duplicated, forwarded, distributed, or posted on a website, in whole or part.
Conflict Style Inventories
Have students fill out and score a conflict styles inventory such as “How I Act in Conflicts” at
the end of this activity or Rahim’s conflict styles inventory available in the text. Once students
have scored their inventory and identified their primary conflict style, have them divide into
groups with others who share their style. (If there are fewer people in some groups than others,
that is ok.) If you want to have more equal-sized groups, have students move to the group
comprised of their second style).
NOTE: Students are likely to say things like “I’m a collaborator” or “I’m an avoider.” You can
use these comments as a discussion point later to remind them that conflict styles are fluid and
they have the choice to select a conflict style that is most relevant to the conflict at hand rather
than their favorite tool in the toolbox.
As groups, each team is to develop a list of three advantages and three disadvantages of their
conflict styles. Allow 5-7 minutes for the groups to construct their lists prior to hearing reports
to the class. Encourage class members to write down the responses of their peers. You can
facilitate this by writing their responses on the board or having a scribe from the class fulfill that
function as you facilitate the discussion.
Discussion Questions
1. In what ways are the advantages you experience disadvantages for others?
2. When might it be problematic for you to maintain your primary conflict style?
3. What happens when your perceptions of conflict style are challenged?
4. What does it mean to you to say that “I am a(n) ___(fill in style here)____?
5. How are conflict styles like tools in a toolbox? What tool do you overuse? Under-use?
What happens when you use a hammer when a crow bar would be better?
Activities and Discussion Questions
Hocker: Interpersonal Conflict, 9e IM-29
© 2014 by McGraw-Hill Education. This is proprietary material solely for authorized instructor use. Not authorized for sale or distribution in any
manner. This document may not be copied, scanned, duplicated, forwarded, distributed, or posted on a website, in whole or part.
How I Act In Conflicts
The proverbs listed below reflect traditional wisdom for resolving conflicts. These can be
thought of as descriptions of some of the different strategies for resolving conflicts. Read each
of the proverbs carefully. Using the scale given below, indicate how typical each proverb is of
your actions in a conflict.
5 = Very typical of the way I act in a conflict
4 = Frequently typical of the way I act in a conflict
3 = Sometimes typical of the way I act in a conflict
2 = Seldom typical of the way I act in a conflict
1 = Never typical of the way I act in a conflict
_____ 1. It is easier to refrain than retreat from a quarrel.
_____ 2. If you cannot make a person think as you do, make him or her do as you think.
_____ 3. Soft words win hearts.
_____ 4. You scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours.
_____ 5. Come now and let us reason together.
_____ 6. When two quarrel, the person who keeps silent is the most praiseworthy.
_____ 7. Might overcomes right.
_____ 8. Smooth words make smooth ways.
_____ 9. Better half a loaf than no bread at all.
_____ 10. Truth lies in knowledge, not in majority opinion.
_____ 11. He who fights and runs away lives to fight another day.
_____ 12. He hath conquered well that hath made his enemies flee.
_____ 13. Kill your enemies with kindness.
_____ 14. A fair exchange brings no quarrel.
_____ 15. No person has the final answer but every person has a piece to contribute.
_____ 16. Stay away from people who disagree with you.
_____ 17. Fields are won by those who believe in winning.
_____ 18. Kind words are worth much and cost little.
_____ 19. Tit for tat is fair play.
_____ 20. Only the person who is willing to give up his or her monopoly on truth can
ever profit from the truths that others hold.
_____ 21. Avoid quarrelsome people as they will only make your life miserable.
_____ 22. A person who will not flee will make others flee.
_____ 23. Soft words ensure harmony.
_____ 24. One gift for another makes good friends.
_____ 25. Bring your conflicts into the open and face them directly; only then will the
best solution ever be discovered.
_____ 26. The best way of handling conflicts is to avoid them.
_____ 27. Put your foot down where you mean to stand.
_____ 28. Gentleness will triumph over anger.
_____ 29. Getting part of what you want is better than not getting anything at all.
_____ 30. Frankness, honesty, and trust will move mountains.
_____ 31. There is nothing so important that you have to fight for it.
_____ 32. There are two kinds of people in the world, the winners and the losers.
_____ 33. When one hits you with a stone, hit him or her with a piece of cotton.
Activities and Discussion Questions
Hocker: Interpersonal Conflict, 9e IM-30
© 2014 by McGraw-Hill Education. This is proprietary material solely for authorized instructor use. Not authorized for sale or distribution in any
manner. This document may not be copied, scanned, duplicated, forwarded, distributed, or posted on a website, in whole or part.
_____ 34. When both people give in halfway, a fair settlement is achieved.
_____ 35. By digging and digging, the truth is discovered.
Activities and Discussion Questions
Hocker: Interpersonal Conflict, 9e IM-31
© 2014 by McGraw-Hill Education. This is proprietary material solely for authorized instructor use. Not authorized for sale or distribution in any
manner. This document may not be copied, scanned, duplicated, forwarded, distributed, or posted on a website, in whole or part.
Scoring
Add up your scores on the following questions.
Withdrawing Forcing Smoothing Compromising Confronting
(the Turtle) (the Shark) (the Teddy Bear) (the Fox) (the Owl)
Avoiding Dominating Obliging Compromising Integrating
_____ 1. _____ 2. _____ 3. _____ 4. _____ 5.
_____ 6. _____ 7. _____ 8. _____ 9. _____ 10.
_____ 11. _____ 12. _____ 13. _____ 14. _____ 15.
_____ 16. _____ 17. _____ 18. _____ 19. _____ 20.
_____ 21. _____ 22. _____ 23. _____ 24. _____ 25.
_____ 26. _____ 27. _____ 28. _____ 29. _____ 30.
_____ 31. _____ 32. _____ 33. _____ 34. _____ 35.
_____ Total _____ Total _____ Total _____ Total _____ Total
The higher the total score for each conflict strategy, the more frequently you tend to use that
strategy. The lower the total score is for each conflict strategy, the less frequently you tend to
use that strategy.
Source: Johnson, David W. Reaching Out, Interpersonal Effectiveness and Self Actualization.
2nd ed. New York: Prentice Hall, 1981.
Activities and Discussion Questions
Hocker: Interpersonal Conflict, 9e IM-32
© 2014 by McGraw-Hill Education. This is proprietary material solely for authorized instructor use. Not authorized for sale or distribution in any
manner. This document may not be copied, scanned, duplicated, forwarded, distributed, or posted on a website, in whole or part.
Is Competition Good or Bad?
Some people argue that competition is just “good clean fun!” while others suggest that it is
detrimental to self-esteem–especially if you lose. Have students discuss their perspectives on
competition using the following:
1. Take a few minutes to list all of the competitive experiences you would describe as FUN!
2. Turn your paper over and make a list of the competitive experiences you have had that were
definitely NOT fun.
Solicit responses from students about both lists. Then consider some of the following questions:
• What do you gain through competition?
• What do you miss out on as a result of even “fun” rivalries?
• How does competition build or tear down character?
• How do winning or losing help build character?
• How does self-esteem get established and maintained in conflict relationships in general?
What about when competitive conflict strategies are used consistently?
• Why might it be beneficial to bolster the esteem of the other party to the conflict? When
would you be willing to do so? How would you go about it?
• What does it mean to be a “good loser” or a “good winner?” What are the identity or face-
saving goals associated with winning and losing?
Activities and Discussion Questions
Hocker: Interpersonal Conflict, 9e IM-33
© 2014 by McGraw-Hill Education. This is proprietary material solely for authorized instructor use. Not authorized for sale or distribution in any
manner. This document may not be copied, scanned, duplicated, forwarded, distributed, or posted on a website, in whole or part.
Avoidance Strategies
1. Ask students how many of them are “avoiders?” You can ask generally, or use their scores
from the conflict inventory? If students still struggle with the concept, you can describe
scenarios where they have the choice to avoid or engage.
a. When dining at a nice restaurant, would you return a steak that was cooked
incorrectly?
b. If your roommate is eating the food you regularly purchase, would you bring it up to
her/him.
c. If you feel you were treated unfairly at work (or school), would you bring the issue up
to your employer/teacher?
2. Ask students, even those not identified as “avoiders” if there are appropriate times/situations
to avoid conflict. (benefits)
3. Ask students to identify situations when avoiding is NOT a good choice. (drawbacks)
4. Choose a popular film in which at least one character tends to avoid conflict. As the students
view the film, ask them to identify specific instances of avoidance tactics discussed in the
text (denial and equivocation, topic management, noncommittal remarks, and irreverent
remarks). Following the film clip, ask students to first identify what they saw, then discuss
and evaluate the efficacy of the different strategies.
5. As an alternative (or additional) exercise, ask students to develop their own dialogues to
demonstrate each of the different conflict codes associated with avoidance.
6. Conclude with overall analysis of the results (positive and negative) of avoiding conflict.
Activities and Discussion Questions
Hocker: Interpersonal Conflict, 9e IM-34
© 2014 by McGraw-Hill Education. This is proprietary material solely for authorized instructor use. Not authorized for sale or distribution in any
manner. This document may not be copied, scanned, duplicated, forwarded, distributed, or posted on a website, in whole or part.
Threatening Conversations
1. Review the material in the text regarding warnings and “threats?” (credibility, ability to
carry it out, significant consequence, etc.) Have students jot down threats that have been
issued to them and/or threats they have made to others.
2. Ask students to work in pairs to develop a role-play conversation that is designed to
demonstrate a threat, warning, promise or recommendation. Give the pairs 6-8 minutes to
create their role play and then get volunteers to present their conversations to the class. Do
not have them identify the nature of their conversation ahead of time.
3. Present the group examples. Ask the class to guess what type of communication is occurring.
What leads them to their conclusion? If there are differing opinions, tease those out. Finally,
ask the team to reveal their intended illustration in the role-play.
4. Use these role-plays to discuss how sometimes what someone intended as a warning feels
like a threat and how context and relationship influence our perceptions. You can also use
this role-play to review the elements of a conflict identified earlier in the text.
Additional discussion questions
1. What conflict “style” is often accompanied by threats?
2. What role does power play in making threats?
3. Are there situations where threats are appropriate?
4. How do threats affect the relationship between conflict parties?
Activities and Discussion Questions
Hocker: Interpersonal Conflict, 9e IM-35
© 2014 by McGraw-Hill Education. This is proprietary material solely for authorized instructor use. Not authorized for sale or distribution in any
manner. This document may not be copied, scanned, duplicated, forwarded, distributed, or posted on a website, in whole or part.
Journaling Ideas
1. Keep a journal for a week and notice which styles of conflict you use. Assess whether or
not the styles were effective. In retrospect, would any other style have worked as well,
perhaps better?
2. What styles of conflict do you notice around you? Do the styles vary from person to
person? What conflicts seem to spark the more adversarial styles? What conflicts seem
to be accompanied by cooperative styles?
3. Keep a journal for a week and notice what threats, if any, you notice around you, or those
made to you, or those you may make to others. What response(s) did the threats elicit?
How do the threats fit the criteria for “credible threats” in the text? What advice would
you give to a new student of conflict about threats?
