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Module 06 - You-Attitude
Part 3:
Appendix 6-A: A Poor Example of You-Attitude
December 11, 2002
Ms. Carol McFarland
Rollins Equipment Corporation
850 Parkway Exchange
Columbus, Ohio 43240
Dear Ms. McFarland:
We are now ready to issue a check to Rollins Equipment in the amount
of $14,207.02. Upon our release of said check, you will deliver to me
releases of mechanic’s liens in the amounts of $14,207.02 and
$13,155.27.
Before we can release the check, we must be satisfied that the releases
are in proper form. We must insist that we be provided with a stamped
original of the lien indicating the document number in the appropriate
district court where it is filed. Also, either the releases must be executed
by an officer of Rollins Equipment, or we must be provided with a letter
from an officer of Rollins Equipment authorizing another individual to
execute the release.
Please contact the undersigned so that we can set up an appointment for
this transaction.
Sincerely,
K. J. Pickett
© 2014 by McGraw-Hill Education. This is proprietary material solely for authorized instructor use. Not authorized for sale or distribution in any
manner. This document may not be copied, scanned, duplicated, forwarded, distributed, or posted on a website, in whole or part.
6-1
Module 06 - You-Attitude
Appendix 6-B: A Poor Example of You-Attitude
The message has an
unfriendly tone (“we
must insist”).
The message requires
the reader to do
everything.
“We” is used too often.
The writer uses old-fashioned language
and jargon (“said check,” “the
undersigned”).
The writer does not consider the reader.
The message is hard to read and
understand.
© 2014 by McGraw-Hill Education. This is proprietary material solely for authorized instructor use. Not authorized for sale or distribution in any
manner. This document may not be copied, scanned, duplicated, forwarded, distributed, or posted on a website, in whole or part.
6-2
Module 06 - You-Attitude
Appendix 6-C: A Better Example of You-Attitude
December 11. 2002
Ms. Carol McFarland
Rollins Equipment Corporation
850 Parkway Exchange
Columbus, Ohio 43240
Dear Ms. McFarland:
Let’s clear up the liens in the Rollins contract.
Rollins will receive a check for $14,207.02 when you give us releases
for mechanic’s liens of $14,207.02 and $13,155.27. To assure us that the
releases are in the proper form,
1. Give us a stamped original of the lien indicating the document’s
district court number, and
2. Either
a. Have the releases signed by an officer of Rollins Equipment
or
b. Give us a letter from a Rollins officer authorizing someone else
to sign the release.
Call me to tell me which way is best for you.
Sincerely,
K. J. Pickett
© 2014 by McGraw-Hill Education. This is proprietary material solely for authorized instructor use. Not authorized for sale or distribution in any
manner. This document may not be copied, scanned, duplicated, forwarded, distributed, or posted on a website, in whole or part.
6-3
Module 06 - You-Attitude
Appendix 6-D: A Better Example of You-Attitude
The message has a more
professional tone.
Clear personal references
replace jargon.
Straightforward directions
replace the convoluted
message in the previous
letter.
Choices are clear.
The ending makes it clear who the reader should contact.
© 2014 by McGraw-Hill Education. This is proprietary material solely for authorized instructor use. Not authorized for sale or distribution in any
manner. This document may not be copied, scanned, duplicated, forwarded, distributed, or posted on a website, in whole or part.
6-4
