CHAPTER 8
COMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICS
1. Dialectical tensions arise when a relationship is new and tend to disappear after the first two years.
2. A person can be “too competent.” We are generally attracted to those who are talented yet have
visible flaws like us.
3. According to Chapter Eight, we are usually attracted to people who are similar to us.
4. Small talk typically occurs during the initiating stage of an interpersonal relationship.
5. The experimenting stage of interpersonal relationships is characterized by small talk.
6. According to your text, we are more attracted to people who are good at what they do but admit
their mistakes.
7. Reciprocal liking builds attractiveness.
8. Social circles merge and the relational partners take on a new relational identity in the intensifying
stage of relationships.
9. Differentiation in relationships is always negative, since it is part of the “coming apart” process.
10. The circumscribing stage of interpersonal relationships involves total avoidance of the other.
11. The initiating stage of interpersonal relationships is usually brief.
12. Attraction to others is greatest when we perceive we are similar to them in a high percentage of
important areas, like goals and beliefs.
13. Differences strengthen a relationship when they are complementary.
14. Dialectical tensions exist in relationships when two incompatible forces or pressures exist at the
same time.
15. It is impossible to like someone without being immediate with them.
16. Immediacy only occurs through nonverbal behavior such as eye contact and facial expressions.
17. The person who exercises the greatest amount of conversational control doesn’t always make the
decisions in interpersonal relationships.
18. Metacommunication is communication about communication.
19. Affinity is defined as the degree to which people like or appreciate one another.
20. There are two types of relational control: decision control and conversation control.
21. Metacommunication is a destructive substitute for real communication.
22. Verbal metacommunication is a necessary ingredient in successful relationships.
23. Relational messages deal most commonly with control, immediacy, affinity, or respect.
24. Affinity messages can be either positive or negative.
25. Whereas affinity involves liking, respect involves esteem.
26. Liking or loving is a better predictor of relational satisfaction than respect.
27. All appropriate self-disclosure leads to liking.
28. The two key ingredients in successful self-disclosure are reciprocity and timing.
29. When we are trying to decide whether a relationship with another person is no longer “worth the
effort,” we are using the social exchange formula.
30. Asking someone, “What’s your major?” is an example of uncertainty reduction in the
experimenting stage.
31. The move from initiating to experimenting occurs at the same pace for both those communicating
in cyberspace and face-to-face.
32. The intensifying stage is the time when individuals give up some characteristics of their old selves
and develop shared identities.
33. It is possible for a business partnership to move to a bonding stage.
34. In the stagnating stage, communication between members decreases in quantity and quality.
35. All relationships begin, progress, decline, and end in the same linear fashion based on Knapp’s
developmental stages.
36. The levels of connection and autonomy that we seek can change over time.
37. Some couples never experience distance in their relationship.
38. The dialectical tension strategy couples use when they choose one end of the dialectical spectrum at
some times and the other end at other times is called segmentation.
39. The dialectical tension strategy whereby couples simultaneously accept opposing forces without
trying to diminish them is called integration.
40. Rules about self-disclosure vary between cultures.
41. Almost all verbal messages have a content dimension as well as convey relational information.
42. Relational messages are frequently nonverbal.
43. Relational dimensions of messages make statements about how the parties feel toward one another.
44. Partners tend to view one another as more attractive over time.
45. Research suggests that attraction to partners who have complementary temperaments might be
rooted in biology.
46. It is impossible to achieve closeness through the kind of virtual proximity the Internet provides.
47. The authors explain that understanding relational dynamics and communication patterns in
relationships is more important than agreeing on a definition of the word relationship.
48. Attraction to appearance is a significantly better predictor of mate choice than similar values about
politics or religion.
49. People with complementary financial management styles tend to be attracted to one another, but the
differences can lead to significant conflict.
50. Access to profiles on Facebook and other social media sites can actually shorten the length of time
a couple spends in the experimenting stage.
51. Couples who rely on one method for managing dialectical tensions have the most productive
results.
52. Which of the following was found to be true about lying in online dating profiles?
a. The more deceptive a dater’s profile was the less likely they were to use “I.”
b. Fabricators tend to write shorter self-descriptions.
c. Liars often flip their language, as in “not sad” instead of “happy.”
d. b and c
e. all of the above
53. Agreeing to rules about how often couples will or won’t talk and text via cell phones can help to
manage which dialectical tension?
a. connection vs. autonomy
b. openness vs. privacy
c. predictability vs. novelty
d. denial vs. disorientation
e. none of the above
54. Which of the strategies for managing dialectical tensions are most effective, according to research?
a. balance
b. integration
c. recalibration
d. reaffirmation
e. b, c, and d are seen as the most productive
110
55. A study of 78 Internet dating profiles showed that about __________ percent strayed from the truth
on some level.
a. 20
b. 50
c. 65
d. 80
e. 98
56. A couple might declare themselves “Facebook official” (or FBO) in which stage of relational
development?
a. initiating
b. intensifying
c. integrating
d. bonding
e. circumscribing
57. In Chapter Eight’s “Looking At Diversity” reading, Kevin Schomaker talks about how
communicating on the Internet makes it easier to meet people since he
a. is very shy.
b. is overweight.
c. stutters.
d. is physically disabled.
e. None of these choices are correct.
58. According to the text, we are usually attracted to people who
a. like us.
b. are high self-disclosers.
c. are perfect.
d. approve of us even in ways we know are inaccurate.
e. live far away from us
59. According to Knapp’s model of interaction stages, symbolic public gestures that show the world
that a relationship exists usually occur in which stage in interpersonal relationships?
a. experimenting
b. intensifying
c. bonding
d. integrating
e. circumscribing
60. Which of the following does not typically occur in the intensifying stage of interpersonal
relationships?
a. The parties spend an increasing amount of time together.
b. The parties begin to take on an identity as a social unit.
c. The parties hint and flirt.
d. Feelings are expressed nonverbally.
e. The parties might take trips together.
61. Social exchange theory suggests that we often seek out people who can give us
a. rewards greater than or equal to the costs we encounter in dealing with them.
b. more self-esteem.
c. relational rewards rather than physical ones.
d. something in exchange for what we give them.
e. both relational and physical things without demanding anything of us.
62. “Why don’t you go ahead and visit your friends without me this weekend. I’ll stick around and
catch up on my studies.” This statement typifies which relational stage?
a. integrating
b. differentiating
c. bonding
d. terminating
e. intensifying
63. When two opposing or incompatible forces exist simultaneously in an interpersonal relationship,
the struggle to achieve these opposing goals creates what is called a
a. collectivistic tension.
b. differentiating end state.
c. counterfeit goal state.
d. dialectical tension.
e. proximity problem.
64. Conflicting desires for both intimacy and the lack of it in an interpersonal relationship lead to the
a. connection-autonomy dialectic.
b. cohesion-revolt dialectic.
c. predictability-novelty dialectic.
d. openness-privacy dialectic.
65. The strategy where communicators respond to one end of the dialectical spectrum and ignore the
other is
a. denial.
b. disorientation.
c. alternation.
d. segmentation.
e. recalibration.
66. Judith and Natalie work for the same employer and often have lunch together to talk about their
current romances, problems with their families, and apartment headaches. Most Saturday
afternoons they play tennis together. Which relationship stage do they seem to be in?
a. initiating
b. differentiating
c. bonding
d. intensifying
e. circumscribing
67. Molly makes an excuse not to attend a party she knows Jack is invited to. She’s most likely in
which stage with Jack?
a. initiating
b. avoiding
c. circumscribing
d. experimenting
e. bonding
68. Almost every message has
a. content dimension.
b. relational dimension.
c. both a content and a relational dimension.
d. no dimensions unless the communicators intend them to.
e. an unintentional message.
69. The relational dimension of a message
a. deals with one or more social needs.
b. makes statements about how the parties feel toward one another.
c. are usually expressed nonverbally.
d. All of these choices are correct.
e. None of these choices are correct.
70. Your roommate says, “It’s your turn to take out the trash” in a demanding tone of voice. If you
want to find out the relational dimension of the message, you should
a. remind your roommate nicely that you took the trash out last night.
b. use perception checking to see if your roommate is upset with you.
c. negotiate other ways of dealing with the trash problem.
d. ask your roommate’s friends to explain the real problem.
e. point out how defensive your roommate sounds.
71. In any relationship, the power to determine what will happen in the relationship is a type of
relational control called
a. decision control.
b. conversation control.
c. distributional control.
d. powerful control.
e. context control.
72. Talking the most, interrupting the other person, and changing the topic most often are all common
indicators of
a. conversation control.
b. decision control.
c. powerful control.
d. context control.
e. distributional control.
73. Whenever we discuss a relationship with another, we are
a. arguing.
b. improving our relationship.
c. self-disclosing.
d. metacommunicating.
e. receiving double messages.
74. The degree to which the partners in an interpersonal relationship like or appreciate one another is
called
a. appreciation.
b. self-respect.
c. the communication of honesty.
d. affinity.
e. the like-love phenomenon.
75. The stage where a couple might come up with “our song” is
a. initiating.
b. experimenting.
c. intensifying.
d. integrating.
e. bonding.
76. The best predictor of whether a couple will be friends after reaching the terminating stage is
a. whether they have children.
b. whether they were friends before their emotional involvement.
c. whether they went to counseling.
d. whether communication was positive during the break-up.
e. b and d
77. “I was feeling trapped” is communication that characterizes what dialectical tension?
a. connection-autonomy
b. openness-privacy
c. predictability-novelty
d. win-lose
e. None of these choices are correct.
78. The term used to describe messages that people exchange, verbally or nonverbally, about their
relationship is
a. microcommunication.
b. conversation.
c. discourse.
d. metacommunication.
e. miscommunication.
79. Saying to your partner, “I wish you didn’t use that tone of voice with me” is an example of
a. metadata.
b. relational transgression.
c. the connection-autonomy dialectic.
d. metacommunication.
e. None of these choices are correct.
80. All of the following are true about similarity research except which one?
a. For the most part, we like people who are similar to us.
b. Communication ability is more important to relational happiness than being similar.
c. Being similar to others can boost your ego.
d. Attraction is greatest when we’re similar to others in areas like goals and beliefs.
e. We tend to have stronger dislike for people who are similar to us but offensive.
81. We are often attracted to people who
a. we find physically attractive.
b. are different but can satisfy our needs.
c. are similar to us.
d. we interact with frequently.
e. All of these choices are correct.
82. The stage where partners act in old, familiar ways and no growth occurs is
a. differentiation.
b. circumscribing.
c. stagnating.
d. avoiding.
e. terminating.
83. One of the key differences between marriages that end in separation and those that are restored to
their former intimacy is
a. how long the couple remained in the integration stage.
b. how much metacommunication occurs.
c. the types of relational transgressions that happened.
d. the communication that occurs when the partners are unsatisfied.
e. None of these choices are correct.
84. According to your text, the process of getting to know others by gaining more information about
them is called
a. initiating.
b. approach behavior.
c. networking.
d. uncertainty reduction.
e. All of these choices are correct.
85. Maya is getting tired of the Friday night routine of eating out at the same restaurant with her
husband. She is struggling with what dialectical tension?
a. connection-autonomy
b. openness-privacy
c. predictability-novelty
d. alternation-segmentation
e. None of these choices are correct
86. A couple on their second marriage each share many feelings with each other, but they keep most
details of their previous marriages private. They are managing the openness-privacy dialectic with
the strategy of
a. denial.
b. alternation.
c. segmentation.
d. balance.
e. recalibration.
87. Relationships
a. are constantly changing.
b. can be characterized by dialectical tensions.
c. are affected by culture.
d. typically progress from one stage to another.
e. All of these choices are true about relationships.
88. Speed daters are most influenced by which factor of attraction?
a. appearance
b. similarity
c. complementarity
d. reciprocal attraction
e. appropriate disclosure
Answer: a Type: M Page: 250 Knowledge
INSTRUCTIONS for questions 89–93: Match the statement below with the relational stage it best describes.
a. avoiding
b. circumscribing
c. experimenting
d. integrating
e. differentiating
89. Relational partners attempt to reduce uncertainty and to decide if the relationship is worth pursuing.
90. Relational partners begin to share identities and their social circles merge.
91. Relational partners begin to withdraw from one another to avoid disagreement
92. Relational partners create physical distance between one another and make excuses to reduce
contact.
93. Relational partners shift from “we” orientation and use more “me” messages.
INSTRUCTIONS for questions 94–98: Match the statement below with the relational stage it best describes.
a. initiating
b. intensifying
c. bonding
d. stagnating
e. terminating
94. Marcus shakes Francine’s hand and asks her what she thinks about the weather.
95. Marcus and Francine get engaged.
96. Marcus and Francine decide to break up and date other people.
97. Marcus daydreams about Francine, and gets goosebumps when he thinks of her.
98. Marcus and Francine behave toward one another in old, familiar ways without much feeling.
99. Pick two people you know, one with whom you want to strengthen your relationship and one to
whom you are not particularly attracted. Using the interpersonal attraction variables in the text,
analyze the reasons why you want/don’t want to form a relationship with each person.
Answer: will vary Type: E Pages: 250-255 Analysis
100. Define the four types of relational messages and illustrate each of them with examples from your
life.
Answer: will vary Type: E Pages: 269-271 Application
101. Describe each of Knapp’s relational stages, those of “coming together” and “coming apart.” Use a
personal relationship and explain the stage(s) that you have gone through including the
communication used to reflect each stage.
Answer: will vary Type: E Pages: 255-261 Application
102. Identify a dialectical tension in one of your interpersonal relationships. Explain how this tension has
affected the relationship and identify/explain the strategy (or strategies) you use to manage the
dialectical tension.
Answer: will vary Type: E Pages: 262-266 Application
103. Similarity is considered a significant reason for why we form relationships. Explain in detail the
various findings of similarity research as they apply to our attraction to others.
Answer: will vary Type: E Page: 251 Comprehension
104. One characteristic of relationships is that they are constantly changing. Explain this principle and
include experiences from one of your own significant relationships in your discussion.
Answer: will vary Type: E Pages: 267 Application
105. Describe specific ways relationships are and aren’t affected by cultural difference. Explain some
ways in which cultural differences can make relationships challenging, and identify specific skills
that could help manage these challenges.
Answer: will vary Type: E Pages: 267-268 Evaluation
106. Explain the various ways in which online communication and social media affect the reasons we
form relationships.
Answer: will vary Type: E Pages: 250-254 Comprehension
107. Discuss how messages include both a content and relational dimension. Provide specific examples
in your explanation.
Answer: will vary Type: E Pages: 268-271 Comprehension
108. How can you use metacommunication to improve your relationships? Be specific and give
examples.