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Chapter 5—Revising Your Writing
TRUE/FALSE
1. As long as you use correct grammar, punctuation, and spelling in your business writing, you will be
able to communicate your meaning.
2. Style consists of the way your message is expressed, including the effectiveness of the words,
sentences, paragraphs, and tone.
3. While composing a first draft, you should be less concerned with style and more concerned with
getting your ideas down in some form.
4. Elements of written communication such as spelling, abbreviations, and punctuation are known as
mechanics.
5. Although informal, slang expressions are vivid and widely understood.
6. A writer using the phrase "thinking outside of the box" would be admired for fresh, original thinking.
7. Completeness is the most important attribute of a business message.
8. Your written message will be clearer if it is accurate, makes use of familiar words, and includes a
number of dangling expressions.
9. Any message that omits key information is not accurate.
10. You may use long words in your business writing if the language is familiar to you and to your reader.
11. A misplaced modifier is one common type of dangling expression.
12. To be sure your message is understood, use as much specific jargon as possible when communicating
with people outside your organization.
13. Effective business writers select words to impress their readers by evoking a reaction such as
excitement, anger, or amusement.
14. Instead of using a longer, somewhat vague word such as substantial, it is better to use a shorter, more
specific word such as large.
15. Concrete language is vigorous only if it is sufficiently emotionally charged to stimulate a response.
16. Rather than eliminating long words from your business communication, use them in moderation when
appropriate.
17. You can best help readers grasp your meaning by using old, familiar clichés rather than fresh, original
language.
18. A cliché is a phrase that has been used for so long that it is not considered original.
19. Effective communicators avoid slang in business writing because it does not represent standard word
usage.
20. Because slang words are in use for long periods, people who read business documents that are several
years old should have no problem understanding them.
21. Using buzzwords in business writing is a good way to show your familiarity with issues and trends in
contemporary media.
22. Readers will see your writing as unoriginal and even monotonous if you add the ending -ize to
transform nouns into verbs (such as agenda into agendize).
23. Redundancy is an effective method of repeating and reinforcing an idea that you expressed earlier in
your message.
24. Businesspeople value redundancy in messages because they need more data on which to base their
decisions.
25. By substituting a single word for a phrase, you are "getting rid of the lard" in a sentence.
26. Hidden verbs weaken sentences because they do not emphasize the main action.
27. The phrase made a payment contains an expletive.
28. An expletive at the beginning of a sentence can make the subject of the sentence unclear.
29. In some messages, you can save space by stating information and substituting clauses for adjectives or
adverbs.
30. A sentence that consists of one independent clause that can stand alone as a complete thought is a
simple sentence.
31. The three basic sentence types are compound-complex, complex, and simple.
32. When you want to give equal weight to two closely related ideas in a single sentence, use a compound
sentence.
33. The first clause in a compound sentence receives more emphasis than the second, independent clause.
34. The independent clause of a complex sentence should contain the supplemental information.
35. You can keep your business writing interesting and express relationships between ideas by varying the
pattern and length of your sentences.
36. An effective business message includes sentences that range from 22 to 32 words in length.
37. The passive voice focuses attention on the entity receiving the action rather than performing the action.
38. When you use the active voice, you are emphasizing the doer rather than the receiver of the action in
that sentence.
39. You should use active-voice verbs to convey negative news tactfully or to reduce emphasis on the doer
of the action.
40. Repeating a particular word in several sentences within a paragraph highlights separate ideas and
demonstrates parallelism.
41. A sentence lacks parallelism if similar ideas are expressed using different grammatical structures.
42. The purpose of parallel structure is to connect topic sentences and enhance the unity within a message.
43. By matching nouns with nouns and adjectives with adjectives, you can achieve parallel structure.
44. "Our school is buying both pens and pencils for students' use" is a sentence with proper parallel
structure.
45. "Our school is not only buying students pens but also buying them pencils" is a sentence with proper
parallel structure.
46. To summarize a paragraph's content, you should position your topic sentence at the end.
47. The purpose of a paragraph is to group topic sentences in logical order for the reader's convenience.
48. Including examples or more analysis in a paragraph helps you develop the main idea.
49. Effective writing avoids both redundancy and repetition.
50. A paragraph lacks unity when it contains sentences or details that are not directly related to the topic.
51. When each sentence flows smoothly from the sentence before it and connects smoothly to the sentence
after it, the resulting paragraph has coherence.
52. You can signal a change in direction within a message by starting a new sentence to introduce an
additional topic.
53. The purpose of using transitional words is to integrate the discussion points and unify the paragraphs.
54. The transitional word nevertheless shows a contrasting relationship.
55. The transitional word therefore indicates a step-by-step movement.
56. Pronouns can bind sentences and ideas together to create a more coherent paragraph.
57. To achieve coherence, effective writers use different terms for the same idea, such as manager and
supervisor.
58. The length of a paragraph depends on the organization's requirements, not on the reader's
comprehension level.
59. Paragraphs provide readers with a physical break, keeping your message from looking either boring
and too simplistic or intimidatingly complex.
60. One reason to control paragraph length is to avoid obscuring a key idea that appears in one of the
middle paragraphs.
61. A series of short paragraphs helps readers maintain a rhythm in their reading when they are absorbing
many new ideas.
62. Business writers aim for paragraphs that are 60 to 80 words long, with three or four sentences
supporting a single topic sentence.
63. To sound confident, effective writers often use the phrase "I know that" in front of key assertions.
64. Effective business communicators use a confident, competent tone in their messages but avoid
sounding arrogant.
65. Readers may think you are unsure of yourself if you use self-conscious phrases such as I hope in your
messages.
66. Believing that your decision is based on sound reasoning increases your risk of writing with less
confidence.
67. Writing "I am sure that you will agree" in a business letter conveys an appropriate level of confidence.
68. Using platitudes will give readers the sense that you have a condescending attitude.
69. Adapting your language to the reader's needs helps you convey an appropriately condescending
attitude.
70. Obvious flattery detracts from the sincerity of your message.
71. One way to avoid exaggeration and sound more sincere is to use only an appropriate number of
modifiers.
72. The statement "I am amazed that you filled in the form correctly" has a courteous tone.
73. Effective communicators do not signal which of the ideas in a message are the most important,
because readers should be encouraged to draw their own conclusions.
74. Putting an idea in a short, simple sentence emphasizes its importance.
75. You can emphasize an idea by putting it into the first or last paragraph.
76. Three mechanical ways to emphasize an idea are enumeration, indenting from the margin, and use of
italics.
77. To avoid influencing readers' attitudes toward an idea, you should imply but not actually say that it is
of "primary importance."
78. You are acting ethically if you imply but do not state that an idea is much more important than it is.
79. Using words such as deny and cannot helps you make a positive impression on your audience.
80. Using positive expressions helps you build goodwill among audience members.
81. To build goodwill in a business letter, use neutral expressions such as cannot and will not.
82. When writing a letter to a customer, emphasize what your organization can do rather than what it can't
do.
83. When your message emphasizes how you, as the writer, will benefit, you are applying the "you"
attitude.
84. You look selfish if your message focuses only on what the reader will get from doing what you request
in your message.
85. Because emails are short and informal, writers using this channel may begin most sentences with "I."
86. Using the passive voice when discussing a reader's mistake is often appropriate.
87. A competent communicator frequently uses the word you, regardless of whether positive or negative
news is conveyed.
88. Parallel structure is essential in report headings, but less important on bulleted lists on presentation
slides.
89. To achieve a sincere tone, avoid obvious flattery.
90. All else being equal, an idea with more space devoted to it will be judged as more important than an
idea covered more briefly.
91. Writers should ask themselves "What's in it for me?" and then write so that the answer is obvious.
92. Techniques for creating paragraph coherence include using transitional words, creating redundancy,
and building parallelism.
MULTIPLE CHOICE
93. Identify the sentence that contains specific, concrete language.
a.
The committee met several times to discuss the proposal.
b.
Many employees are dissatisfied with the change in retirement benefits.
c.
A substantial number of complaints were received from customers.
d.
Three new representatives will complete their training this week.
e.
The speaker used an emotional tone when addressing the sales meeting.
94. Style consists of
a.
the effective use of words, sentences, paragraphs, and tone.
b.
creative ideas presented in subjunctive form.
c.
the balanced use of complex, compound, and negative language.
d.
business messages organized with the main point first.
e.
frequent use of redundancy to reinforce important points.
95. Mechanics include all of the following except
a.
content.
b.
punctuation.
c.
number expression.
d.
word division.
e.
abbreviations.
96. Identify the sentence that does not contain a mechanical error.
a.
Please call the Springfield; MO, office.
b.
He ordered 6 new computer systems for the office.
c.
I understand the brochure is completed please send me a copy.
d.
The new ceo plans to improve productivity by 15% in one year.
e.
We use special packaging to protect our products.
97. Which of the following is not a good guideline for writing clearly?
a.
Be sure the message is accurate and complete.
b.
Use familiar words and phrases.
c.
Emphasize compound sentences.
d.
Avoid dangling expressions.
e.
Eliminate unnecessary jargon.
98. Your message is inaccurate if you
a.
include the who, what, when, where, and why.
b.
omit something important that readers should know.
c.
take care with the mechanics.
d.
truthfully present the facts and figures.
e.
present information without manipulating your readers.
99. To ensure ethical communication, business writers should use
a.
positive words and an emphatic tone.
b.
ambiguous, complex sentences.
c.
persuasion and tactful, indirect language.
d.
integrity, fairness, and good judgment.
e.
more information than the reader needs.
100. Which sentence effectively uses words that are familiar to businesspeople?
a.
Please ascertain whether the deliverance of merchandise will be forthcoming in the
duration of the business cycle.
b.
He was not cognizant of the actuality that he was still in a probationary period.
c.
A financial deficit may be encountered during the transitional period following the merger.
d.
The board of directors will soon meet to discuss acquiring the Sonar Company.
e.
The accountant will commence to compute the amount of monetary funds that should be
allocated for remunerations.
101. Short and simple words help business writers
a.
impress their readers.
b.
emphasize the receiver of the action.
c.
use jargon to build credibility.
d.
express their meaning without distracting readers.
e.
use redundancy in appropriate situations.
102. Long words are appropriate when
a.
slang is insufficiently formal for the message.
b.
you want to stimulate a particular reaction.
c.
short words can't convey your meaning.
d.
negative language is not practical.
e.
you are including brief subjunctive phrases.
103. By using short, simple words, you
a.
emphasize the emotional meaning rather than the logical meaning of your message.
b.
encourage readers to respond to your message using short slang words.
c.
avoid a conversational tone that can distract readers from relevant facts and figures.
d.
keep ethnocentrism out of your writing.
e.
focus readers on the content of your message, not on how it is conveyed.
104. Short and simple words
a.
should be used at all times to avoid dangling expressions.
b.
are less likely than long, complex words to be misused or misunderstood.
c.
are more effective if used in moderation.
d.
contribute to an overly conversational tone.
e.
are appropriate as supplements for clichés and jargon.
105. Identify the statement that does not contain an unnecessarily long word.
a.
Brian fabricated the events of the accident to circumvent prosecution.
b.
Please initiate the modification of the innovative computer system.
c.
Try to bring William with you, because he is vital to the meeting's success.
d.
The vice president will recapitulate the presentation about how to utilize the new software.
e.
Initiate termination procedures for employees who are not indispensable.
106. Which statement does not contain a dangling expression?
a.
Eric informed Jason about the policy changes, but he doesn't like the changes.
b.
While reviewing the corporate report, a few discrepancies were found.
c.
During a trip to the Boston office, the auditor will review the financial reports.
d.
Abraham Lincoln wrote the Gettysburg Address while traveling to Gettysburg on the back
of an envelope.
e.
The manager plans to address the use of cell phones in weekly meetings.
107. Which statement contains a dangling expression?
a.
Robert started analyzing the data after he told Jose about the deadline.
b.
Mr. Carlton, our treasurer, spoke to the bank's managers on Thursday.
c.
When you review a message, you should identify errors to be corrected.
d.
David read the memorandum to Sammy, but he didn't like the new policy.
e.
Michael asked Heather to make copies of the news article.
108. If you use clichés in your business writing, you
a.
should balance them with concrete, specific examples.
b.
need short, simple words to convey relevant facts and figures.
c.
risk having your readers misinterpret the main points you want to convey.
d.
send the message that you can't be bothered with tailoring your words to your readers.
e.
focus your readers on the content of your message, not on the way it is conveyed.
109. Identify the sentence that does not contain a cliché, slang, or a buzzword.
a.
If you want to play ball with me, you need to increase your offer.
b.
Let me take this opportunity to congratulate you on your promotion.
c.
As you requested, I sent a new catalog to the supervisor.
d.
The bottom line is that we must strategize about improving our customer relations.
e.
If I can be of further help, please do not hesitate to call me.
110. Which statement about jargon is correct?
a.
Jargon is effective when one is communicating with individuals in the same field.
b.
Jargon can help a computer technician explain a network problem to a nontechnical
manager.
c.
Business writers should use jargon to impress their readers.
d.
Slang is a synonym for jargon.
e.
Jargon should be avoided in all business situations.
111. Which guideline or statement about vigorous language is not correct?
a.
Use buzzwords frequently in written documents.
b.
Eliminate language that lacks freshness and originality.
c.
Use vigorous words to maintain the reader's interest.
d.
Select words that have a definite, unambiguous meaning.
e.
Avoid general words such as recently and several.
112. Which sentence does not contain a cliché or overused expression?
a.
According to a review of the records, you paid your bill after the due date.
b.
Please review the enclosed report and send your comments to the president before
November 20.
c.
It goes without saying that customer service representatives must be polite at all times.
d.
I'd like to take this opportunity to thank the development team for its extraordinary effort
on the project.
e.
Under separate cover you will receive three copies of the contract.
113. Which is not a reason to avoid slang in business writing?
a.
It is too informal.
b.
It is not businesslike.
c.
It is identified with a specific group of people.
d.
It is short-lived.
e.
It may not be understood by the general population.
114. Which of the following is a "buzzword"?
a.
prioritize
b.
under separate cover
c.
it turns my stomach
d.
can of worms
e.
dangling expression
115. Identify the sentence that does not contain a redundant phrase.
a.
Young adults should plan ahead for retirement at the start of their careers.
b.
Understanding absolute and relative cell references is fundamental to working with
spreadsheets.
c.
The company will give each and every employee a year-end bonus.
d.
Receive a free gift when you subscribe to our magazine.
e.
When and if profits increase by 15 percent, all employees will receive a raise.
116. Which sentence has the lowest "lard factor"?
a.
The project is delayed due to the fact that the members are of the opinion that the results
were tainted.
b.
In the event that the project is canceled, please send a memo with regard to the
cancellation to the president.
c.
The president of the corporation plans to retire at the end of the fiscal year if profits
remain high.
d.
The customer complaint is pertaining to the recent standards for the purpose of providing
safer children's toys.
e.
In view of the fact that sales are increasing, each individual employee will receive a 3
percent bonus.
117. The phrase came to an agreement is an example of
a.
an expletive.
b.
concrete, specific language.
c.
the active-passive voice.
d.
jargon.
e.
a hidden verb.
118. Which sentence does not contain a hidden verb?
a.
The lab assistant gave a demonstration on how to create a suitable sample.
b.
The office manager analyzed the financial reports.
c.
The associate dean arrived at the conclusion that the computer labs are outdated.
d.
The information technology department has a requirement for technical training.
e.
Do you have a need for a new laser printer?
119. The phrase "there is" is an example of
a.
an expletive.
b.
a hidden verb.
c.
a buzz word.
d.
the active-passive voice.
e.
jargon.
120. An expletive
a.
obscures the subject of the sentence.
b.
clarifies the meaning of a sentence.
c.
contributes to conciseness.
d.
provides a strong antecedent to a noun.
e.
substitutes for redundant language.
121. A(n) ____ sentence is often used to emphasize a single idea.
a.
passive-voice
b.
compound
c.
complex
d.
simple
e.
active-voice
122. Which of these is a compound sentence?
a.
Plans A and B are safe and convenient retirement programs for all workers.
b.
Jill will photocopy the letters, and Adam will type the envelopes.
c.
Although the data was received after the deadline, we still managed to complete the
project within one week.
d.
Please purchase paper clips, pencils, and notebooks when you go to the office supply
store.
e.
If I can buy the printer at a discount, I will; however, if I cannot, I'll wait for a sale.
123. To subordinate additional information, you can place it in
a.
a simple sentence.
b.
the second independent clause of a compound sentence.
c.
the independent clause of a complex sentence.
d.
the dependent clause of a complex sentence.
e.
a passive-voice sentence.
124. Which of these statements about sentence variety is not true?
a.
Using too many simple sentences makes writing seem choppy.
b.
Mixing negative and positive sentences maintains reader interest.
c.
Readers may have difficulty reading a message with too many long sentences.
d.
If you use different sentence patterns and lengths, your messages will be more interesting.
e.
A message that contains one long sentence after another can bore readers.
125. The point of sentence variety is to
a.
subordinate negative language within the document.
b.
balance lengthy jargon phrases with more familiar language.
c.
retain the goodwill of your readers.
d.
mix the subjunctive mood with more abstract language.
e.
keep readers interested and clarify relationships between ideas.
126. Which sentence illustrates appropriate use of the active voice?
a.
The academic reports were prepared by the associate vice president.
b.
The office contest was suggested by Nick Anderson.
c.
The First Bank and National Bank announced that they will merge.
d.
The national budget reform will be announced later this week by the president.
e.
The application for the loan extension is being processed today.
127. Which of the following is not a true statement about passive voice?
a.
You want to inform an applicant tactfully that he was not chosen for the job.
b.
The identity of the person doing the action is unimportant.
c.
It emphasizes the receiver of the action instead of the doer of the action.
d.
It may not indicate who performed the action.
e.
The verb voice, either active or passive, directly affects the verb tense.
128. In an active sentence,
a.
the subject is the receiver of the action.
b.
the subject is subordinated to the action.
c.
the action is subjunctive to the doer.
d.
the subject performs the action.
e.
the verb tense describes the doer.
129. A passive sentence
a.
contains some form of the verb to be.
b.
is usually shorter than an active sentence.
c.
includes a verb expressed in the past tense.
d.
calls reader attention to the doer of the action.
e.
is appropriate when using negative language.
130. Which of the following is not a passive sentence?
a.
The expense report will be prepared by Tony's supervisor.
b.
My supervisor submitted the expense report on Tuesday.
c.
Ten complaints have been received by headquarters staff.
d.
If the power goes out, flashlights will be distributed by the supervisor.
e.
Last night's power outage was described as responsible for the decrease in production.
131. Which sentence lacks parallelism?
a.
The seminars will be held on February 14, March 15, and April 1.
b.
Victoria is proficient not only in word processing but also in database management.
c.
Our word processing program includes pull-down menus, scroll bars, and sentences can be
checked for grammatical errors.
d.
Students will learn how to write effective messages, make persuasive speeches, and handle
themselves in interviews.
e.
The new smoke detector is both efficient and effective.
132. When you use parallelism, you match
a.
transitional expressions to their logical application.
b.
short, simple sentences with complex, compound sentences.
c.
technical terminology with corresponding definitions.
d.
infinitives with infinitives and nouns with nouns.
e.
reader benefits with key points in each paragraph.
133. Which of the following statements about parallel structure is not true?
a.
It gives sentences and paragraphs a pleasing rhythm.
b.
It should be used within bulleted lists on presentations slides.
c.
It involves the use of similar grammatical structure for similar ideas.
d.
It should be used in report headings that have equal weight.
e.
It clarifies unrelated ideas through repetition and reinforcement.
134. Which of the following sentences is a good example of parallel structure?
a.
Our company offers both vacation pay but also employee discounts.
b.
Our company is not only an industry leader and it is highly profitable.
c.
Our company will neither merge with a start-up firm nor sell its largest division.
d.
Our company is also one of the largest in the field, not only the most profitable.
e.
Our company will either boost its profitability or reduce its expenses.
135. Parallel structure should be used for
