96. All of the following are defense-arousing behaviors except
a. neutrality.
b. control.
c. superiority.
d. strategy.
e. spontaneity.
97. The assertive message format
a. should be worded to suit your own style of communication.
b. may require you to repeat a part to ensure the other person’s understanding.
c. may be delivered in mixed order of the elements.
d. can combine two or more elements in a single phrase.
e. All of these answers are correct.
98. Paraphrasing is valuable in responding to critics because
a. the intensity of the attack is often reduced when a complaint is acd.
b. the critic knows then that he/she is right.
c. important information can be learned.
d. All of these answers are correct.
e. a and c
99. A spiral
a. is a reciprocating communication pattern.
b. can be escalatory or de-escalatory.
c. rarely goes on indefinitely.
d. reinforces the principle that “what goes around comes around.”
e. All of these answers are correct.
100. When Estefanie tells Tracy exactly what she needs to do differently rather than withholding
information so she’ll look bad to others at work, she is being __________ rather than __________.
a. spontaneous, strategic
b. provisional, certain
c. equal, superior
d. empathetic, neutral
e. descriptive, evaluative
101. When Abdul suggests to Kimya that there might be another way to approach handling a problem
instead of enforcing his way of handling it, he is being __________ rather than __________.
a. spontaneous, strategic
b. provisional, certain
c. equal, superior
d. empathetic, neutral
e. descriptive, evaluative
102. When Libby tells her husband, “I’d really like to go out to dinner more often,” instead of saying,
“Our best friends go out to dinner every week,” she is being __________ rather than __________.
a. spontaneous, strategic
b. provisional, certain
c. equal, superior
d. empathetic, neutral
e. problem-oriented, controlling
103. Kathie likes her new boss, Kay, better than her old boss because Kay is more likely to admit when
she’s wrong and point out that she makes mistakes like every other human being. Kathie probably
experiences a more supportive work climate because Kay’s behavior is more __________ rather
than __________.
a. spontaneous, strategic
b. provisional, certain
c. equal, superior
d. empathetic, neutral
e. problem-oriented, controlling
104. INSTRUCTIONS: Match each statement below with the appropriate defense-arousing behaviors.
a.
b. control
c. neutrality
d. superiority
e. certainty
“How many times do you think I’ll have to explain this to you?!”
105. INSTRUCTIONS: Match each statement below with the appropriate defense-arousing behaviors.
a.
b. control
c. neutrality
d. superiority
e. certainty
“That’s the way of the world. Get used to it.”
106. INSTRUCTIONS: Match each statement below with the appropriate defense-arousing behaviors.
a.
b. control
c. neutrality
d. superiority
e. certainty
“You’re a slob!”
107. INSTRUCTIONS: Match each statement below with the appropriate defense-arousing behaviors.
a.
b. control
c. neutrality
d. superiority
e. certainty
“It’s my way or the highway!”
108. INSTRUCTIONS: Match each statement below with the appropriate defense-arousing behaviors.
a.
b. control
c. neutrality
d. superiority
e. certainty
“I don’t really need your input. I’ve already made my decision.”
109. INSTRUCTIONS: Match each statement below with the appropriate face-honoring behaviors.
a. empathy
b. provisionalism
c. equality
d. problem-orientation
e. description
“I can completely understand why you are so upset about this.”
110. INSTRUCTIONS: Match each statement below with the appropriate face-honoring behaviors.
a. empathy
b. provisionalism
c. equality
d. problem-orientation
e. description
“When you leave your shoes by the door, I get frustrated because I trip over them.”
111. INSTRUCTIONS: Match each statement below with the appropriate face-honoring behaviors.
a. empathy
b. provisionalism
c. equality
d. problem-orientation
e. description
“I’d love to know what you think about this idea. I’ll be considering input through Friday.”
112. INSTRUCTIONS: Match each statement below with the appropriate face-honoring behaviors.
a. empathy
b. provisionalism
c. equality
d. problem-orientation
e. description
“Sure, I’ll be glad to show you how this program works, and I know you’ll get the hang of it soon!”
113. INSTRUCTIONS: Match each statement below with the appropriate face-honoring behaviors.
a. empathy
b. provisionalism
c. equality
d. problem-orientation
e. description
“We should work together on this. I’ll bet we can figure out an idea that will benefit both of us.”
114. INSTRUCTIONS: Match the type of disconfirming response with its behavioral description.
a. impervious
b. tangential
c. personalized complaining
d. impersonal
e. irrelevant
Alex says, “Let’s decide what we’re doing this weekend after I get paid tomorrow,” and you reply, “ I’m
really excited about getting an A on my test.”
115. INSTRUCTIONS: Match the type of disconfirming response with its behavioral description.
a. impervious
b. tangential
c. personalized complaining
d. impersonal
e. irrelevant
Vince says, “I’m so tired,” and you reply, “Boy, everybody’s got problems today.”
116. INSTRUCTIONS: Match the type of disconfirming response with its behavioral description.
a. impervious
b. tangential
c. personalized complaining
d. impersonal
e. irrelevant
You see Denise smile at you, but you walk past without smiling back.
117. INSTRUCTIONS: Match the type of disconfirming response with its behavioral description.
a. impervious
b. tangential
c. personalized complaining
d. impersonal
e. irrelevant
”I wish you wouldn’t be such a slob.”
118. INSTRUCTIONS: Match the type of disconfirming response with its behavioral description.
a. impervious
b. tangential
c. personalized complaining
d. impersonal
e. irrelevant
Omar asks how your roommate is feeling; you tell him about your own health.
119. INSTRUCTIONS: Match the type of disconfirming response with its behavioral description.
a. impervious
b. tangential
c. personalized complaining
d. impersonal
e. irrelevant
Josh gets upset because Cassandra did not text him back.
120. INSTRUCTIONS: Match the following statements with the appropriate part of the assertive message
format.
a. feeling
b. behavior
c. interpretation
d. consequence
e. intention
“Whenever we fight, both of us usually wind up regretting it.”
121. INSTRUCTIONS: Match the following statements with the appropriate part of the assertive message
format.
a. feeling
b. behavior
c. interpretation
d. consequence
e. intention
“I’m worried about you.”
122. INSTRUCTIONS: Match the following statements with the appropriate part of the assertive message
format.
a. feeling
b. behavior
c. interpretation
d. consequence
e. intention
“I just want you to know how much this affects me.”
123. INSTRUCTIONS: Match the following statements with the appropriate part of the assertive message
format.
a. feeling
b. behavior
c. interpretation
d. consequence
e. intention
“You’re smoking again after you said you were quitting.”
124. INSTRUCTIONS: Match the following statements with the appropriate part of the assertive message
format.
a. feeling
b. behavior
c. interpretation
d. consequence
e. intention
“I’m thinking you just don’t like me.”
125. INSTRUCTIONS: Match the following statements with the appropriate part of the assertive message
format.
a. feeling
b. behavior
c. interpretation
d. consequence
e. intention
“Because we were five minutes late, we couldn’t be seated until intermission.”
126. INSTRUCTIONS: Match the following statements with the appropriate part of the assertive message
format.
a. feeling
b. behavior
c. interpretation
d. consequence
e. intention
“You seem pretty sure of yourself.”
127. INSTRUCTIONS: Match the following statements with the appropriate part of the assertive message
format.
a. feeling
b. behavior
c. interpretation
d. consequence
e. intention
“I’m uncomfortable about that.”
128. INSTRUCTIONS: Match the following statements with the appropriate part of the assertive message
format.
a. feeling
b. behavior
c. interpretation
d. consequence
e. intention
“I’d like to know whether you are angry.”
129. INSTRUCTIONS: Match the following statements with the appropriate part of the assertive message
format.
a. feeling
b. behavior
c. interpretation
d. consequence
e. intention
“It seems to me that you’re just trying to set me against her.”
130. INSTRUCTIONS: Match the following statements with the appropriate part of the assertive message
format.
a. feeling
b. behavior
c. interpretation
d. consequence
e. intention
“I’m happy you’re coming.”
131. INSTRUCTIONS: Match the following statements with the appropriate part of the assertive message
format.
a. feeling
b. behavior
c. interpretation
d. consequence
e. intention
“Gene didn’t call at the usual time.”
132. INSTRUCTIONS: Match the following statements with the appropriate part of the assertive message
format.
a. feeling
b. behavior
c. interpretation
d. consequence
e. intention
“You shouldn’t expect me to help you out again.”
133. INSTRUCTIONS: Match the following statements with the appropriate part of the assertive message
format.
a. feeling
b. behavior
c. interpretation
d. consequence
e. intention
“I take this to mean that you’re mad at me.”
134. INSTRUCTIONS: Match the following statements with the appropriate part of the assertive message
format.
a. feeling
b. behavior
c. interpretation
d. consequence
e. intention
“I’m really burned up about that bill.”
135. INSTRUCTIONS: Match the following statements with the appropriate part of the assertive message
format.
a. feeling
b. behavior
c. interpretation
d. consequence
e. intention
“You didn’t invite me to the party.”
136. INSTRUCTIONS: Match the following statements with the appropriate part of the assertive message
format.
a. feeling
b. behavior
c. interpretation
d. consequence
e. intention
“Ever since you said that I was wrong, I’ve been afraid to ask your opinion.”
137. INSTRUCTIONS: Match the following statements with the appropriate part of the assertive message
format.
a. feeling
b. behavior
c. interpretation
d. consequence
e. intention
“It seems like something is bothering you.”
138. INSTRUCTIONS: Match the following statements with the appropriate part of the assertive message
format.
a. feeling
b. behavior
c. interpretation
d. consequence
e. intention
“I think you’ve been ignoring me lately.”
139. Describe two of your important relationships in terms of communication climate. What factors
contribute to the overall climate in each relationship? Describe confirming and disconfirming
behaviors for each relationship that led you to your overall assessment.
140. How do defensive behaviors work in the sphere of work relationships? Given your of Gibb’s
categories, what advice would you give to a manager?
141. Describe a recent incident when you were defensive. Explain which part of your self-concept you
were protecting, and describe the consequences of your defensiveness.
142. Describe an important relationship in which you are involved in terms of a positive or negative
“spiral” of behavior. Indicate how behaviors over the past six months (or any defined segment of
time) have tended to “beget” similar behaviors in your relationship. Comment on the future
direction of your spiral.
143. Imagine the following scene: Your instructor (we’ll call him Dr. Roberts) angrily thrusts your
research paper back at you saying, “This paper is not only late, it is full of errors.” Write a response
to Dr. Roberts that demonstrates three different ways to respond using Chapter Ten’s strategies for
handling criticism nondefensively.
144. Use the Assertive Message Format to respond to one of two situations described below, labeling
each of the five parts of the message.
A friend is in the habit of borrowing your belongings and not returning them to you without you
having to ask for them back several times. Now your friend is returning a sweater of yours and
there’s a stain on it.
One of your friends has been especially supportive lately, has called often, spent time getting you
out socially and even prepared dinner for you to help you get through a difficult time.
145. Describe two examples each of confirming, disagreeing, and disconfirming messages in your own
life, and describe their consequences. Explain how each message threatens or honors the presenting
self (or “face”) of the communicators involved.
146. Describe (from your own life) or create one example each of all 12 Gibb behaviors. Explain how
each message threatens or honors the presenting self (or “face”) of the communicators involved.
147. Consider this saying, “I can be right or I can be happy.” Discuss this in terms of
defensiveness/nondefensive concepts from the text, as well as any pertinent Gibb climate
components.
148. Describe ways in which we send confirming and disconfirming messages via text and social media.
149. Describe ways in which we contribute to supportive and defensive climates via text and social
media.