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Refining: Observation and Reflection of Feelings
18. Feelings are so important in the counseling process that
you should reflect every feeling you observe as it comes along.
you should only reflect those feelings that are directly apparent.
you should avoid reflecting discrepant feelings.
Refining: Observation and Reflection of Feelings
19. Write reflections of feeling, paraphrases, and encouragers to the following client statements.
a. “I don’t like this test. It is too long and difficult. It makes me angry when the instructor provides open-ended statements
and expects me to provide the correct answer.”
b. “I’m so pleased with myself. I did well on the examination in spite of the unfairness of the instructor. He’s a nice person,
but it was I who straightened the situation out. But on the other hand, he did sit and listen to me when I complained. A
funny person he is.”
c. “How do you expect me to handle role-playing, a skill I don’t even understand? I‘ve read the book three times and still it
isn’t clear. I’ve tried, but I am just so confused in this course.
20. Write three responses: present tense, past tense, and future tense, to each of the following client statements. Indicate
whether your response is an open or closed question, a paraphrase, an encourager, or a reflection of feeling.
a. “I’ve lived alone all my life. My parents died when I was young and it has been tough. But I’ve survived and I’m proud
of what I have done.“
b. “Well, one thing’s for sure. My stepfather was really hard on me. I can’t say I really like him, but I do respect him a
great deal.”
c. “But then, my mother-in–law right now really bugs me. She reminds me of my stepmother—always harsh and brassy.
Not sensitive at all.”