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Chapter 6: Interpersonal Communication
Chapter Objectives and Integrator Guide
After reading and thinking about this chapter, students should be able to meet the
following objectives.
Objectives
1. Define interpersonal communication.
2. Define interpersonal relationships.
Key term: interpersonal relationships
3. Explain the importance of interpersonal relationships.
Key terms: complimentary relationships, symmetrical relationships
4. Describe how self-disclosure affects relationships.
Key term: self-disclosure
5. Describe friendships and how they have changed.
6. Explain the importance of cross-cultural relationships.
7. Name and explain the three stages in interpersonal relationships.
Key terms: relational development, relational maintenance, dialectic, contradictions,
relational deterioration, proximity, attractiveness, responsiveness, similarity,
complementarity, hurtful messages, deceptive communication, aggressiveness,
argumentativeness, defensiveness
8. Explain a motive for initiating, maintaining, and terminating relationships.
9. Name three essential interpersonal communication behaviors.
Key terms: compliance-gaining, compliance-resisting, personal idioms, rituals,
bargaining, behavioral flexibility
10. Describe how bargaining and behavioral flexibility can be used to improve interpersonal
communication skills.
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Activities
Activity 6.1 Characteristics of a Close Relationship
Objectives
Students should be able to recognize the elements that constitute an effective interpersonal
relationship; to discuss how empathic and active listening affect a relationship; to describe
the role of communication in a relationship; and to indicate how the self, openness, and the
satisfaction of needs help to establish intimacy.
Procedure
Each student should bring to class a list of twenty characteristics of an intimate relationship.
To facilitate thinking about this project, ask the students, “How do you know when you have
an intimate relationship with someone? What is there in your behavior, in the other person’s
behavior, and in your attitudes, feelings, and communication that indicates that you are close
friends?”
In class, have the students rank the items on their lists. Then divide the students into groups
of four or five. Each group should agree on a list of 10 items, ranked in order of their
importance in an intimate relationship. Have one person from each group write the group’s
final list of 10 items on the board, and have the class compare lists.
Class Discussion
The group lists usually contain some common elements—for example, “trust,” “can discuss
any subject,” “listens to me,” and “there can be long silences without being uncomfortable.”
Have the students identify the common items and relate them to self-disclosure and empathy,
as well as to trust, defensiveness, listening, respect, and supportiveness. The students should
also discuss how the characteristics relate to the ease with which they communicate and to
the amount, style, and content of the communication.
Applications
This activity makes students aware of the ideal picture they have of an intimate relationship.
Often an intimate relationship is the standard by which other relationships are judged. The
students should realize the importance of communication to their own experiences and to the
attainment of close relationships. The concepts of self, verbal symbols, and nonverbal
behavior are especially relevant to understanding the implications of this activity.
Activity 6.2 Interpersonal Relationships in Pop Culture
Objective
Students should be able to observe and integrate the principles that lead to becoming an
effective interpersonal communicator.
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Procedure
Discuss how popular culture and films or television portray interpersonal relationships. Some
suggestions could include Good Will Hunting, Dead Poets Society, Scandal, Easy A, or The
Breakfast Club. As students view each, they should note any of the relevant principles that
were discussed in the text. For instance, students may want to assess episodes of constructive
and destructive conflict and how relationships were affected by that conflict. Or students may
want to identify accounts of behavioral flexibility and the impact on relationships. Instruct
students to note specific dialogue to represent concepts discussed. For shorter applications
you could use episodes of a show such as Grey’s Anatomy or 30 Rock, or a reality TV show,
such as The Amazing Race.
Class Discussion
Encourage all students to take part in this discussion. Many films and sitcoms are excellent
sources. Discussion should emphasize the utility of engaging in the more competent
interpersonal communication behavior/skills that lead to quality relationships. The instructor
should facilitate a discussion on student experiences that may parallel events in the movie
or show.
Applications
Witnessing pragmatic examples of information from this chapter provides students with a
necessary framework from which to draw real-life examples of various concepts under study.
Further, a film or television show can aid in examining how others have responded in similar
situations.
Activity 6.3 Johari Window
One way to understand the influence of others on our self-concept is through the Johari
window. It is a model of self-disclosure that indicates the proportion of information about
ourselves that is known and/or unknown to ourselves, to others, or to both. The Johari
window is a square divided into four areas or quadrants (see below).
In the Johari window, the open self in the first quadrant represents information about
yourself known both to you and to others. Included in this quadrant might be your name,
nickname, gender, age, and religious affiliation or membership.
The second quadrant, the blind self, consists of information known to others but not known
to you. Included here would be your behaviors of which you are unaware, such as blinking
frequently when you feel threatened, interrupting others when they talk to you, or bragging
about your grade point average. Also included in this quadrant are occurrences no one has
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cheated on a test. Or you might have done something about which you are proud—made the
Dean’s list, received a scholarship, or were chosen for an important award.
The unknown self in the fourth quadrant includes information that no one—neither you nor
anyone else—knows. Many traditional college students do not know if they will marry or if
they will have children in the future. People who win the lottery in the future don’t know that
they will be rich, and some people who are wealthy today don’t know that they will die poor.
Grandma Jill became a famous painter even though she did not begin painting until she was
older than most people are when they retire. Our lives are a script with characters and plot
changes of which we are unaware. Until they are played out, these potentialities remain part
of our unknown selves.
The Johari Window
Known to self Not known to self
Known
to others
Open self
Blind self
Not
known
to others
Hidden self
Unknown self
An examination of the Johari window allows us to see why others may respond to us
differently than we expect them to. For example, when your friends and family fail to point
out your mistakes due to their fear of arousing your heated temper, this may confuse you—
particularly if you consider yourself a mild-mannered individual. This may well be a case of
responding to information in the blind area of your self. On the other hand, these same people
may not understand your overly cautious behavior while driving because you never told them
of a near collision with a semitrailer that occurred while you were driving alone—an aspect
of your hidden self.
Objectives
Students should be able to identify the concepts of the Johari window model of self-
disclosure; to apply the Johari window to their own behavior; to discuss the process nature of
self-disclosure; and to explain the factors that influence the level of self-disclosure in a
relationship.
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Procedure
After discussing the Johari window and ascertaining that the students understand the meaning
of each quadrant, have each student write numbers from 1 to 5 on a piece of paper. The
students should leave enough room by each number to draw a Johari window model for each
of the following relationships:
1. Mother or maternal figure
2. Father or father figure
3. Best male friend
4. Best female friend
5. Father while you were in high school
When the students have finished drawing a separate Johari window for each relationship,
have them compare the hidden areas with the open areas in each relationship. By a show of
hands, determine how many students have a larger open area than hidden area for each of the
five persons on the list. Also, compare the open areas between persons; for example, mother
figure versus father figure, best male friend versus best female friend, father figure now
versus father figure in high school. Put all of the tallies on the board so that the comparisons
are easy to visualize.
Class Discussion
After the comparisons have been made, the students should be able to identify patterns in
their own and in their classmates’ self-disclosure. They should discover that self-disclosure
(indicated by the relative proportion of the open to the hidden area in the Johari window)
varies with the intimacy of the relationship, the length of the relationship, and the sex of the
individuals involved. Usually, the students indicate that they are more open with their
mothers than with their fathers, more open with female friends than with male friends, and
more open with their fathers now than they were during their adolescent years in high school.
However, the specific findings are not as important as the conclusions about the factors that
influence self-disclosure.
Applications
This activity demonstrates the factors that hamper or facilitate self-disclosure—for example,
sex, length of the relationship, intimacy of the relationship, and time. It may be appropriate to
examine the nature of self-concept and self-esteem to explain why we may be more willing
to disclose ourselves to some people than to others.
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Activity 6.4 Self-Disclosure Inventory
Objectives
Students should be able to recognize their own behavior during self-disclosure; to state the
reason for disclosing or not disclosing specific types of information; to list the factors that
affect self-disclosure; to compare their own behavior during self-disclosure with that of their
classmates; and to discuss the effect of trust and risk on self-disclosure.
Procedure
Have each student complete the “Self-Disclosure Inventory” that follows on the next page.
When everyone has finished the inventory, have the students indicate by a show of hands the
students usually conclude that information most closely associated with their self-esteem or
considered taboo is disclosed only to intimate friends whom they trust.
The discussion should then proceed to the nature of the risk, specifically: What are we
risking when we disclose ourselves? How do we decide which people we can trust? What
social sanctions inhibit our discussion of taboo topics? Why is some information risky for us
Applications
This activity should help students become aware of their personal tendencies toward self–
disclosure. It also indicates the factors that influence the appropriateness of the level of self-
disclosure and is helpful in establishing concepts of an open and supportive relationship.
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Self-Disclosure Inventory
Directions: Working alone, label each of statement according to the following scale:
L (low risk): You believe it is appropriate to disclose this information to almost any person.
M (moderate risk): You believe it is appropriate to disclose this information to persons you know
pretty well and with whom you have already established a friendship.
H (high risk): You would disclose this information only to those persons you most trust or to
your most intimate friends and relatives.
X (secret): You would disclose this information to no one.
Your rating should reflect what you normally do, rather than what you think is appropriate or
what social norms require.
______ 1. Your hobbies, or how you prefer to spend your spare time
______ 2. Your musical preferences and dislikes
______ 3. Your educational background and your feelings about it
______ 4. Your views about politics, the presidency, and foreign and domestic policies
______ 5. Your religious views and practices
______ 6. The habits and reactions in which you take pride
______ 7. The unhappiest moment of your life, described in detail
______ 8. The things you have most regretted doing, and why
______ 9. Your unfulfilled wishes and dreams
______ 10. Your sex life
______ 11. The degree to which you are satisfied with your career plans and your reasons
for making these plans
______ 12. Your views on the way a husband and wife should behave in marriage
______ 13. The features of your appearance you are most displeased with and would like
to change
______ 14. The person you most resent, and why
______ 15. What you do (if anything) to stay fit
______ 16. The happiest occasion in your life, described in detail
______ 17. The persons with whom you have been sexually intimate and the circumstances
of your relationship with them
______ 18. Your marks in high school and your current marks
______ 19. The things that bother you about yourself, and why
______ 20. Your most embarrassing moment, described in detail
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Activity 6.5 Group Bragging
Objectives
Students should be able to discuss their feelings when disclosing positive information about
themselves; to state the reasons why people are uncomfortable about disclosing positive
information; and to recognize their own responses to positive evaluations from others.
Procedures
Divide the students into groups of four or five. Have group members sit in a circle, facing
each other. In turn, each student should make one positive statement about him- or herself. It
may be some accomplishment, some positive self-image, or any other information the student
regards as positive. The procedure should be repeated until each group member has made
three positive comments. Discuss the exercise as a class.
After class discussion, have the students return to their groups and vary the exercise. This
time, they are to make positive comments about each other. The students should focus on one
person in a group at a time, and each group member should make one positive comment
about that person.
Class Discussion
In discussing the first part of this activity, the students should identify the specific areas of
their self-images that were the topics of the statements. Did the comments tend to be
primarily about physical, personality, or role components of their self-images? If specific
actions were described, what did they reflect about the students’ self-image? The students
usually find that a large proportion of their comments about themselves had to do with their
personalities or with the attainment of goals related to their roles. The students should also
describe their feelings and nonverbal behavior as they self-disclosed. Eye contact and hand
movement are obvious nonverbal behavior that becomes especially noticeable during self-
disclosure and indicates the comfort of the self-disclosing person.
In discussing the second part of this activity, the students should again describe their feelings
and nonverbal behavior as they received compliments from others. They should compare the
feelings that they had when they received positive evaluations of themselves with the
feelings that they had when making positive evaluations of others. It is also interesting to
compare the topics of the compliments of others with the areas the students initially bragged
about.
Finally, the discussions should identify the factors that hamper positive self-disclosure and
the effect that positive self-disclosure has on our communication and our self-concepts.
Applications
This activity illustrates the ways in which positive self-disclosure affects our
communication with others. It gives the students a chance to explore their own behavior
during self-disclosure and to observe the behavior of others as they self-disclose. The activity
is especially effective when used in conjunction with the “Word Association” activity
(activity 3.4). The positive statements are primarily supportive and can therefore be used to
illustrate connotative meaning as it relates to self-perception.
Activity 6.6 You Talk Too Much
Objective
Students should be able to recognize the potential consequences of inappropriate self-
disclosure in varying circumstances.
Procedure
Before undertaking this activity, class discussion should focus on student experiences with
individuals who talk about themselves all the time. Class interaction should center around the
inappropriate timing, topics, and intimacies that these individuals share with others.
Divide the class into two groups and brainstorm situations that illustrate the aforementioned
and role-play those situations to the class. Suggested situations include a job interview, a
hitchhiker being picked up, and standing in line in a grocery store.
Class Discussion
Class discussion should center on the potential risks inherent in inappropriate self-disclosure
and how appropriate self-disclosure can facilitate each situation. Does an over-disclosure
ever reap valuable relationships? Can inappropriate self-disclosure lead to a meaningful
relationship? How does the context impact the amount and type of self-disclosure? Cite
examples.
Applications
Students will have a better understanding of when to self-disclose and when too much self-
disclosure can lead to relational decay. Further, this activity allows students to examine their
self-disclosure episodes and ascertain the possible shortcomings of the times when they
engaged in inappropriate self-disclosure.
Activity 6.7 Communication Roles
Objectives
This activity should help students become aware of their personal tendencies toward
self-disclosure. It also indicates the factors that influence the appropriateness of the level of
self-disclosure and is helpful in establishing concepts of an open and supportive relationship.
Procedures
Divide the class into manageable groups of five or six. Indicate that each group is to create
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personalities that are realistic, not humorous and entertaining. The group should determine
the names of the individuals in their groups together but should break up into subgroups to
create the individuals separately. Thus, three members of the group will develop the
personality of one person in the relationship and the other members of the group will develop
the personality of the other person in the relationship. In the end they should do the
1. Create two names for the members of the relationship.
2. Select five or six personality characteristics that reflect these individuals.
3. Develop a communication history for these individuals that include these aspects:
a. Family rules pertaining to topics of discussion
4. Develop a situation in which the two will meet.
Periodically, as your class meets throughout the quarter/semester, you can ask the group to
role-play conversations that would occur at various stages of a relationship. These would
occur at points during the quarter where certain concepts have been discussed. For example,
after a discussion of active listening you could use the fictitious couples in a listening
exercise. The following list of situations are offered as examples of what has been done with
this exercise. There is a lot of potential for actual practice of communication skills.
During the role-plays, the individuals who volunteer to enact the roles should consult with
the other members of the group if they are stuck and do not know what to say. For example,
if John is enacting the role of Gary and does not know how Gary would respond to a
question, John should consult with the other group members who helped create Gary.
All group members should frequently refer to the communication history that was developed.
1. Acquaintanceship. Two members of the group role-play the couple meeting each
other. The conversation should include typical acquaintance conversation. The
intimacy should be fairly superficial and the number of topics discussed limited.
2. Dating. In this situation, indicate that the couple has been acquainted for some time
and one or both of them are interested in developing a more permanent relationship.
They sit down to have a conversation after an evening out. What do they say? How
do they imply they want to have a more intimate relationship?
3. Conflict. Introduce a conflict to the couple. Choose one of the following conflicts or
create your own. The couple should role-play the resolution of the conflict. This
should be done after a discussion of conflict resolution in the class.
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Conflict Areas:
Love
• One person does not express his or her “love” to the satisfaction of the other.
• One person dated behind the other’s back.
• One partner is not willing to spend enough time with the other.
• One person is more insecure than the other and is constantly apologizing to the other:
“I hope this won’t cause any problems.”
“If we are spending too much time together, I’ll understand if…”
“If my behavior bothers you, I’ll change…”
Friendship
• One partner revealed private, intimate information about the other to third parties.
• One partner lied to the other.
• One partner is harming the relationship by using the friendship as a reason to obtain
favors.
Sexual
• Awkward feelings arise the next morning, and one partner is insensitive to the other.
• One partner did not take into consideration the feelings, wants, and needs of the other.
Task Oriented
• One partner is treating the other as if he or she were stupid and does not know
anything.
• One person dominates when that is not the agreed-upon arrangement.
• One person is not living up to the expectations of the other.
Unfriendliness
• One person calls the other names behind his or her back.
• One spreads rumors about the other.
Class Discussion
This is a very difficult assignment for young students. They resist taking on the roles of other
people. This would probably not be conducive for dyads. It has more potential in groups,
since no one individual in the group has to be completely responsible for the role. They can
take turns with the roles. After each enactment the discussion should focus on the rules.
Based on the history you created for your couple, why did they communicate the way they
did? How do we reduce uncertainty about the rules that others have for communication? How
did you feel having to take on the role of someone else? Why would one feel that way? What
would make it easier to play roles?
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Applications
Students recognize that this activity encompasses several of the issues to be discussed in
groups. Further, this activity also illustrates information relevant to empathy.
Thanks to R. Jeffrey Ringer
St. Cloud State University
Activity 6.8 Communicating Friendship
Objectives
Students should be able to understand how they communicate friendship to others; and to
identify areas of friendship communication they would like to improve.
Procedure
Duplicate and distribute to students the “Communicating Friendship” scale below. Ask them
to complete it before the next class period and write a five-paragraph essay answering the
questions at the bottom of the scale.
Communicating Friendship
Do you communicate your friendship to others? Would others agree that you are a good friend?
Write down the names of three or four friends in the left-hand column. Rate yourself on a
scale—1 = superior, 2 = excellent, 3 = good, 4 = fair, to 5 = poor—for each of the characteristics
in terms of how well you believe you demonstrate that particular quality of friendship to others.
If you wish, you can contact the friends whose names you listed and check your perceptions with
them. How closely do your perceptions agree?
Friend’s
name
Avail-
ability
Caring
Honesty
Confi-
dentiality
Loyalty
Under-
standing
Empathy
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Class Discussion
Are you surprised by any of the responses? When you analyze the way you communicate
your friendship to others, do you reach any new conclusions? Do you find that there are
general areas of friendship that you do not communicate to those persons whom you identify
as friends? Can you make improvements in your communication patterns to your friends?
Why do you feel you are able to communicate some of these qualities and not others? Do
your friends reciprocate your behavior? In other words, if you show little understanding and
empathy, do you find that they do not demonstrate these qualities either? Or do you find that
you are particularly negligent at one of these qualities, while your friends are very good at
them? For example, you are not good about keeping confidences, but your friends maintain a
high level of confidentiality. Do you feel you can improve your ability to communicate
friendship? In what specific ways?
Applications
This activity promotes self-improvement and can be related to the material on self-
awareness. This activity also draws from skills learned in previous chapters.
Activity 6.9 Sexual Stereotypes
Objectives
Students should be able to identify specific behavior and characteristics associated with
males and females; to discuss the validity of these stereotyped characteristics; and to indicate
how their stereotyped perception influences their behavior.
Procedure
After a general discussion of stereotypes, divide the students into two groups: males in one
group and females in the other. This activity is more effective when there are approximately
equal numbers of males and females. Tell each group to compose a list of the likable
behaviors, characteristics, attitudes, and expectations of the other group and another list of
what they dislike about the other group. Each list should contain illustrative examples. After
approximately fifteen minutes, the groups should face each other to read their lists and cite
their examples. While one group is reading, the other group may not respond.
Class Discussion
After both groups have spoken, permit free discussion. You should not participate in the
discussion unless necessary. After a few minutes, the students usually conclude that their lists
are stereotypes that don’t really reflect their attitudes or their behavior toward the opposite
sex. At this point, ask specific questions about the students’ behavior toward the opposite
sex. For example, how many women have initiated a first date with a man? How do the men
feel about having the woman pay for the check? Do the men feel that they could succeed
over a woman in most competitive situations?
Applications
This activity explores the nature of stereotypes and the influences that stereotypes have on
our communication and our interpersonal relationships. The activity can lead into a
discussion of self-concept and roles and can also be used to introduce material about
predicting and adapting to the behavior and expectations of others.
Activity 6.10 Mediated Family Relations
Objective
The students should be able to recognize and define elements of family communication
through viewing of movies.
Procedure
This activity will take more than one class period. Have students view a movie that utilizes
family relationships as one of its major themes. During the viewing, have the students answer
the following questions about the movie. This particular guide uses the movie Ordinary
People.
Ordinary People: Family Relationship Communication
1. What is your initial impression of the family relationship?
2. What is your initial view of communication in the family?
3. Early in the movie how would you describe the status of Cal and Beth’s relationship?
4. When does it change?
5. How does it change?
6. What communication patterns do you see in this family?
7. At the party how did you perceive Cal’s disclosure about Con seeing a psychiatrist?
8. What is significant in Beth and Con’s talk in the backyard?
9. How does Con feel about his family relationship?
10. Where does Beth get her notions about the family?
11. How do our relationships affect us?
12. How do you see nonverbal communication affecting this family?
13. Why does Con feel as he does about his mother?
14. What are Beth’s concerns about the family?
15. How could this family improve its communication?
16. What is the future status of this family? Why do you think this?
Class Discussion
After viewing the movie, use the movie guide as a probe for discussion. Discuss the themes,
rituals, and images that were expressed in the movie. How did these influence family
satisfaction? What changes could improve this family’s communication?
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Applications
This activity increases the students’ understanding of family rituals, images, and themes. It
also connects communication throughout the semester by addressing self-image,
interpersonal relationships, nonverbal communication, perception, and self-disclosure.
Special thanks to Melissa L. Beall
University of Northern Iowa
Activity 6.11 Communicative Behaviors
Objective
Students should be able to recognize the different communicative behaviors within a family
structure.
Procedure
Divide the class into groups of four or five students. Have each group develop a group
definition of family gathered from their own experiences and observations. Ask that they set
criteria for what constitutes a family and how they would determine if a family was
functioning positively or negatively. Then have them view a videotape of a family sitcom
(Modern Family is a very good example), and have them look for their group-established
criteria for family. After viewing the video, the groups should reconvene and discuss how the
family depicted in the video enacted or contradicted some of the criteria developed in the
preliminary discussion.
Class Discussion
Ask the students how their definition of family compared to the family they viewed on the
video and how the criteria resembled or differed from the communicative behaviors of family
satisfaction in the text. What examples did they witness that led to family satisfaction from
the video? Can they think of examples from their own personal lives that have occurred that
reflect family satisfaction? Were there instances in the video where a family member could
have changed a behavior to increase family satisfaction? Provide specific examples. Why is
family satisfaction important to the individual?
Activity 6.12 Family Stories
Objective
Students should be able to recognize and understand how family rituals help to create family
satisfaction and maintain unity throughout generations.
Procedure
Students are to collect a family story from a parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle, cousin, etc., that
is important to the storyteller and that they are willing to have the student share with his or
her class. This story may be about an important event in the life of that person or another
family member who is not present; it may be about a special holiday, a special tradition, a
humorous event, etc. Students should try their best to capture this story in its original context
from the storyteller (as close to word for word as possible). The collected story should
include the following information:
• The original source of the story if different from the storyteller
• Any particular rules or conventions regarding the time, place, or situation where the
story is usually told.
• Special effects the storyteller used in relating the story—the dramatic behavior, for
example, accompanying “I was a big tree” (storyteller stands up and reaches high into
the air)
• Significance of the story; the reason it was shared
Divide the class into groups of four to six and have each student share his or her story with
the rest of the group. Those students listening to a story should ask questions about the story,
the situation, etc. What do they see as the importance of this story?
Class Discussion
Bring the class together as a whole and discuss how the family stories they shared reflected
family rituals of each family. Discuss what kind of traditional rituals were discussed, how
these rituals began, if when collecting their stories they found that the storyteller continued to
engage in other stories, and how the sharing of family stories helps to develop family
satisfaction.
Applications
This activity illustrates the way that families share meaning through rituals. It also can
involve discussion of nonverbal communication, self-disclosure, interpersonal relationships,
and overall communication patterns.
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Activity 6.13 Improving Conversational Skills
Objectives
Students should be able to identify the roles self-disclosure, empathic listening, and differing
perceptions play in conversations; to identify ways to improve verbal encoding; and to
specify ways to adjust conversations for different conversational partners.
Procedure
Duplicate and distribute to students the conversation and instructions on the following pages.
This activity can be used as either a homework assignment or to promote group discussion.
Students should analyze the conversation and suggest ways to improve it.
Class Discussion
Students should discuss the role that self-disclosure, empathic listening, and differing
perceptions played in this conversation. Students should illustrate how Robin and Tim did or
did not demonstrate each of these characteristics. Then students should discuss how they
would improve the conversation.
Applications
This activity offers students an opportunity to apply their knowledge of communication skills
to a situation. They should draw on their knowledge of interpersonal relationships and the
skills they learned in previous chapters.
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Improving Conversational Skills
We can improve our conversational skills with our friends. In the conversation that follows, a
man and a woman who are friends are having a disagreement. After you have read the dialogue,
analyze how this conversation could have been improved. The questions at the end of the
conversation will direct your consideration.
Robin and Tim met on campus and are walking back to the dormitories together.
Tim: Oh, him. Boy, does he have a funny running style.
Robin: What do you mean? I think he looks pretty good.
Tim: I’m on the track team and I run 10 miles almost every day, and I think he runs
funny. Anyway, what makes you such an expert on running?
Robin: Well, I started running last week and my running form is a lot like that man’s
style. My friends have told me that I run with perfect form.
Tim: If you run with such perfect form, why don’t you tell me what it is?
Robin: I just run perfect. I can’t explain it.
Tim: Okay, tell me how do you step down, do you go heel-toe or toe-heel?
Robin: I don’t know. I just put one foot ahead of the other. It doesn’t make any
difference, does it?
Tim: It most certainly does! If you always run on your toes for long distances, you
could strain your Achilles tendon and you could also damage your calf muscles.
Robin: Well, is that all there is to know about running?
Tim: No, there’s a lot more, like how do your feet land with each step.
Robin: If you know so much about running, why don’t you tell me more?
Tim: Okay. Did you know that the way you hold your arms and hands is very important
to the kind of runner you could become?
Robin: I know that. My friends told me to move my arms as fast as I could and to hold
my hands in tightly clenched fists. It makes me feel like I’m moving faster.
Tim: Who are these friends of yours?
Robin: Some people who live on the same dorm floor.
Tim: They sure don’t know anything about running. First of all, you don’t move your
arms fast, you move them in rhythmic motion with your body. Also, you never
move your arms across your body; you move each arm at your side and point
them straight ahead. That’s a typical woman for you—listening to everything
some jerk tells you. Women get something in their minds and nothing you can say
Robin: I’ve already lost five pounds in a little over a week.
Tim: That’s really good, Robin, but I don’t have time to get into a long conversation on
women and their weight problems with you. I’ve got to have lunch. I’ll walk you
home from class tomorrow, though.
Robin: Don’t bother.
Did the two persons have differing perceptions? How did these perceptions affect their
conversation?
Did both of the communicators demonstrate active listening?
Rewrite the dialogue in a manner that you believe is realistic for two persons who are attempting
to develop their friendship.