CHAPTER 9
COMMUNICATION IN CLOSE RELATIONSHIPS
1. It is quite possible to have a wide range of relationships with coworkers, roommates, and even
family members without having much intimacy at all.
2. Intimacy can come from intellectual sharing.
3. Physical intimacy is obviously the best type of relational intimacy.
4. By definition, an intimate relationship must exhibit all four intimacy dimensions.
5. Male-male relationships involve less disclosure than male-female relationships.
6. Recent research has shown that men achieve intimacy through shared activities.
7. Because men share less personal information and feelings than women, they are not capable of
achieving the type of intimate relationships that women have.
8. Emotional expression is the only way to develop close relationships.
9. Because cultures like Japan and Taiwan are collectivist, people there communicate the same with
members of “in–groups” and “out–groups” alike.
10. Some studies show that relational intimacy may develop more quickly through computer-mediated
communication than face-to-face.
11. Focusing on having intimate communication daily will lead to extremely satisfying relationships.
12. One researcher concluded that close relationships “may be the single most important source of life
satisfaction and emotional well-being, across different ages and cultures.”
13. Intimacy is closely linked to life satisfaction.
14. IM-ing, blogging, and Facebooking do not enhance intimacy in interpersonal relationships.
15. Managing your privacy settings on social network sites could have an impact on intimacy in cyber–
relationships.
16. While workplace romances can be messy, some research has shown that 34 percent of people who
said they dated a coworker ended up marrying that person.
17. Commitment is only important in some types of interpersonal relationships.
18. Telling someone “You can count on me” will usually guarantee loyalty because it’s a measure of
surefire commitment.
19. Research shows that transgressors who have been forgiven are less likely to repeat their offenses
than those who have not received forgiveness.
20. Expressing regret can be more important in repairing a relational transgression than saying “I’m
sorry.”
21. Research suggests that the most effective conversations about forgiveness contain two elements—
an explicit statement of your thoughts or feelings, and a discussion of the implications of the
transgression and the future of the relationship.
22. One type of communication that helps maintain relationships is evaluation.
23. Transgressions are always intentional.
24. The only benefit of forgiving a transgression is that the relationship might be repaired.
25. One study found that the two least forgivable offenses of dating partners were sexual infidelity and
unjustified suspicion.
26. Attachment theory argues that, while secure attachment in childhood leads to confident adult
communicators, insecure attachment has little to no impact on later life.
27. The way we communicate in our families is shaped by birth order.
28. Labels used by family members such as “the smart one” and “the cute one” can create self-fulfilling
prophecies.
29. Communicating effectively with family members is important because we can’t choose them, and
we will likely always feel their influence even if we cut them from our lives.
30. According to the text, parents and children do not really change their communication patterns
during the transitional years of emerging adulthood.
31. Children who experience insecure bonds with family in their early life often grow up anxious about
new relationships, uncomfortable with intimacy, and worried about losing relationships.
32. The way parents communicate with their young children creates secure or insecure bonds that have
powerful and lasting effects.
33. Whereas most other interpersonal communication is transactional, as described in Chapter One,
families tend to have more linear interactions.
34. Children who grow up in families with high conversation orientation have a greater number of
interpersonal skills in their later relationships.
35. Research demonstrates that one family communication pattern isn’t necessarily more productive or
satisfying than another.
36. Young adults from laissez-faire backgrounds are more confident listeners and more intellectually
flexible than those from consensual or pluralistic families.
37. Friendships are more likely to end than any other relationship.
38. Friendships are either task-oriented or relationship-oriented, but not both.
39. Men are more likely to create and express closeness through shared activities than through talking
about personal matters.
40. Practical action such as helping a friend move is more characteristic of female-to-female rather than
male-to-male expressions of friendship.
41. Research supports the idea that—in “friends with benefits” relationships—women are more
typically focused on “friends” and men are more likely to be interested in “benefits.”
42. The average Facebook user has 400 friends.
43. It is possible to have close quality friendships with more than 150 people.
44. Most Facebook “friends” could probably be more accurately labeled “acquaintances.”
45. A romantic turning point is always positive.
46. The first big fight in a relationship is a common romantic turning point.
47. Research suggests the validating conflict style is ideal for all couples.
48. Research suggests that relationships are more likely to be happy and successful if the couple has at
least five times more positive interactions than negative ones.
49. One researcher suggests that if couples maintain a “magic ratio” of positive to negative interactions
they will be likely to be more successful.
50. Assuming your partner speaks the same love language as you is the key to success.
51. The love language that expresses love more clearly than any other is “words of affirmation.”
52. The giving of gifts is a shallow and materialistic act and certainly does not express one’s love
toward another.
53. It is difficult to learn a new love language. Therefore, we are probably better off finding a romantic
partner with a style for expressing love that matches ours.
54. The text states that romantic partners who fear rejection and abandonment are likely to act in ways
that increase the odds of their fears coming to pass. This example best relates to which concept
from Chapter Two?
a. identity management
b. self-congruence
c. self-fulfilling prophecy
d. self-serving bias
e. halo effect
55. Siblings who are ___________ are often more extraverted and concerned with control than their
brothers and sisters.
a. first-born
b. middle-born
c. last-born
d. “caboose” children
e. none of the above
56. Envisioning our family members represented in a mobile, with photos of each member suspended
by a thread and connected to bars containing images of other members, may help us better
understand the idea that
a. family communication is involuntary.
b. family communication is role-driven.
c. family communication is formative.
d. family communication patterns vary significantly.
e. families are systems.
57. Which of the following is not a characteristic of families described in the text?
a. Family systems are interdependent.
b. Family systems are manifested through communication.
c. Family systems are nested.
d. Families are more than just the sum of their parts.
e. All of the above are characteristics of families.
58. According to research studies, which family communication pattern produces more productive and
satisfying results?
a. No pattern is necessarily better than another.
b. consensual
c. both consensual and pluralistic
d. protective
e. both protective and laissez-faire
59. When Marlina and Zach fight, they blow things out of proportion, interrupt each other, and yell.
Their conflict style is most likely
a. volatile.
b. avoidant
c. validating.
d. protective
e. laissez-faire.
60. Having too many online friends can mean others perceive you as
a. not very social.
b. someone whose relationships are less than genuine.
c. not very friendly.
d. both b and c.
e. all of the above.
61. Research shows that social-networking sites are used primarily to
a. meet new friends.
b. establish new romantic relationships.
c. maintain current friendships.
d. rekindle old friendships.
e. both c and d.
62. Heterosexual women value their friendships with gay men because
a. they often share interests.
b. potential for romantic complications is little to none.
c. the women feel more attractive.
d. all of the above.
e. none of the above.
63. The Greek word that describes the kind of affection long term couples or working partners might
feel is
a. storge.
b. philia.
c. pragma.
d. agape.
e. eros.
64. An example of a romantic turning point might be
a. a specific date.
b. a Facebook declaration.
c. the first big fight.
d. the first kiss.
e. All of the above are examples.
65. Which of the following is not true of friendship and social media?
a. Social networking sites are used to maintain current friendships and revive old ones.
b. Social media isn’t a replacement for face–to-face communication.
c. If you have too few Facebook friends, people might perceive you to be less friendly.
d. The more friends you have on Facebook…the better.
e. Social networking sites are used primarily to build new relationships.
66. Which of the following statements accurately describes the research about “friends with benefits?”
a. Partners regularly check in with each other to discuss the status of their relationship.
b. Sex and friendships almost never mix well.
c. Neither partner has any fear of developing more serious feelings.
d. Neither partner has any fear that feelings will go unreciprocated.
e. These relationships are often problematic for the same reasons they are attractive.
67. Which of the following statements summarizes Scott Johnson’s thoughts about his bi-racial family
in the “Looking At Diversity” reading?
a. He is certain racial differences will not impact the children in his bi-racial family.
b. He is certain racial differences will significantly impact the children in his bi-racial family.
c. He is unsure how much of an impact racial differences will have on the children in his bi-racial
family.
d. He is sure that they are all learning a lot and communicating frankly about the role of race in
their lives.
e. Both c and d.
68. Social psychologist Roy Baumeister makes the case that, on average, most people want
___________ close, important relationships in their lives at any given time.
a. one to two
b. two to three
c. three to four
d. four to six
e. more than six
69. All of the following are dimensions of intimacy except which one?
a. physical
b. emotional
c. shared activities
d. intellectual
e. All of these answer are correct dimensions.
70. An intimate relationship
a. may only exhibit one or two dimensions.
b. can be achieved by sharing activities.
c. can be created through exchanging important feelings.
d. can come from exchanging ideas.
e. All of these answer are correct.
71. Research of male and female intimacy styles shows that
a. differences are not as great as some people might think.
b. women disclose more than men.
c. women disclose more personal information than men.
d. men grow close by doing things together.
e. All of these answer are correct.
72. Members of an individualistic culture like the United States
a. disclose the same no matter what group is being disclosed to.
d. rarely show emotions.
c. are not considered very romantic.
d. act more familiar with strangers and disclose more personal information.
e. shy away from public displays of affection.
73. Some studies show that computer-mediated communication
a. always ensures intimacy.
b. enhances verbal, emotional, and social intimacy in interpersonal relationships.
c. is harmful to sustaining intimacy.
d. results in one level of self-disclosure.
e. None of these answers are correct.
74. According to the text, all of the following are strategies that couples use to keep their relationships
satisfying except
a. positivity.
b. social networks.
c. openness.
d. dividing chores equally.
e. assurances.
75. Of the following, what is not a category of relational transgressions?
a. minor vs. significant
b. one-time vs. incremental
c. deliberate vs. intentional
d. social vs. relational
e. open vs. private
76. Omid and Micayla have an agreement that he will call to tell her when he will be late from work so
she won’t worry. When he forgets, Micayla is upset because of what type of transgression?
a. minor
b. significant
c. relational
d. deliberate
e. incremental
77. The benefit of forgiveness is
a. less emotional distress.
b. less aggression.
c. improvement of cardiovascular functioning.
d. restoration of the damaged relationship.
e. All of these choices are beneficial.
78. One type of relational transgression is
a. unfaithfulness.
b. verbal hostility.
c. rage.
d. criticism in front of others.
e. All of these choices are types of relational transgressions.
79. A research study found that college students use the following relational maintenance strategies
most in email.
a. openness and social networks
b. social networks and sharing tasks
c. positivity and assurances
d. openness and assurances
e. sharing tasks and openness
80. All of the following are major indicators of a committed romantic relationship except for
a. providing affection.
b. maintaining integrity.
c. create a relational future.
d. making an effort to not over-communicate.
e. creating a positive relational atmosphere.
INSTRUCTIONS for questions 81–84: Match each statement with the family communication pattern it
characterizes.
a. consensual
b. pluralistic
c. protective
d. laissez-faire
81. Fifteen-year old Bela wants to get her nose pierced. She feels comfortable making her case and
discussing the idea with other family members, but the decision rests with her parents.
82. The family is trying to decide where to go for summer vacation. All family members—and maybe
even other relatives—get to weigh in with their perspectives until a consensus is reached.
83. Most family members do their own thing and make their own decisions without much discussion.
127
84. Twelve-year old Russell asks his parents if he can attend a rock concert. They say “no” and end the
discussion there. Russell does not bring it up again.
85. Discuss the four dimensions of intimacy in a relationship that is important to you. Explain your
satisfaction with the intimacy or distance in each area. Relate any other factors (change,
independence, culture, gender, etc.) that affect your intimacy in this relationship.
Answer: will vary Type: E Pages: 278-279 Evaluation
86. Discuss the differences between masculine and female intimacy styles. Include research findings
from your text to support your discussion.
Answer: will vary Type: E Pages: 279-280 Comprehension
87. Explain how gender, culture and/or mediated communication affect intimacy in one of your
important relationships.
Answer: will vary Type: E Pages: 279-283 Application
88. Describe how the roles in your family are created and perpetuated through communication.
Answer: will vary Type: E Pages: 285-286 Application
89. Describe the characteristics of family systems, and explain how they apply to your own family.
Answer: will vary Type: E Pages: 286-287 Application
90. Describe the communication patterns in your own or another family. In your opinion, how effective
are these patterns? What can be done to make communication more effective and/or maintain the
current level of effectiveness?
Answer: will vary Type: E Pages: 287-289, 298-301 Evaluation
91. Give examples of several different types of communication in friendships. How effective is your
communication with friends, and what communication strategies can improve and/or maintain your
friendships?
Answer: will vary Type: E Pages: 290-291, 298-301 Evaluation
92. Identify one or more turning points in your own or another romantic relationship. Describe the
conflict styles of the partners. What communication strategies may help to improve and/or maintain
the relationship?
Answer: will vary Type: E Pages: 295-296, 298-304 Evaluation
93. Identify the love languages spoken in your own or another romantic relationship. Explain how
effectively each person adapts to the other’s love language. Make suggestions for improvement, if
necessary.
Answer: will vary Type: E Pages: 297-298 Comprehension
94. Explain why relationships require maintenance and the five strategies couples use to help maintain
them.
Answer: will vary Type: E Pages: 299-300 Comprehension
95. Define a relational transgression and provide some examples of specific types of transgressions.
Also, explain the four categories of transgressions.
Answer: will vary Type: E Page: 302 Comprehension