93)
Explain the types of communication that invalidate people. Describe the attributes of validating
communication. Provide specific examples.
94)
Describe the steps involved in descriptive communication. Provide an example of each step.
Rejected Plans Case
The following dialogue occurred between two employees in a large firm. The conversation illustrates several characteristics
of supportive communication.
SUSETTE: How did your meeting go with Mr. Schmidt yesterday?
LEONARDO: Well, uh, it went … aaah … it was no big deal.
SUSETTE: It looks as if you’re pretty upset about it.
LEONARDO: Yeah, I am. It was a totally frustrating experience. I, uh, well, let‘s just say I would like to forget the whole
thing.
SUSETTE: Things must not have gone as well as you had hoped they would.
LEONARDO: I’ll say! That guy was impossible. I thought the plans I submitted were very clear and well thought out. Then
he rejected the entire package.
SUSETTE: You mean he didn’t accept any of them?
LEONARDO: You got it.
SUSETTE: I’ve seen your work before, Leonardo. You’ve always done a first–rate job. It’s hard for me to figure out why your
plans were rejected by Schmidt. What did he say about them?
LEONARDO: He said they were unrealistic and too difficult to implement, and ...
SUSETTE: Really?
LEONARDO: Yeah, and when he said that I felt he was attacking me personally. But, on the other hand, I was also angry
because I thought my plans were very good, and, you know, I paid close attention to every detail in those plans.
SUSETTE: I’m certain that you did.
LEONARDO: It just really ticks me off.
42
SUSETTE: I’ll bet it does. I would be upset, too.
LEONARDO: Schmidt has something against me.
SUSETTE: After all the effort you put into those plans, you still couldn’t figure out whether Schmidt was rejecting you or
your plans, right?
LEONARDO: Yeah. Right. How could you tell?
SUSETTE: I can really understand your confusion and uncertainty when you felt Schmidt’s actions were unreasonable.
LEONARDO: I just don’t understand why he did what he did.
SUSETTE: Sure. If he said your plans were unrealistic, what does that mean? I mean, how can you deal with a rationale like
that? It’s just too generalmeaningless, even. Did he mention anything specific? Did you ask him to point out some problems
or explain the reasons for his rejection more clearly?
LEONARDO: Good point, but, uh, you know ... I was so disappointed at the rejection that I was kinda like in outer space.
You know what I mean?
SUSETTE: Yeah. It’s an incapacitating experience. You have so much invested personally that you try to divest as fast as you
can to save what little self–respect is left.
LEONARDO: That’s it all right. I just wanted to get out of there before I said something I would be sorry for.
SUSETTE: Yet, in the back of your mind, you probably figured that Schmidt wouldn’t risk the company’s future just because
he didn’t like you personally. But then, well ... the plans were good! It’s hard to deal with that contradiction on the spot, isn’t
it?
LEONARDO: Exactly. I knew I should have pushed him for more information, but, uh, I just stood there like a dummy. But
what can you do about it now? It’s spilled milk.
SUSETTE: I don’t think it’s a total loss, Leonardo. I mean, from what you have told mewhat he said and what you saidI
don’t think that a conclusion can be reached. Maybe he doesn‘t understand the plans, or maybe it was just his off day. Who
knows? It could be a lot of things. What would you think about pinning Schmidt down by asking for his objections, point by
point? Do you think it would help to talk to him again?
LEONARDO: Well, I would sure know a lot more than I know now. As it is, I wouldn’t know where to begin revising or
modifying the plans. And you’re right, I really don’t know what Schmidt thinks about me or my work. Sometimes I just react
and interpret with little or no evidence.
SUSETTE: Maybe, uh … maybe another meeting would be a good thing, then.
LEONARDO: Well, I guess I should get off my duff and schedule an appointment with him for next week. I am curious to
find out what the problem is, with the plans, or me. (Pause) Thanks, Susette, for helping me work through this thing.
95)
Which one of the eight attributes of supportive communication was most helpful? Why?
Find Somebody Else
Ron Davis, the relatively new general manager of the machine tooling group at Parker Manufacturing, was visiting one of
the plants. He scheduled a meeting with Mike Leonard, a plant manager who reported to him.
RON: Mike, I’ve scheduled this meeting with you because I’ve been reviewing performance data and I wanted to give
you some feedback. I know we haven’t talked face–to–face before, but I think it’s time we review how you’re doing. I’m afraid
that some of the things I have to say are not very favorable.
MIKE: Well, since you’re the new boss, I guess I’ll have to listen. I’ve had meetings like this before with new people who
come in my plant and think they know what’s going on.
RON: Look, Mike, I want this to be a two–way interchange. I’m not here to read a verdict to you, and I’m not here to tell
you how to do your job. There are just some areas for improvement I want to review.
MIKE: Okay, sure, I‘ve heard that before. But you called the meeting. Go ahead and lower the boom.
RON: Well, Mike, I don’t think this is lowering the boom. But there are several things you need to hear. One is what I
noticed during the plant tour. I think you’re too chummy with some of your female personnel. You know, one of them might
take offense and level a sexual harassment suit against you.
MIKE: Oh, come on. You haven’t been around this plant before, and you don’t know the informal, friendly relationships
we have. The office staff and the women on the floor are flattered by a little attention now and then.
43
RON: That may be so, but you need to be more careful. You may not be sensitive to what’s really going on with them. But
that raises another thing I noticedthe appearance of your shop. You know how important it is in Parker to have a neat and
clean shop. As I walked through this morning, I noticed that it wasn‘t as orderly and neat as I would like to see it. Having
things in disarray reflects poorly on you, Mike.
MIKE: I’ll stack my plant up against any in Parker for neatness. You may have seen a few tools out of place because
someone was just using them, but we take a lot of pride in our neatness. I don’t see how you can say that things are in
disarray. You’ve got no experience around here, so who are you to judge?
RON: Well, I’m glad you’re sensitive to the neatness issue. I just think you need to pay attention to it, that‘s all. But
regarding neatness, I notice that you don’t dress like a plant manager. I think you’re creating a substandard impression by
not wearing a tie, for example. Casualness in dress can be used as an excuse for workers to come to work in really grubby
attire. That may not be safe.
MIKE: Look, I don’t agree with making a big separation between the managers and the employees. By dressing like
people out on the shop floor, I think we eliminate a lot of barriers. Besides, I don’t have the money to buy clothes that might
get oil on them every day. That seems pretty picky to me.
RON: I don’t want to seem picky, Mike. But I do feel strongly about the issues I’ve mentioned. There are some other
things, though, that need to get corrected. One is the appearance of the reports you send into division headquarters. There are
often mistakes, misspellings, and, I suspect, some wrong numbers. I wonder if you are paying attention to these reports. You
seem to be reviewing them superficially.
MIKE: If there is one thing we have too much of, it’s reports. I could spend three–quarters of my time filling out report
forms and generating data for some bean counter in headquarters. We have reports coming out our ears. Why don’t you give
us a chance to get our work done and eliminate all this paperwork?
RON: You know as well as I do, Mike, that we need to carefully monitor our productivity, quality, and costs. You just
need to get more serious about taking care of that part of your responsibility.
MIKE: Okay. I’m not going to fight about that. It’s a losing battle for me. No one at headquarters will ever decrease their
demand for reports. But, listen, Ron, I also have one question for you.
RON: Okay. What’s that?
MIKE: Why don’t you go find somebody else to pick on?
96)
If you were to change this interaction to make it more productive, what would you change?
97)
Briefly explain the eight principles of supportive communication.
Mini–Case: Investing in the 90s. Your inheritance from your Uncle Bruce has just arrived. You have decided to invest the
$5,000. The following conversation took place with John, Morgan, and Ivan. Talking to John, “I can’t believe Uncle Bruce left
me $5,000. Geez … that’s a good chunk of change. So John, what would you do?” John smiles and says, “Plastics!” Now
laughing, he says, “No, not really. I think I would place my money in a mutual fund.” Morgan, who has just walked up,
remarks, “Well, when I won $1,000 last year from playing blackjack, I placed my money into T–bills. The market is
overpriced. I’m waiting for the correction.” Ivan nods his head in agreement and then asks you, “What is it that you want to
accomplish with the money?” You respond, “I want to be rich!!!” Ivan closes his eyes and asks, “Do you want to be rich now
or in five years? Are you looking long term or short term?” Frustrated, you say, “This is hard, maybe I should hit the track
and have a very good time.” All chime in and say, “Once again, what is it that you want your money to do?”
98)
Several response types are illustrated in this story of what to do with your $5,000 inheritance. For each of the
following situations, indicate the response type that most likely occurred. Provide support for your answer.
Situation #1: John’s response to your question is an example of which response type?
Situation #2: Which response type characterizes Morgan’s comment?
Situation #3: Ivan’s comment, “What is it that you want to accomplish with your money?” represents which
response type?
Situation #4: Ivan’s second comment concerning whether you want to be rich now or lateris the investment
long term or short termis an example of which response type?
Situation #5: When all the characters respond in unison to your frustration, this is an example of which
response type?
Find Somebody Else
Ron Davis, the relatively new general manager of the machine tooling group at Parker Manufacturing, was visiting one of
the plants. He scheduled a meeting with Mike Leonard, a plant manager who reported to him.
RON: Mike, I’ve scheduled this meeting with you because I’ve been reviewing performance data and I wanted to give
you some feedback. I know we haven’t talked face–to–face before, but I think it’s time we review how you’re doing. I’m afraid
that some of the things I have to say are not very favorable.
MIKE: Well, since you’re the new boss, I guess I’ll have to listen. I’ve had meetings like this before with new people who
come in my plant and think they know what’s going on.
RON: Look, Mike, I want this to be a two–way interchange. I’m not here to read a verdict to you, and I’m not here to tell
you how to do your job. There are just some areas for improvement I want to review.
MIKE: Okay, sure, I‘ve heard that before. But you called the meeting. Go ahead and lower the boom.
RON: Well, Mike, I don’t think this is lowering the boom. But there are several things you need to hear. One is what I
noticed during the plant tour. I think you’re too chummy with some of your female personnel. You know, one of them might
take offense and level a sexual harassment suit against you.
MIKE: Oh, come on. You haven’t been around this plant before, and you don’t know the informal, friendly relationships
we have. The office staff and the women on the floor are flattered by a little attention now and then.
RON: That may be so, but you need to be more careful. You may not be sensitive to what’s really going on with them. But
that raises another thing I noticedthe appearance of your shop. You know how important it is in Parker to have a neat and
clean shop. As I walked through this morning, I noticed that it wasn‘t as orderly and neat as I would like to see it. Having
things in disarray reflects poorly on you, Mike.
MIKE: I’ll stack my plant up against any in Parker for neatness. You may have seen a few tools out of place because
someone was just using them, but we take a lot of pride in our neatness. I don’t see how you can say that things are in
disarray. You’ve got no experience around here, so who are you to judge?
RON: Well, I’m glad you’re sensitive to the neatness issue. I just think you need to pay attention to it, that‘s all. But
regarding neatness, I notice that you don’t dress like a plant manager. I think you’re creating a substandard impression by
not wearing a tie, for example. Casualness in dress can be used as an excuse for workers to come to work in really grubby
attire. That may not be safe.
MIKE: Look, I don’t agree with making a big separation between the managers and the employees. By dressing like
people out on the shop floor, I think we eliminate a lot of barriers. Besides, I don’t have the money to buy clothes that might
get oil on them every day. That seems pretty picky to me.
RON: I don’t want to seem picky, Mike. But I do feel strongly about the issues I’ve mentioned. There are some other
things, though, that need to get corrected. One is the appearance of the reports you send into division headquarters. There are
often mistakes, misspellings, and, I suspect, some wrong numbers. I wonder if you are paying attention to these reports. You
seem to be reviewing them superficially.
MIKE: If there is one thing we have too much of, it’s reports. I could spend three–quarters of my time filling out report
forms and generating data for some bean counter in headquarters. We have reports coming out our ears. Why don’t you give
us a chance to get our work done and eliminate all this paperwork?
RON: You know as well as I do, Mike, that we need to carefully monitor our productivity, quality, and costs. You just
need to get more serious about taking care of that part of your responsibility.
MIKE: Okay. I’m not going to fight about that. It’s a losing battle for me. No one at headquarters will ever decrease their
demand for reports. But, listen, Ron, I also have one question for you.
RON: Okay. What’s that?
MIKE: Why don’t you go find somebody else to pick on?
99)
What principles of supportive communication and supportive listening are violated in this case?
100)
How were principles of descriptive communication violated? What would you do differently to make the
communication more descriptive?
101)
Categorize each of the statements by naming the rule of supportive communication that is either illustrated or
violated.
102)
Explain the major response types used in supportive listening. Provide the key advantages and disadvantages
for each response type.
Find Somebody Else
Ron Davis, the relatively new general manager of the machine tooling group at Parker Manufacturing, was visiting one of
the plants. He scheduled a meeting with Mike Leonard, a plant manager who reported to him.
RON: Mike, I’ve scheduled this meeting with you because I’ve been reviewing performance data and I wanted to give
you some feedback. I know we haven’t talked face–to–face before, but I think it’s time we review how you’re doing. I’m afraid
that some of the things I have to say are not very favorable.
MIKE: Well, since you’re the new boss, I guess I’ll have to listen. I’ve had meetings like this before with new people who
come in my plant and think they know what’s going on.
RON: Look, Mike, I want this to be a two–way interchange. I’m not here to read a verdict to you, and I’m not here to tell
you how to do your job. There are just some areas for improvement I want to review.
MIKE: Okay, sure, I‘ve heard that before. But you called the meeting. Go ahead and lower the boom.
RON: Well, Mike, I don’t think this is lowering the boom. But there are several things you need to hear. One is what I
noticed during the plant tour. I think you’re too chummy with some of your female personnel. You know, one of them might
take offense and level a sexual harassment suit against you.
MIKE: Oh, come on. You haven’t been around this plant before, and you don’t know the informal, friendly relationships
we have. The office staff and the women on the floor are flattered by a little attention now and then.
RON: That may be so, but you need to be more careful. You may not be sensitive to what’s really going on with them. But
that raises another thing I noticedthe appearance of your shop. You know how important it is in Parker to have a neat and
clean shop. As I walked through this morning, I noticed that it wasn‘t as orderly and neat as I would like to see it. Having
things in disarray reflects poorly on you, Mike.
50
MIKE: I’ll stack my plant up against any in Parker for neatness. You may have seen a few tools out of place because
someone was just using them, but we take a lot of pride in our neatness. I don’t see how you can say that things are in
disarray. You’ve got no experience around here, so who are you to judge?
RON: Well, I’m glad you’re sensitive to the neatness issue. I just think you need to pay attention to it, that‘s all. But
regarding neatness, I notice that you don’t dress like a plant manager. I think you’re creating a substandard impression by
not wearing a tie, for example. Casualness in dress can be used as an excuse for workers to come to work in really grubby
attire. That may not be safe.
MIKE: Look, I don’t agree with making a big separation between the managers and the employees. By dressing like
people out on the shop floor, I think we eliminate a lot of barriers. Besides, I don’t have the money to buy clothes that might
get oil on them every day. That seems pretty picky to me.
RON: I don’t want to seem picky, Mike. But I do feel strongly about the issues I’ve mentioned. There are some other
things, though, that need to get corrected. One is the appearance of the reports you send into division headquarters. There are
often mistakes, misspellings, and, I suspect, some wrong numbers. I wonder if you are paying attention to these reports. You
seem to be reviewing them superficially.
MIKE: If there is one thing we have too much of, it’s reports. I could spend three–quarters of my time filling out report
forms and generating data for some bean counter in headquarters. We have reports coming out our ears. Why don’t you give
us a chance to get our work done and eliminate all this paperwork?
RON: You know as well as I do, Mike, that we need to carefully monitor our productivity, quality, and costs. You just
need to get more serious about taking care of that part of your responsibility.
MIKE: Okay. I’m not going to fight about that. It’s a losing battle for me. No one at headquarters will ever decrease their
demand for reports. But, listen, Ron, I also have one question for you.
RON: Okay. What’s that?
MIKE: Why don’t you go find somebody else to pick on?
103)
If you were Ron, what would you do in your follow–up meeting with Mike?