Chapter 4 3 A manager should point out important points made by a subordinate before pointing

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93)

Explain the types of communication that invalidate people. Describe the attributes of validating

communication. Provide specific examples.

94)

Describe the steps involved in descriptive communication. Provide an example of each step.

Rejected Plans Case

The following dialogue occurred between two employees in a large firm. The conversation illustrates several characteristics

of supportive communication.

SUSETTE: How did your meeting go with Mr. Schmidt yesterday?

LEONARDO: Well, uh, it went … aaah … it was no big deal.

SUSETTE: It looks as if you’re pretty upset about it.

LEONARDO: Yeah, I am. It was a totally frustrating experience. I, uh, well, let‘s just say I would like to forget the whole

thing.

SUSETTE: Things must not have gone as well as you had hoped they would.

LEONARDO: I’ll say! That guy was impossible. I thought the plans I submitted were very clear and well thought out. Then

he rejected the entire package.

SUSETTE: You mean he didn’t accept any of them?

LEONARDO: You got it.

SUSETTE: I’ve seen your work before, Leonardo. You’ve always done a first–rate job. It’s hard for me to figure out why your

plans were rejected by Schmidt. What did he say about them?

LEONARDO: He said they were unrealistic and too difficult to implement, and ...

SUSETTE: Really?

LEONARDO: Yeah, and when he said that I felt he was attacking me personally. But, on the other hand, I was also angry

because I thought my plans were very good, and, you know, I paid close attention to every detail in those plans.

SUSETTE: I’m certain that you did.

LEONARDO: It just really ticks me off.

SUSETTE: I’ll bet it does. I would be upset, too.

LEONARDO: Schmidt has something against me.

SUSETTE: After all the effort you put into those plans, you still couldn’t figure out whether Schmidt was rejecting you or

your plans, right?

LEONARDO: Yeah. Right. How could you tell?

SUSETTE: I can really understand your confusion and uncertainty when you felt Schmidt’s actions were unreasonable.

LEONARDO: I just don’t understand why he did what he did.

SUSETTE: Sure. If he said your plans were unrealistic, what does that mean? I mean, how can you deal with a rationale like

that? It’s just too generalmeaningless, even. Did he mention anything specific? Did you ask him to point out some problems

or explain the reasons for his rejection more clearly?

LEONARDO: Good point, but, uh, you know ... I was so disappointed at the rejection that I was kinda like in outer space.

You know what I mean?

SUSETTE: Yeah. It’s an incapacitating experience. You have so much invested personally that you try to divest as fast as you

can to save what little self–respect is left.

LEONARDO: That’s it all right. I just wanted to get out of there before I said something I would be sorry for.

SUSETTE: Yet, in the back of your mind, you probably figured that Schmidt wouldn’t risk the company’s future just because

he didn’t like you personally. But then, well ... the plans were good! It’s hard to deal with that contradiction on the spot, isn’t

it?

LEONARDO: Exactly. I knew I should have pushed him for more information, but, uh, I just stood there like a dummy. But

what can you do about it now? It’s spilled milk.

SUSETTE: I don’t think it’s a total loss, Leonardo. I mean, from what you have told mewhat he said and what you saidI

don’t think that a conclusion can be reached. Maybe he doesn‘t understand the plans, or maybe it was just his off day. Who

knows? It could be a lot of things. What would you think about pinning Schmidt down by asking for his objections, point by

point? Do you think it would help to talk to him again?

LEONARDO: Well, I would sure know a lot more than I know now. As it is, I wouldn’t know where to begin revising or

modifying the plans. And you’re right, I really don’t know what Schmidt thinks about me or my work. Sometimes I just react

and interpret with little or no evidence.

SUSETTE: Maybe, uh … maybe another meeting would be a good thing, then.

LEONARDO: Well, I guess I should get off my duff and schedule an appointment with him for next week. I am curious to

find out what the problem is, with the plans, or me. (Pause) Thanks, Susette, for helping me work through this thing.

95)

Which one of the eight attributes of supportive communication was most helpful? Why?

Find Somebody Else

Ron Davis, the relatively new general manager of the machine tooling group at Parker Manufacturing, was visiting one of

the plants. He scheduled a meeting with Mike Leonard, a plant manager who reported to him.

RON: Mike, I’ve scheduled this meeting with you because I’ve been reviewing performance data and I wanted to give

you some feedback. I know we haven’t talked face–to–face before, but I think it’s time we review how you’re doing. I’m afraid

that some of the things I have to say are not very favorable.

MIKE: Well, since you’re the new boss, I guess I’ll have to listen. I’ve had meetings like this before with new people who

come in my plant and think they know what’s going on.

RON: Look, Mike, I want this to be a two–way interchange. I’m not here to read a verdict to you, and I’m not here to tell

you how to do your job. There are just some areas for improvement I want to review.

MIKE: Okay, sure, I‘ve heard that before. But you called the meeting. Go ahead and lower the boom.

RON: Well, Mike, I don’t think this is lowering the boom. But there are several things you need to hear. One is what I

noticed during the plant tour. I think you’re too chummy with some of your female personnel. You know, one of them might

take offense and level a sexual harassment suit against you.

MIKE: Oh, come on. You haven’t been around this plant before, and you don’t know the informal, friendly relationships

we have. The office staff and the women on the floor are flattered by a little attention now and then.

RON: That may be so, but you need to be more careful. You may not be sensitive to what’s really going on with them. But

that raises another thing I noticedthe appearance of your shop. You know how important it is in Parker to have a neat and

clean shop. As I walked through this morning, I noticed that it wasn‘t as orderly and neat as I would like to see it. Having

things in disarray reflects poorly on you, Mike.

MIKE: I’ll stack my plant up against any in Parker for neatness. You may have seen a few tools out of place because

someone was just using them, but we take a lot of pride in our neatness. I don’t see how you can say that things are in

disarray. You’ve got no experience around here, so who are you to judge?

RON: Well, I’m glad you’re sensitive to the neatness issue. I just think you need to pay attention to it, that‘s all. But

regarding neatness, I notice that you don’t dress like a plant manager. I think you’re creating a substandard impression by

not wearing a tie, for example. Casualness in dress can be used as an excuse for workers to come to work in really grubby

attire. That may not be safe.

MIKE: Look, I don’t agree with making a big separation between the managers and the employees. By dressing like

people out on the shop floor, I think we eliminate a lot of barriers. Besides, I don’t have the money to buy clothes that might

get oil on them every day. That seems pretty picky to me.

RON: I don’t want to seem picky, Mike. But I do feel strongly about the issues I’ve mentioned. There are some other

things, though, that need to get corrected. One is the appearance of the reports you send into division headquarters. There are

often mistakes, misspellings, and, I suspect, some wrong numbers. I wonder if you are paying attention to these reports. You

seem to be reviewing them superficially.

MIKE: If there is one thing we have too much of, it’s reports. I could spend three–quarters of my time filling out report

forms and generating data for some bean counter in headquarters. We have reports coming out our ears. Why don’t you give

us a chance to get our work done and eliminate all this paperwork?

RON: You know as well as I do, Mike, that we need to carefully monitor our productivity, quality, and costs. You just

need to get more serious about taking care of that part of your responsibility.

MIKE: Okay. I’m not going to fight about that. It’s a losing battle for me. No one at headquarters will ever decrease their

demand for reports. But, listen, Ron, I also have one question for you.

RON: Okay. What’s that?

MIKE: Why don’t you go find somebody else to pick on?

96)

If you were to change this interaction to make it more productive, what would you change?

97)

Briefly explain the eight principles of supportive communication.

Mini–Case: Investing in the 90s. Your inheritance from your Uncle Bruce has just arrived. You have decided to invest the

$5,000. The following conversation took place with John, Morgan, and Ivan. Talking to John, “I can’t believe Uncle Bruce left

me $5,000. Geez … that’s a good chunk of change. So John, what would you do?” John smiles and says, “Plastics!” Now

laughing, he says, “No, not really. I think I would place my money in a mutual fund.” Morgan, who has just walked up,

remarks, “Well, when I won $1,000 last year from playing blackjack, I placed my money into T–bills. The market is

overpriced. I’m waiting for the correction.” Ivan nods his head in agreement and then asks you, “What is it that you want to

accomplish with the money?” You respond, “I want to be rich!!!” Ivan closes his eyes and asks, “Do you want to be rich now

or in five years? Are you looking long term or short term?” Frustrated, you say, “This is hard, maybe I should hit the track

and have a very good time.” All chime in and say, “Once again, what is it that you want your money to do?”

98)

Several response types are illustrated in this story of what to do with your $5,000 inheritance. For each of the

following situations, indicate the response type that most likely occurred. Provide support for your answer.

Situation #1: John’s response to your question is an example of which response type?

Situation #2: Which response type characterizes Morgan’s comment?

Situation #3: Ivan’s comment, “What is it that you want to accomplish with your money?” represents which

response type?

Situation #4: Ivan’s second comment concerning whether you want to be rich now or lateris the investment

long term or short termis an example of which response type?

Situation #5: When all the characters respond in unison to your frustration, this is an example of which

response type?