Module 06 - You-Attitude

Part 3:

Appendix 6-A: A Poor Example of You-Attitude

December 11, 2002

Ms. Carol McFarland

Rollins Equipment Corporation

850 Parkway Exchange

Columbus, Ohio 43240

Dear Ms. McFarland:

original of the lien indicating the document number in the appropriate

district court where it is filed. Also, either the releases must be executed

by an officer of Rollins Equipment, or we must be provided with a letter

from an officer of Rollins Equipment authorizing another individual to

execute the release.

Please contact the undersigned so that we can set up an appointment for

this transaction.

Sincerely,

K. J. Pickett

© 2014 by McGraw-Hill Education. This is proprietary material solely for authorized instructor use. Not authorized for sale or distribution in any

Module 06 - You-Attitude

The message requires

the reader to do

everything.

“We” is used too often.

The writer uses old-fashioned language

and jargon (“said check,” “the

undersigned”).

The writer does not consider the reader.

The message is hard to read and

understand.

© 2014 by McGraw-Hill Education. This is proprietary material solely for authorized instructor use. Not authorized for sale or distribution in any

Module 06 - You-Attitude

Dear Ms. McFarland:

Let’s clear up the liens in the Rollins contract.

Rollins will receive a check for $14,207.02 when you give us releases

for mechanic’s liens of $14,207.02 and $13,155.27. To assure us that the

releases are in the proper form,

1. Give us a stamped original of the lien indicating the document’s

district court number, and

2. Either

© 2014 by McGraw-Hill Education. This is proprietary material solely for authorized instructor use. Not authorized for sale or distribution in any

Module 06 - You-Attitude

The ending makes it clear who the reader should contact.

© 2014 by McGraw-Hill Education. This is proprietary material solely for authorized instructor use. Not authorized for sale or distribution in any