Teaching Suggestions
The teaching techniques for this chapter are the same as for the preceding chapter.
Text Summary, Lecture Outline
Slides 6-1, 6-2, 6-3
When introducing this chapter, you can ask your students to give examples of mes when a business
writer might need to give unwelcome news. Help them see that this is a very common situaon—and
that the advice in this chapter will be very helpful.
Slides 6-4, 6-5
When the main message is bad news, you should usually write in the indirect order.
Such messages are likely to be received more posively when an explanaon precedes the bad news. An
explanaon may even convince the reader that the writer is cleared of fault. It can also serve to cushion
the shock of the bad news. But you may be jus&ed in using directness in certain cases:
when it is in the reader’s best interest to convey the negave news right away and to encourage
them to act on the news,
when the negave news will be accepted rounely,
or when you think the reader will appreciate frankness.
The General Indirect Plan
Slide 6-6
Begin with a strategic bu)er. Use it to introduce your strategy to overcome the reader’s resistance. It
might be an explanaon, a review of jusfying facts—whatever you think will work. You might also
acknowledge any preceding messages in your opening.
Then develop the strategy—connue what the beginning set up. Make your case in such a way that the
reader will see your point and consider it reasonable—perhaps even in his or her best interest.
Then present the negave. It should be the logical outcome of the preceding strategy, and it should be
worded as posively as the situaon permits.
When possible (which is o.en), o)er a compromise or alternave soluon. When you say no or
announce negave news, you’ve le. your reader with a problem. Help him/her solve it to the best of
your ability.
End on a posive note, shi.ing the focus to happier things—just as you would do at the end of a
face-to-face meeng.
Slide 6-7
Highlight the important elements of the strategic bu)er in bad-news messages.
Good strategic bu)ers . . .
Are neutral or posive
Acknowledge the situaon
Put the reader in the best posion to accept the news
Are careful not to raise hopes
Ask students to think of opening lines that have helped them or could help them to receive bad news.
Slide 6-8
When delivering bad news, the &rst thought is o.en to apologize. This slide outlines when apologies are
useful and when they may not be.
If the writer is at fault, the apology should be made early in the message as part of the explanaon. Then
the writer should move on. No apology should reappear at the end of the message.
If the writer is not directly at fault, an apology can make it seem otherwise. An apology can also be seen
as an admission of guilt and can have legal implicaons. When in doubt, a writer should consult a
supervisor or legal advisor before sending a message of apology.
Refused Requests
Slide 6-9
In these situaons, someone has asked you for something, and you must refuse—a very common
business situaon.
Such messages are almost always negave, although they vary in degree of negavity. Usually in such
messages you have two goals:
1. to refuse, and
2. to maintain goodwill.
Before you write anything, you should think through the situaon and work out a strategy—that is, how
you will explain or jusfy your decision.
Perhaps you must refuse because of company policy. In this case, it is advisable to jusfy the policy
rather than to just say it is company policy to refuse.
Probably you will refuse because the facts of the case jusfy refusing. When this is the case, you can
review the facts and appeal to fair play.
And there can be other reasons. In all cases, study the facts and work out as convincing an explanaon
as you can.
Slide 6-10
With your strategy developed, you next put it into message form.
Begin indirectly with words that meet these requirements:
1. They clearly indicate that you are responding to the request.
2. They are neutral—that is, they do not imply yes or no.
3. They set up the strategy you have devised.
For example, if you are responding to a request for permission to use a company’s grounds for a polical
fundraiser and you must say no, you might begin: “We are honored by your request for permission to
hold your important event on our grounds. Our landscapers have worked hard to create a place that
adds beauty to the community, and we are happy to host community events whenever possible.”
These words are about the subject of the request, so they obviously indicate an answer to the request.
They do not give away the answer. And they set up the strategy (that the company can host community
events only when they are not a>liated with a parcular polical or religious cause).
The reasoning set up by the opening follows. You present your reasoning as convincingly as you can,
taking care to avoid unnecessary negave wording and to use the you-viewpoint.
A.er you have presented your case, you refuse. Take care to use no unnecessary negaves, making this
part as posive as the situaon permits. Avoid harsh words such as “I refuse,” “will not,” and “cannot.”
Timeworn apologies such as “I deeply regret” or “I am sorry to say” emphasize the negave and can
sound insincere.
Avoid giving the refusal undue emphasis—by posion, space, or wording.
A compromise can o.en be used to so.en the refusal and build goodwill. When this is possible, take
advantage of it. For example: “The best we can do . . .”; “Have you considered . . .”; “You might want to . .
.”; “May I suggest that you . . .”; or other ways that direct your reader toward at least a paral soluon to
his/her problem.
Good closing talk is something pleasant that does not dwell on the refusal. What you choose to use will
depend on the facts of the case. But select something that &ts the situaon—something you might say if
you were face to face with the reader.
Avoid the meworn negave apologies: “I sincerely regret that we have had to refuse . . . .” Equally bad
are the meworn appeals to understanding: “I sincerely hope that you understand why we must make
this decision.”
Slides 6-11, 6-12
Use the sample messages on these slides to show how the preceding guidelines have been applied (or
not) in this situaon.
Encourage the students to crique the two examples in light of the guidelines given for refusal messages.
Indirect Claims
Slide 6-13
When something goes wrong in business relaons, one party may a@empt to correct the ma@er by
making a claim against the other.
The claim may be made in person, by telephone, or by wri@en message. As the text says, it may also be
direct or indirect, depending on the situaon. And even when it is indirect, it states the problem early in
the message.
When you are making a roune claim—such as informing a mail-order company that they sent the
wrong number of ink cartridges—you do not have to do much strategizing. This is one of those mistakes
that somemes happens, and the company will probably be happy to correct it once you bring it to their
a@enon. A quick phone call o.en takes care of such situaons.
But in cases where the soluon is not so clear cut, you will need to be more strategic and persuasive. You
will also need to take care to control your tone so as not to undermine your request.
Slide 6-14
State early in the message that there is a problem—but word this statement as neutrally as possible.
When appropriate, reference the invoice number, order number, or date of transacon.
One possible way to do so is in a subject line like this one: “Subject: Breakage of glassware shipped
under invoice No. L1308.” Your opening paragraph can then add further speci&cs.
In the body of the message, present your case as persuasively but unemoonally as you can. Explain
clearly what went wrong.
Present the evidence. You may want to interpret the error in terms of its e)ect: “The Fanuc robot that
we purchased last January 17 has broken down, resulng in the stoppage of one of our assembly lines.”
Be tacFul, don’t assume or imply distrust, and resist the temptaon to display anger.
A.er making the claim, move to the adjustment request. Either say what acon you want or let the
reader choose the appropriate acon.
End with words that state or imply your desire to connue relaons with the reader. For example: “We
would appreciate your immediate replacement of this unit so that we can resume producon.” (Avoid
such rubber stamps as “Thanking you in advance . . . .”)
Slides 6-15, 6-16, 6-17, 6-18
Use these examples of a claim to reinforce these concepts. Have your students crique and assess each
example in light of the guidelines for wring an indirect claim.
Have students point out the speci&c wording that creates a negave or emoonal tone in the bad
example of a claim le@er. Students can brainstorm ways in which the le@er could be improved.
Then review the good example, discussing the strategy used for each part. Highlight these points:
Neutral beginning using passive construcon (“we were charged”)
Presentaon of case and reference to evidence without emoon
Clear request for adjustment
Posive ending that focuses on future
Adjustment Refusals
Slide 6-19
Messages that refuse claims carry bad news. Like other bad-news messages, they are usually handled
with indirectness.
Probably, the reader believes he or she is right and that you are wrong, although some know their claims
are weak.
A good beginning step in working on the le@er is to decide how to explain your decision. Your decision
should be based on the facts of the case; a.er all, you have good reasons on your side. (If you do not,
then you have a very di>cult message to write indeed—and should reconsider the refusal, if possible.)
So you review the facts, and you determine the explanaon that will be most likely to convince the
reader that right is on your side.
Slide 6-20
As in other refusals, the opening should 1) be on subject, 2) be neutral, and 3) set up the explanaon.
Because you are answering a message (the claim), you should refer to this message, either incidentally
(“As described in your April 7 le@er”) or in a subject line (“Subject: Your August 2 le@er about Order
3188”).
The subject ma@er of the opening can be almost anything that sets up a review of the facts of the case.
It could be a point on which you and the reader can agree: “You are correct in believing that a two-ton
Deep Kold window unit should cool the ordinary three-room apartment.” The sentence makes contact
on a common point and sets up the reasoning (the apartment in queson is not an ordinary three-room
apartment).
The opening set-up could be a statement showing concern for the reader’s well-being. “Assisng young
couples to enjoy beaufully decorated homes at budget prices is one of our most sasfying goals. We do
all we reasonably can to reach it.”
From this opening sentence the writer will shi. smoothly to proving that making the adjustment goes
beyond what can reasonably be expected.
The explanaon that was set up by the opening logically follows. This explanaon should be convincing.
This means that it should be believable, and to be believable, it should be based on fact. It should show
clearly that right is on your side.
Use your best wring skills in presenng your reasoning. This means avoiding unnecessary negaves and
emphasizing the posive. It also means wring nothing that quesons the reader’s honesty or
intelligence—nothing insulng. (“If you had read the contract you would have known that…”).
Your explanaon should lead to and set up the refusal. So a.er explaining, refuse. Refuse posively—yet
clearly. To make sure it is posive, study the e)ects of your words. Avoid unnecessary negaves. If the
situaon jus&es it, consider a compromise.
To make sure your refusal is clear, use words that leave no doubt. Example: “For these reasons, you will
understand why we can pay only when our employees pack the goods.” Or “Although the contract clearly
ended our responsibility on May 1, we will do whatever we can to help repair the equipment.” Or “In
view of these facts, the best we can do is repair the equipment at cost.”
End with a pleasant comment. Avoid referring unnecessarily to the refusal. Even well-intended apologies
are negave here.
A good general topic is some more agreeable aspect of customer relaons—new products, services, uses
of the product, industry news, and the like. Almost any friendly comment that appears logical in this case
will do.
Slides 6-21, 6-22, 6-23, 6-24
Have your students crique the sample messages supplied in slides 6-21 and 6-22.
Some points they could consider regarding the bad example:
•Beginning starts with an exaggerated apology
•Language places blame on reader and can create a defensive reacon
•Unnecessary emphasis on the negave: “we are not able to,” “couldn’t possibly,” “no one,” and
“no further”
•Ending with another apology, rubber stamp phrasing, and insincere senment
Slide 8-21 o)ers a comical representaon of a company refusing an adjustment. You could consider using
this as a point of discussion to brainstorm situaons in which an adjustment can’t be made. How would
they handle these situaons? How have they handled situaons in which they were the party being
refused? What made the di)erence as to whether they felt negavely or posively about the company
involved?
It’s useful to think of both sides of the message when composing an adjustment refusal.
Then have students assess the good example in slide 8-22. Note parcularly the skillful wording of the
refusal itself—not “. . . we cannot grant you a refund on your paneling” but “. . . we must consider the
sale &nal.”
Negative Announcements
Slide 6-25
Somemes businesses have to announce bad news to their customers and employees—for example, a
price increase, a reducon in employee bene&ts, the closing of a store.
As with the negave messages previously discussed, the writer begins by searching for a strategy.
Slide 6-26
Negave announcements follow the general construcon of other bad-news messages. Due to the
nature of the content that such announcements commonly carry, the main goals of the negave
announcement are to 1) present the bad news as accurately and posively as possible and 2) leave
readers feeling that the writer has carefully considered their interests.
In these instances, the writer begins by thinking “What can be said that will cushion the shock of the bad
news?”
The beginning should set up the jus&caon of the announcement and ease the reader into the
discovery of the bad news. This can be done with a cordial statement that focuses on the relaonship of
the writer to the reader(s) or a set-up of the jusfying informaon to follow.
The background reasons for and explanaon of the news should be o)ered next, using the techniques
for posive e)ect. Take care to cover all the necessary details. Ancipate the readers’ quesons and
answer them. If the bad news creates problems, try to help solve them.
The negave news should be presented as posively as the situaon jus&es. But it must be crystal clear.
As in the other negave messages, the words must be carefully chosen.
O.en change is a part of negave announcements. Use this message to assure your readers of posive
elements that are remaining in place, to call a@enon to potenal bene&ts that may result from the
changes, and to help resolve any problems that come from the changes.
End on a note that a>rms the good relaonship between you and your readers and perhaps looks ahead
to something posive.
Slides 6-27, 6-28, 6-29
These slides present a simple bad and good example that illustrate the recommended strategy.
Have your students crique and assess each part of the messages. Before showing them the good
example, let the students come up with ways to improve the bad example. Highlight the need for:
A more posive, neutral bu)er
Reducon of negave language and increase of posive e)ect techniques
Change of tone so as not to insult the reader
Stronger, more posive and friendly closing
Slides 6-30, 6-31, 6-32
Directness may be appropriate in some cases—for example, if the news is expected, if the news is only
mildly negave, or if it is already known through leaks of informaon.
Even so, exercise care in word selecon. Present the informaon posively and clearly. Students can
come up with their own examples of direct negave announcements before viewing slides 8-30 and
8-31. Then discuss the samples provided in light of the guidelines for wring direct messages.
A possible follow-up exercise for Negave Announcements: Have the class watch the Managers Hot Seat
video “Change: More Pain than Gain?” and discuss/assess the manager’s e)ecveness when dealing
with the negave fallout from an acquision.
Slide 6-33
The point of this quote, of course, is that one should never write business messages in anger. When
tackling a negave situaon, writers need to let their inial feelings se@le.
In addion to leNng anger pass, this can also mean leNng any inial negavity about the situaon pass.
The best bad-news messages are those wri@en out of con&dence and a posive approach (with the glass
being viewed as half full rather than half empty). Perhaps the best advice of all is to get oneself in the
right frame of mind before wring such a message—even if that means purging the bad mood &rst with
a message that one would never send!