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Activities and Discussion Questions
Hocker: Interpersonal Conflict, 9e IM-19
© 2014 by McGraw-Hill Education. This is proprietary material solely for authorized instructor use. Not authorized for sale or distribution in any
manner. This document may not be copied, scanned, duplicated, forwarded, distributed, or posted on a website, in whole or part.
Chapter 4: Power—The Structure of Conflict
Activities and Discussion Questions
Note to Instructor: The following set of activities can be used individually, or in a series, to
develop more fully students’ understanding of the role power plays in conflict.
Perceptions of Power
1. Ask students to write down the three most powerful people they know and why they think
these individuals are powerful.
2. Go around the room and ask students to share their responses. Make a list for the whole class
to see.
3. Continue the class discussion by identifying themes.
a. Are the perceptions of power positive or negative?
b. What influence do these perceptions have on your approach to conflict? Your styles?
Your ability to communicate effectively?
4. Classify the “sources” of power, using Wilmot and Hocker’s RICE framework:
a. Resource Control
b. Interpersonal Linkages
c. Communication Skills
d. Expertise
5. Conclude the discussion by constructing some possible positive views about conflict.
Activities and Discussion Questions
Hocker: Interpersonal Conflict, 9e IM-20
© 2014 by McGraw-Hill Education. This is proprietary material solely for authorized instructor use. Not authorized for sale or distribution in any
manner. This document may not be copied, scanned, duplicated, forwarded, distributed, or posted on a website, in whole or part.
Power and Gender
1. Divide the class by gender into two circles.
a. Ask for comments on Chapter 4. What struck you as most interesting? Do you think
the chapter accurately reflects your experience, with regard to gender?
b. Ask each group to describe how they learned about power and their currencies as they
grew up? How did the boys learn about power when growing up (games,
competition, authority, etc.)? How did the girls learn about power (emotions, less
focus on competition, more on cooperation, etc.)?
c. Ask each group to identify what the power currencies are of “their” gender. What are
the power currencies of the opposite gender?
2. Reconvene the larger group.
a. Take time to discuss similarities and differences in your perspectives.
b. Discuss the influence of your gender on your perspective of power in conflicts. How
has your upbringing influenced your perceptions of power in general and of your own
power in particular?
c. What emerged as most important in your same-sex groups?
d. How much diversity was evident in your responses?
e. Do you feel powerful or powerless, in regard to your gender?
3. Divide the class into mixed-gender groups of 5-6 students.
a. Identify the power resources available to you (using RICE).
b. Is there a balance in your repertoire?
c. How do your power resources differ from relationship to relationship (i.e. friends,
family, work, other)?
4. Identify specific strategies to increase your power currencies.
a. Do you want more power?
b. What ethical considerations might you take as you develop your own power?
Activities and Discussion Questions
Hocker: Interpersonal Conflict, 9e IM-21
© 2014 by McGraw-Hill Education. This is proprietary material solely for authorized instructor use. Not authorized for sale or distribution in any
manner. This document may not be copied, scanned, duplicated, forwarded, distributed, or posted on a website, in whole or part.
Low Power Tactics: Destructive and Productive
1. Warm Up (optional): Ask students to recall or write about a conflict where they felt like they
were in a low-power position. Discuss what they did and how they felt.
2. Divide the class into groups of 4-5 students. Have the groups generate a list of “destructive
tactics” people use when they feel they are in a low-power position.
a. You can give them some examples to get started. (Lying, stealing, betraying a
confidence, name calling, belittling, cheating, undermining, getting even, etc.)
b. You can also challenge them to see if their group can come up with the
“dirtiest/worst” list.
3. Ask the groups to share their responses. Look for themes.
4. Discuss the effectiveness of these strategies.
a. What are the effects on the conflict?
b. What are the effects on the individuals and the relationship?
c. Did they work? Did you get what you need?
5. Reconvene the groups and ask students to generate a list of productive low-power tactics.
They may need help with this one. See the handout at the end of this section, titled
“Productive Low Power Tactics.”
6. Ask students to predict possible outcomes of using productive power tactics.
7. Ask students to identify at least three ways they will change future behavior regarding power
in conflicts. (i.e. What could you try that’s different?)
8. Identify ways to increase students’ currencies.
Activities and Discussion Questions
Hocker: Interpersonal Conflict, 9e IM-22
© 2014 by McGraw-Hill Education. This is proprietary material solely for authorized instructor use. Not authorized for sale or distribution in any
manner. This document may not be copied, scanned, duplicated, forwarded, distributed, or posted on a website, in whole or part.
Balancing Power
1. Ask students to review the section in the text regarding power imbalances.
2. Have students write about or discuss real-life situations where power was unequally
distributed (These can be from their own experiences or those of other people they know).
3. Using the guidelines in Chapter 4, have students generate a list of ways to balance power in
such situations.
a. Special Note to Instructor: Make sure that if students discuss balancing power in an
abusive relationship that you recommend the low-power party to be protected before
engaging in a power-balancing act. (For example, someone who is being hit in a
relationship may need to have a third party present—personal or professional).
b. Possibilities (add these to the list the class generates):
i. Don’t use your power just because you can.
ii. Don’t use all the power you have.
iii. Give some of your power away.
iv. Don’t “jump chain” if you can help it.
v. Seek out a third party.
c. You can guide this discussion using the tactics Wilmot and Hocker suggest:
i. Restraint
ii. Focus on Interdependence
iii. Calm Persistence
iv. Active Engagement
v. Empowerment of Low-Power People by High-Power People
vi. Metacommunication
Activities and Discussion Questions
Hocker: Interpersonal Conflict, 9e IM-23
© 2014 by McGraw-Hill Education. This is proprietary material solely for authorized instructor use. Not authorized for sale or distribution in any
manner. This document may not be copied, scanned, duplicated, forwarded, distributed, or posted on a website, in whole or part.
Sample Dialogue: Scenario
After reading the conversations, (1) analyze the role power plays in this relationship; (2) identify
Mia’s currencies; (3) identify Steve’s currencies; and (4) suggest ways the power might be better
balanced.
Background
Steve and Mia have been married for ten years and have two children. Before they had kids,
both Steve and Mia worked full-time. Now they have a five-year-old daughter and a two-year-
old son. Steve works part-time, to help take care of the kids, and Mia’s salary is high enough for
them to manage. The following conversations are just examples of the many they’ve had about
money.
“POWER ISN’T ALWAYS PRETTY”
Conversation #1 (At a party, in front of their friends)
Mia: We had the best vacation in Mexico. That’s the most relaxed
I’ve been in a long time.
Steve: Are you kidding me? You were so worried about spending too
much money. I can’t believe you just said that.
Mia: I wasn’t worrying about money; I just didn’t want you to overdo
it. It’s not like we have tons of cash just lying around.
Steve: I just wish you were willing to spend more money when we’re on
vacation. That’s when you’re supposed to have fun! I didn’t want to
worry about the cost of every little thing.
Mia: Well, you don’t have to worry about it: I’m the one who pays the
bills.
Steve: $5000 is not that much to spend on a vacation.
Mia: Easy for you to say. It would take you a year to save up that
much money, and you’re willing to blow it in a week.
Steve: That’s not true. I work plenty. Besides, I thought you wanted
me to be around more with the kids. I can’t make a ton of money and
do that, too.
Conversation #2 (Alone at their home)
Mia: I see you bought Caitlin more video games today.
Steve: Yeah, they’re brand new—they just came out today.
Mia: I wish you’d check with me before you buy that much stuff. Our
cash flow is kind of low right now.
Activities and Discussion Questions
Hocker: Interpersonal Conflict, 9e IM-24
© 2014 by McGraw-Hill Education. This is proprietary material solely for authorized instructor use. Not authorized for sale or distribution in any
manner. This document may not be copied, scanned, duplicated, forwarded, distributed, or posted on a website, in whole or part.
Steve: It’s not that much. Besides, you’re getting that extra check
this week. I figured that would cover it.
Mia: Well, we should have at least discussed it. These are decisions
we should make together.
Steve: You mean I need to get your permission before I do anything. I
feel like I’m asking for allowance or something. I should be able to
make financial decisions on my own.
Mia: You can, but we at least need to talk about it beforehand.
Instead, you buy a bunch of stuff and you don’t even see if we have
enough in our checking account.
Steve: Well, I can’t stand not having any say over how the money gets
spent. Just because you make more than I do doesn’t mean that I don’t
get to decide once in a while.
Mia: And I don’t like having all the pressure to make all that money.
It’s not like it’s the greatest job in the world. I wouldn’t keep it
except we (mostly you) spend too much, so I stay.
Steve: I could start working more.
Mia: No, we’re not doing that.
Steve: You can’t have it both ways?
Mia: What both ways? All I am is a paycheck to you, and you’re just
the person who spends it.
Activities and Discussion Questions
Hocker: Interpersonal Conflict, 9e IM-25
© 2014 by McGraw-Hill Education. This is proprietary material solely for authorized instructor use. Not authorized for sale or distribution in any
manner. This document may not be copied, scanned, duplicated, forwarded, distributed, or posted on a website, in whole or part.
Productive Low Power Tactics
William Wilmot, Collaboration Institute
• Validate the other's worth
• Direct involvement of the other person
• Use "I" statements
• Acknowledge the other's expertise and contributions
• Involve and share ownership with the other person
• Recognize the other person feels powerless too
• Expose why and how I feel powerless and what effect that has on me
• Ask what the other perceives my power is over him or her
• Try to shift the balance of power
• Build up the person
• Use the same currency the other is using
• Change the power or style I'm lacking
• Identify what I need to acquire to gain power
• Ask a high powered person what they want from me that he or she isn’t getting
• Hold a discussion with him or her on how to make the problem better
• Persuade him or her to value your currency
• Take a look at my power--see how I understand it
• Let them know my weaknesses
• Ally with power, a trusted person
• Gain more information
• Graduate, announce escalation
• Documentation: keep track of what is being done
• Be optimistic and learn that there may be options, etc.
*This handout comes from Bill Wilmot’s resources located on his website for the Collaboration
Institute (www.collaborationinstitute.com). Students can use it to analyze conflicts in the book
and/or their interpersonal conflicts. Additionally, the project Changing Lanes (Part 3 of this
manual) references “low power moves,” and this handout is a good place to start. Finally, this
works well in the “Read Around/Coaching” activity (Chapter 9 in this manual).
Activities and Discussion Questions
Hocker: Interpersonal Conflict, 9e IM-26
© 2014 by McGraw-Hill Education. This is proprietary material solely for authorized instructor use. Not authorized for sale or distribution in any
manner. This document may not be copied, scanned, duplicated, forwarded, distributed, or posted on a website, in whole or part.
Journaling Ideas
1. Write about how you feel about “power.” Talk about times you’ve used your power and
when those around you have used theirs. How did you feel in each situation?
2. Review the concept of “metacommunication.” Keep a journal for a week and write down
instances where you witness or experience this behavior. Be specific. Did the
metacommunication help/hurt the situation and/or the relationship?
3. Think of a time when you felt very “low power.” How did you respond? What advice
from the text might have helped you? Conversely, think of a time when you felt very
“high power.” How did this influence your interaction with the other person? What
advice, if any, could you use from the text, the next time you are in a “high power”
situation?
