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CHAPTER 11
MANAGING INTERPERSONAL CONFLICTS
1. Research has shown that strong marriages manage conflict in constructive ways.
2. Destructive fights often start because the initiator confronts a partner who isn’t ready for a
confrontation.
3. Interdependence must exist between two parties in order for a conflict to exist.
4. A conflict can exist only when both parties are aware of a disagreement.
5. One key to the win-win approach to conflict resolution is to look for the single best solution at the
beginning of your conversation.
6. The text says that “stopping and counting to ten” applies to win-win problem solving.
7. As long as one person in the relationship is aware of the disagreement, a conflict exists.
8. The win-win approach to conflict resolution requires parties to reach a solution through
compromise.
9. With enough skill you should be able to use win-win problem solving successfully in almost any
conflict.
10. When people express hostility in obscure ways, “passive aggression” occurs.
11. A full-fledged conflict will not occur unless the individuals involved try to prevent one another
from achieving their goals.
12. Direct aggression is described as physical attacks and swearing, but does not include teasing or
nonverbal gestures.
13. Gender is the most important variable in determining conflict style.
14. The situation at hand and the behavior of the other person in the conflict are more powerful
determinants of a person’s conflict style than gender.
15. Some scholars assert that conflict style is often determined simply by a person’s biological makeup.
16. A conflict can exist even if the parties in conflict are not dependent on each other.
17. College students who kept diaries of their relationships reported that they took part in about 10
arguments per week.
18. Avoidance is never an effective conflict style to choose.
19. An avoiding conflict style reflects the belief that there is no good way to resolve the conflict at
hand.
20. In high-context, collectivist countries, avoidance and accommodation are considered positive,
appropriate ways to handle conflict.
21. Even when accommodation is a genuine act of kindness, it is not considered an acceptable style
because the accommodator is showing a lack of regard for him/herself.
22. Compromise is considered a win-win conflict style because each person gets at least some of what
they want.
23. What conflict style to choose should be determined by the style you are most comfortable using.
24. Collaboration is considered the single “best” way to resolve a conflict.
25. Conflict is considered relational because it is determined by the way the parties interact with each
other.
26. In a symmetrical conflict style, the partners use different but mutually reinforcing behaviors.
27. A complementary conflict style can be problematic for couples, but a symmetrical one will not be.
28. Conflict rituals are not necessarily wrong until they become the only way relational partners handle
their conflicts.
29. Probably the most important cultural factor in shaping attitudes toward conflict is an orientation
toward individualism or collectivism.
30. The ethnic background of communicators is not a significant factor in their views regarding
conflict.
31. A constructive conflict style is rarely used, due in part to people not being aware that it is a viable
alternative to a competitive approach.
32. A win-win, collaborative approach might be beneficial, but it isn’t very realistic to use due to its
detail and complicated structure.
33. Although avoidance of conflict is tempting, your partner is likely to experience more frustration and
discomfort than he/she would if you were to face your conflicts in a constructive way.
34. Lack of time for yourself and others is a common source of conflict in relationships.
35. Controlling resources like money, staffing, and time in order to keep employees from being
successful is a form of workplace bullying.
36. Research shows that investing time and money in mentoring others pays off for the protégé but
rarely for the mentor.
37. Due to the “Queen Bee” complex, women are less likely to invest time in mentoring, coaching, and
sponsoring other women because they are afraid new success will undermine their own.
38. Contempt is communicated verbally rather than nonverbally.
39. Destructive behaviors included in the “four horsemen” described by researcher John Gottman are
likely to feed off each other and develop into destructive conflict rituals.
40. Women are more likely than men to view withdrawal from conflict as more harmful to the
relationship than do men.
41. If you listen to your partner sincerely, avoid judgmental attacks, and empathize with his/her
concerns, there’s a good chance you’ll get the same behavior in return.
42. If both partners are willing, the collaborative win-win approach is very likely to be successful.
43. Which of the following strategies is not recommend as a way to manage workplace bullying?
a. Reframe your thinking.
b. Negotiate with the offender.
c. Appeal to a third party.
d. Back off.
e. All of the above are recommended strategies.
44. Which of the following is not an example of workplace bullying?
a. assertive language
b. impossible deadlines
c. behind the back criticism
d. withholding resources employees need to be successful
e. nit picking
45. In the “Looking At Diversity” reading, Marilyn Jorgensen recommends which of the following
strategies when working with people from a different cultural background?
a. Face conflict head on, and get to the bottom of any conflicts right away.
b. Slow down and adopt an attitude of curiosity.
c. Show genuine interest in the other person.
d. both b and c
e. none of the above
46. Stonewalling sends a(n) __________ message to the other person.
a. assertive message
b. confirming
c. disagreeing
d. disconfirming
e. competing
47. Researcher John Gottman has been able to predict with over 90 percent accuracy whether a
marriage will end in divorce by looking for evidence of
a. complementary conflict styles.
b. the four horsemen of destructive conflict styles.
c. crazymaking behaviors.
d. direct aggression.
e. pseudoaccomodation.
48. Men are more likely than women to
a. be more competitive.
b. be more cooperative.
c. give reasons for their suggestions.
d. gossip, backbite, and exclude others.
e. begin proposals with the word “lets.”
49. Women are more likely than men to say “we have to talk about it” because
a. women are more accommodating than men.
b. women are more insecure than men.
c. women view withdrawal from a conflict as more injurious than men.
d. women are more demanding than men.
e. women are more direct than men.
50. In a survey of conflict views of college men and women, women were described as being
a. more concerned with maintaining the relationship during a conflict.
b. more concerned with power in the conflict.
c. more interested in the content of the conflict.
d. more ego-involved in the conflict than men.
e. All of these answers are correct.
51. Complementary and symmetrical conflict styles have been shown to produce
a. marriages that got back together after conflict.
b. couples who find other mates while getting divorced.
c. a greater percentage of divorces that are settled amicably.
d. both “good” results as well as “bad” ones.
e. divorces that only have the facade of politeness.
52. Individuals in low-context cultures typically resolve conflict by
a. avoidance.
b. indirect communication.
c. nonassertion.
d. All of these answers are correct.
e. None of these answers are correct.
53. An uncontrolled, spontaneous “explosion,” a “Vesuvius,” is
a. encouraged by your text as a first step to solving conflict.
b. therapeutic when you feel it’s impossible to be relational and your partner understands what
you’re doing.
c. a great way of eliminating defensive behaviors by “clearing the air.”
d. one way to make sure your partner will listen to you.
e. All of these answers are correct.
54. Win-win problem solving is seldom used because
a. there is a lack of awareness of it.
b. emotional reflexes prevent constructive solutions.
c. it requires both persons’ cooperation.
d. win-win problem solving is actually the most used problem-solving style of all.
e. a, b, and c are correct.
55. A person who buys a piece of new furniture, finds it damaged, and says nothing because he doesn’t
want to confront the retailer, is engaging in the personal conflict style of
a. avoiding.
b. accommodating.
c. indirect communication.
d. compromising.
e. None of these answers are correct.
56. In order for a conflict to exist, two interdependent parties must perceive
a. incompatible goals.
b. scarce resources.
c. interference from the other party in achieving their goals.
d. a, b, and c are correct.
e. both a and c are correct.
57. When people deliver subtle aggressive messages involving feelings of resentment, anger, or rage
that they aren’t able or willing to express directly, they are engaging in what psychologist George
Bach calls
a. defense arousal.
b. nonverbal conflict.
c. pseudo-messages.
d. crazymaking.
e. one-up conflict resolution.
58. Conflict rituals are
a. inherently wrong.
b. the best way to solve the variety of conflicts that are part of any relationship.
c. almost always positive.
d. unacknowledged but repeating patterns of dealing with conflict.
e. All of these answers are correct.
59. The “ownership” of a problem almost always belongs to
a. the person who is dissatisfied.
b. the person to whom the complaint is directed.
c. the person with the lowest amount of self-disclosure.
d. the person with the greatest amount of passive aggressive behavior.
e. the most assertive person.
60. You and your partner’s pattern of managing disagreements that repeats itself over time is called
your
a. relational conflict style.
b. cognitive dissonance pattern.
c. harmony/disharmony pattern.
d. “Vesuvius.”
e. assertive message format.
61. In the Communication Transcript in Chapter Eleven, Chris tries to resolve a conflict with her
roommate Terry over cleaning their apartment by
a. relying on authority as a source of power.
b. using the “Vesuvius” method to get Terry’s attention.
c. appealing to their mutual self-interests.
d. employing “crazymaking” strategies.
e. None of these answers are correct
62. All of the following are true about conflict, except
a. conflict is natural.
b. every relationship of any depth at all has conflict.
c. conflict can be beneficial.
d. people typically have similar conflict styles.
e. b and d.
63. Studies of different cultures and conflict reveal that
a. assertiveness is valued worldwide.
b. North Americans avoid confrontation more than other cultures studied.
c. individualistic cultures are less assertive than collective ones.
d. the assertiveness appropriate in North America could be perceived as rude and insensitive in
collectivist cultures.
e. All of these answers are correct are true.
64. One of the best methods to use to describe your problem and needs to a partner during conflict
resolution is
a. paraphrasing.
b. perception checking.
c. the assertive message format.
d. high-level abstractions.
e. emotional description.
65. Rhonda complains to Collin that she’s tired of their weekend routine. Irritated, Collin snaps back
that he’s tired of her complaining. Their conflict pattern reflects which of the following conflict
styles?
a. complementary
b. symmetrical
c. tangential
d. conditional
e. None of these answers are correct
66. In order to decide which conflict style you should use, you should consider
a. the situation.
b. the other person.
c. your goals.
d. the relationship.
e. All of these answers are correct.
67. Conflict rituals
a. are always damaging.
b. should be replaced with compromise.
c. most often involve avoidance by both of the participants in the conflict.
d. become problems when they are seen as the only way to resolve problems.
e. are defined as ways partners use guilt and intimidation to fight dirty.
68. At which step in the win-win, collaborative process would you utilize the assertive message format?
a. Identify your problem and unmet needs.
b. Negotiate a solution.
c. Make a date.
d. Describe your problem and needs.
e. Consider your partner’s point of view.
69. At which step in the win-win, collaborative process would brainstorming be appropriate?
a. Identify your problem and unmet needs.
b. Negotiate a solution.
c. Make a date.
d. Describe your problem and needs.
e. Consider your partner’s point of view.
70. Of the following statements, which most accurately describes the part gender plays in conflict
style?
a. Gender is less important in determining conflict style than the behavior of the other person in
the conflict.
b. Research indicates that the stereotype of women as passive is nearly 90% accurate.
c. There are virtually no discernible differences between the conflict styles of men and women.
d. When actual behaviors are observed, women are more likely to withdraw from discussion
issues than men are.
e. All of these answers are correct.
71. When unhappy couples argue, they
a. use evaluative “you” language.
b. ignore each other’s nonverbal relational messages.
c. have minimal empathy for the other.
d. are not problem-oriented.
e. All of these answers are correct .
72. The habitual approach you take when your needs appear incompatible with what another wants is
called your
a. conflict ritual.
b. conflict style.
c. passive aggression.
d. conflict manner.
e. crazymaking.
73. When Brody steered clear of Miranda after they had an argument, he was using what style of
conflict?
a. accommodating
b. compromising
c. avoiding
d. passive aggression
e. crazymaking
74. The conflict style where one has a low concern for him/herself and a high concern for others is
called
a. avoiding.
b. collaborating.
c. compromising.
d. competing
e. accommodating.
75. Alicia wanted to see a movie with her friends Friday night, but ended up at a bar since that’s where
most of the girls wanted to go. Alicia used what conflict style in this situation?
a. avoiding
b. collaborating
c. compromising
d. competing
e. accommodating
76. The distinguishing characteristic in win-lose problem solving is
a. passivity.
b. power.
c. aggression.
d. discussion.
e. assertiveness.
77. Audra and Alfonso argue and Alfonso storms out of the house. Audra calls Alfonso asking for
forgiveness. He returns and they reconcile. Soon they fight again with Alfonso once again leaving.
This is an example of a(n)
a. complementary style.
b. symmetrical style.
c. conflict ritual.
d. avoiding style.
e. win-lose.
78. Of the following, what is not a step in negotiating a solution in the collaborative conflict style
approach?
a. Identify and define the conflict.
b. Generate a number of possible solutions.
c. Evaluate the alternative solutions.
d. Decide on the best solution.
e. All of these answers are steps.
79. A competing/win-lose conflict style
a. involves high concern for self and low concern for others.
b. can sometimes enhance a relationship.
c. has a distinguishing characteristic of power.
d. occurs when people perceive a situation as being an “either–or” one.
e. All of these answers are correct.
80. Avoiding is sometimes an appropriate style to choose when
a. the issue is temporary or minor.
b. speaking up might cause physical harm.
c. the relationship isn’t worth the effort.
d. a and b are correct.
e. All of these answers are correct.
81. All of the following are types of direct verbal aggression except
a. teasing.
b. character attacks.
c. threats.
d. shoving.
e. nonverbal emblems.
82. What plays a significant role in the effectiveness of the accommodating conflict style?
a. goodwill
b. motivation
c. skill
d. intelligence
e. None of these answers are correct.
83. When this person’s partner brings up a problem, she pretends to be busy with the laundry.
84. This person pretends to give in and then continues to act in the same way.
85. This person handles conflict by trying to make her partner feel responsible for causing her
discomfort.
86. This person almost brings what’s bothering him to the surface, but never quite comes out and
expresses himself.
87. Instead of expressing her feelings honestly, this person explains what her partner “really” means or
what’s “really wrong.”
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INSTRUCTIONS for questions 88–92: Match each of the following crazymakers with its description.
a. joker
b. withholder
c. gunnysacker
d. trivial tyrannizer
e. trapper
88. James tells Ivy he wants her advice, and when she offers it, he becomes very angry and accuses her
of trying to tell him what to do.
89. Elaine deliberately cranks up the volume on her music, knowing that it irritates her mother.
90. Jacob kept all his frustrations to himself and then when his sister asked him to run an errand for him
he erupted, telling her all the ways he felt she had imposed upon him in the past two weeks.
91. Renee refused to speak to Javier for two days.
92. Thomas laughed off his business partner’s comments that he was shirking some of his work
responsibilities by saying, “And who got out of the wrong side of the bed today?”
93. Explain a current conflict you are having with a friend or loved one. Apply the win-win method to
arrive at a solution using all six steps as though you were speaking to your partner. Explain what
you believe might be the outcome of using this method to solve the problem.
Answer: will vary Type: E Pages: 365-368 Synthesis
94. Your text states that compromise hardly deserves the positive image it seems to carry. Describe a
time when you compromised to settle a conflict. Did your experience present a more negative or
more positive outcome? What is your view of compromise as a conflict resolution outcome?
Answer: will vary Type: E Pages: 354-355 Evaluation
95. In a short essay, defend or refute the following statement: “Conflict is a destructive behavior.”
Answer: will vary Type: E Pages: 348 Evaluation
96. Imagine a conflict which seems unable to be resolved. What have you learned about interpersonal
communication that might enable you to work toward a resolution of the conflict?
97. Pick the two crazymakers you use most often. For each, describe the circumstances in which the
crazymaker is used, the function which the crazymaker serves, the consequences of using the
crazymaker, and any alternative behavior which would be more constructive.
Answer: will vary Type: E Pages: 353-354 Evaluation
98. “In order for there to be winners, there have to be losers.” Discuss this statement by examining an
interpersonal conflict in which you have been involved.
99. Define the term conflict as described in your text. Explain in detail each element of the definition.
100. Examine the differences between men and women in how they approach conflict. Include research
findings as well as your own personal experiences in your discussion.
101. Recall a past or current conflict from your life and explain it using all parts of the definition in the
text. Explain how it was or is being handled by referring to conflict styles, rituals and patterns.
Describe how satisfied you are with the way it was or is being handled, and explain what you
would’ve done or can do differently.
102. Describe what you believe to be your primary conflict style, and discuss its effectiveness. If
necessary, suggest alternatives, and explain your reasoning.