CHAPTER 10
IMPROVING COMMUNICATION CLIMATES
1. Defensiveness is often a self-perpetuating cycle.
2. Once a progressive spiral has been established in a relationship, it is likely to continue indefinitely.
3. When you respond nondefensively to criticism, you can agree with the truth of what the critic is
saying.
4. The most damaging kind of disconfirming response is disagreeing with the other person.
5. The assertive message format should always be used in the order given in your text for best results.
6. It’s okay to reword the assertive message format to suit your own particular style of speaking.
7. You shouldn’t have to repeat the assertive message format if you express yourself clearly in the
first place.
8. Messages shaping the communication climate of a relationship can be both verbal and nonverbal.
9. Endorsement is the strongest type of confirming message.
10. The Gibb categories define behaviors that can improve or hurt the communication climate.
11. Stating your intentions is an important element of an assertive message.
12. Tangential responses are one type of disconfirming message.
13. Just recognizing the other person isn’t enough to be considered confirming.
14. Acknowledgment is more confirming than recognition.
15. Incongruous responses contain two messages that seem to deny or contradict each other.
16. Since ambiguous responses leave your partner unsure of your position, they would likely be
interpreted as disconfirming.
17. Whereas acknowledging others means you are interested in their ideas, endorsement means that you
agree with them.
18. Perception makes little difference in determining whether a message is disconfirming.
19. When coping with criticism, it isn’t a good idea to ask what else is wrong because it just brings up
too much material to handle at one time.
20. A controlling message can be verbal or nonverbal.
21. Behavior that fits into Gibb’s category of “strategy” attempts to manipulate the other into doing
what you want.
22. What Gibb describes as “spontaneity” means saying the first thing that comes into your mind.
23. A supportive climate usually results from the expression of empathy.
24. When you decide to acknowledge an accurate criticism, an apology is also necessary.
25. Being ignored is less disconfirming than being dismissed or attacked.
26. A communication climate has to do with the way people feel about each other as they carry out
activities.
27. The most common form of acknowledgement is listening.
28. The emotional tone of a relationship is called the communication climate.
29. A spiral is always negative.
30. Once engaged in a negative spiral, it is impossible for a couple to recover.
31. When others confront us with attacks on our presenting self, we are likely to become defensive.
32. If an attack to our presenting self is justified, we will not react defensively.
33. Another word to describe Gibb’s defensive behavior of neutrality is indifference.
34. Asking for more information from your critics as a way to respond nondefensively means you need
to be prepared to accept the comments.
35. One advantage of paraphrasing a critic’s comments is that the intensity of the attack may be
reduced.
36. Research suggests that agreeing with a correct fact when criticized is highly effective in restoring a
damaged reputation with the critic.
37. It’s impossible to honestly accept the other person’s point of view while maintaining your own
position.
38. In order to truly respond nondefensively to criticism you must always agree with the critic’s
judgment of you.
39. Children whose parents use more confirming messages tend to have higher self-esteem and less
stress.
40. Employees usually do not appreciate open-door policies at work because it makes their bosses seem
weak.
41. Trust and morale on the job can be increased by something as simple as saying “hello” or “thanks”
in e-mail messages.
42. The most confirming type of message is acknowledgement.
43. In marriage, stonewalling is a strong predictor of divorce.
44. Complaining is the most destructive way to disagree with another person.
45. Argumentativeness is actually admired in some, and is associated with a number of positive
attributes.
46. In marriage, complaining is healthy, as long as the complaint is worded as a personal criticism
rather than as a behavioral description.
47. The authors suggest that aggressiveness is the behavior we should all strive for in relationships.
48. In order to be successful in real life, we should try to word our assertive messages as closely as we
can to the authors’ examples.
49. Aggressiveness can only occur in face–to-face situations.
50. Fifteen percent of students report having abused someone online, and 30 percent report having been
victims of cyberbullying themselves.
51. The responsibility for reducing defensiveness in an interpersonal exchange belongs only to the
person receiving criticism.
52. You are less likely to get a defensive response if you deliver criticism in a way that protects the
presenting self (or “face”) of the other person.
53. Abusing your rank or status over others by demeaning, humiliating, or exploiting them is called
“rankism.”
54. Clicking “like” on someone’s Facebook post can be a way to send a confirming message.
55. Others may interpret your lack of interaction in social media sites as a disconfirming message.
56. Which of these behaviors is characterized by the use of “we” language?
a. evaluation
b. description
c. problem-orientation
d. strategy
e. provisionalism
57. “Rankism” best relates to which of these behaviors?
a. evaluation
b. superiority
c. control
d. strategy
e. certainty
58. Which of these strategies has been used successfully to protest slavery, secure rights for women,
reject war, oppose racial segregation, and accomplish other great social change in principled and
pragmatic ways?
a. aggressiveness
b. nonviolence
c. neutrality
d. all of the above
e. none of the above
59. Cassie felt ignored because Jaime kept playing on his phone during their lunch together. This
example best illustrates which type of disconfirming message?
a. impersonal
b. ambiguous
c. incongruous
d. irrelevant
e. impervious
60. Brianne angrily waited three minutes at the counter before the clerk finished his phone conversation
and signaled awareness that Brianne was waiting. Brianne would’ve felt better if the clerk had at
least __________ her while she was waiting.
a. recognized
b. acknowledged
c. endorsed
d. been assertive with
e. responded nondefensively
61. Intention statements can communicate
a. where you stand on an issue.
b. requests of others.
c. descriptions of how you plan to act in the future.
d. a, b, and c above.
e. only interpretations of behavior.
62. Which of the following is an accurate feeling statement?
a. “I feel like you’re angry at me.”
b. “I feel like going home now.”
c. “I feel angry when you laugh at me.”
d. “I feel you ought to be more careful.”
e. All of these answers are correct are feeling statements.
63. All of the following are disconfirming messages except
a. interrupting the other person.
b. giving ambiguous responses.
c. ignoring the other person.
d. using a problem-oriented approach.
e. responding with clichés.
64. All of the following are behavioral descriptions except
a. “I notice you’re frowning.”
b. “I saw you walk out of the party.”
c. “Your behavior tells me you’re angry.”
d. “You’ve shouted the last three times we’ve discussed money.”
e. “You haven’t said ‘I love you’ in over a week.”
65. Which of the following is an interpretation?
a. “I got an A on my history paper.”
b. “Sue only cares about herself.”
c. “I sure appreciate your help.”
d. “Would you tell me what you mean by that?”
e. All of these answers are correct are interpretations.
66. A consequence statement can describe
a. what happens to you, the speaker.
b. what happens to the person you’re addressing or to others.
c. why you’re bothered or pleased by another’s behavior.
d. what happens without moralizing about it.
e. All of these answers are correct.
67. The most visible way disconfirming messages reinforce one another, as when one attack leads to
another and another, is termed a(n)
a. escalatory conflict spiral.
b. de-escalatory conflict spiral.
c. cognitive dissonance reaction.
d. impervious dyad.
e. pillow-talk incident.
68. The text suggested that you may react nondefensively to criticism by
a. asking for a “time–out.”
b. guessing about the specifics of a critic’s remarks.
c. criticizing yourself.
d. giving the reasons for your behavior.
e. telling the critic to stop.
69. Your instructor tells you how poor your writing ability is and how wrong it is for you not to work
harder on it. That instructor used the Gibb category of
a. description.
b. evaluation.
c. problem orientation.
d. equality.
e. provisionalism.
70. According to research findings about defensiveness, when one person in a dyad acts in a defensive
manner
a. a counterattack is appropriate.
b. the partner will be supportive.
c. a defensive spiral usually results.
d. perceptions are not realistic.
e. self-disclosure usually takes place.
71. The elements of an assertive message are
a. feeling, interpretation, assertion, and consequence.
b. behavior, interpretation, feeling, assertion, and intention.
c. behavior, assertion, aggression, and interpretation.
d. behavior, interpretation, feeling, consequence, and intention.
e. assertion, aggression, negotiation, interpretation, and intention.
72. Another term which describes the Gibb defensive category of neutrality would be
a. understanding.
b. aggressive perception.
c. positive/negative balance.
d. displaced loyalty.
e. indifference.
73. Evaluative language is also described as
a. “me” language.
b. “it” language.
c. “you” language.
d. “neutral” language.
e. “supportive” language.
74. The term that describes the emotional tone of a personal relationship is
a. mood.
b. tone.
c. climate.
d. environment.
e. foundation.
75. Defensiveness is the process of protecting your
a. interpretations.
b. sense data.
c. perceived self.
d. presenting self.
e. None of the above answers are correct.
76. Gibb’s categories provide a useful way for us to examine our
a. self-concept.
b. patterns of self-disclosure.
c. defensive and supportive behaviors.
d. manipulative behaviors.
e. perceptual differences.
77. The communication climate in a relationship is determined by the
a. roles each person has in the relationship.
b. similarities of the parties.
c. degree to which each person feels valued.
d. amount of self-disclosure that occurs.
e. listening and perceptual skills that each individual brings to the relationship.
78. A confirming response may
a. criticize the other.
b. agree with or acknowledge the other.
c. reveal deception.
d. recognize manipulation.
e. control the other.
79. People who act in accordance with Gibb’s category of equality communicate that
a. everyone is equal in every way.
b. while they may have greater talent in some areas, all have just as much worth as human beings.
c. all human beings are created with the capacity to be equal in all areas.
d. All of these answers are correct.
e. None of the above answers are correct.
80. “I know that isn’t going to work under any circumstances” is an example of the Gibb defensive
category of
a. evaluation.
b. control.
c. superiority.
d. certainty.
e. strategy.
81. Jenna says, “Sophia, I’m really upset about how we divide the cooking chores.” Sophia retorts,
“Speaking of cooking, my secretary brought in great cookies today.” Sophia’s response is an
example of a(n)
a. impervious response.
b. interrupting response.
c. irrelevant response.
d. impersonal response.
e. tangential response.
82. Mercedes asks her boss if she can take Friday afternoon off to clear up some legal problems. Her
boss replies, “Seems like everybody has problems these days.” The boss’s reply is an example of
a(n)
a. impervious response.
b. interrupting response.
c. irrelevant response.
d. tangential response.
e. impersonal response.
83. Molly asks her mother if she’ll help her go through her wardrobe to see what needs to be thrown
out. Her mother replies, “Throwing out things is a great idea; help me with cleaning out this
refrigerator, won’t you?” This reply is an example of a(n)
a. impervious response.
b. interrupting response.
c. irrelevant response.
d. tangential response.
e. impersonal response.
84. Lilly calls Cameron to invite her to a party, leaving the message on Cameron’s voicemail. After two
days, Cameron still hasn’t returned Lilly’s call. Lilly might interpret this as what type of response?
a. impervious.
b. interrupting.
c. irrelevant.
d. tangential.
e. impersonal.
85. “You are such a couch potato” is an example of what Gibb defense-arousing behavior?
a. evaluation.
b. control.
c. strategy.
d. neutrality.
e. superiority.
86. Which of the following statements is the best supportive alternative to the accusation, “You just
don’t try hard enough.”
a. “You should try harder.”
b. “You give up too easily.”
c. “I’m worried you’ll fail with two D’s.”
d. “You should study two hours every night.”
e. “It’s time we had a talk about trying.”
87. Ambiguous responses
a. are conversational “take aways.”
b. are unrelated to what the other person has just said.
c. ignore the other person’s attempt to communicate.
d. contain messages with more than one meaning.
e. interrupt the other person.
88. Disconfirming responses loaded with clichés and other statements that never truly respond to the
speaker are called
a. impervious.
b. interrupting.
c. irrelevant.
d. tangential.
e. impersonal.
89. Agreeing with a critic’s perception of your behavior involves
a. apologizing to the critic.
b. agreeing with the critic’s right to see things his/her way.
c. backing off from your position.
d. All of these answers are correct.
e. None of the above answers are correct.
90. Which of the following is a nondefensive response to the criticism, “You’ve really messed up that
account now”?
a. “Tell me what, in your mind, I did that upset you.”
b. “Not taking Mr. Kimble to dinner endangers the account?”
c. “So you’re upset that the account may be lost?”
d. “Losing that account might really hurt our department?”
e. All of these answers are correct to respond nondefensively to that criticism.
91. If others start criticizing you, one productive way to respond is to
a. tell them to stop the criticism.
b. point out that criticism is not productive.
c. criticize them to show them how it feels.
d. ask for more specifics about what the criticism involves.
e. just back off; there’s no effective way to deal with this kind of “no–win” situation.
92. All of the following are nondefensive responses to criticism recommended by your text except
a. asking for more details about the criticism.
b. paraphrasing the speaker’s comments.
c. asking about the consequences of your behavior.
d. accepting the speaker’s comments, even if you disagree.
e. guessing about the details of the criticism.
93. Communication climates are a function of
a. the way people feel about one another.
b. the tasks people perform.
c. individual personality characteristics.
d. Gibb’s functional theories.
e. time, place, and context.
94. A reciprocating communication pattern in which each person’s message reinforces the other’s is
called a(n)
a. conflict.
b. defense mechanism.
c. face-threatening act.
d. attack.
e. spiral.
95. Saying, “That’s the way the cookie crumbles,” is an example of what Gibb defense-arousing
behavior?
a. control
b. strategy
c. certainty
d. evaluation
e. neutrality
96. All of the following are defense-arousing behaviors except
a. neutrality.
b. control.
c. superiority.
d. strategy.
e. spontaneity.
97. The assertive message format
a. should be worded to suit your own style of communication.
b. may require you to repeat a part to ensure the other person’s understanding.
c. may be delivered in mixed order of the elements.
d. can combine two or more elements in a single phrase.
e. All of these answers are correct.
98. Paraphrasing is valuable in responding to critics because
a. the intensity of the attack is often reduced when a complaint is acknowledged.
b. the critic knows then that he/she is right.
c. important information can be learned.
d. All of these answers are correct.
e. a and c
99. A spiral
a. is a reciprocating communication pattern.
b. can be escalatory or de-escalatory.
c. rarely goes on indefinitely.
d. reinforces the principle that “what goes around comes around.”
e. All of these answers are correct.
100. When Estefanie tells Tracy exactly what she needs to do differently rather than withholding
information so she’ll look bad to others at work, she is being __________ rather than __________.
a. spontaneous, strategic
b. provisional, certain
c. equal, superior
d. empathetic, neutral
e. descriptive, evaluative
101. When Abdul suggests to Kimya that there might be another way to approach handling a problem
instead of enforcing his way of handling it, he is being __________ rather than __________.
a. spontaneous, strategic
b. provisional, certain
c. equal, superior
d. empathetic, neutral
e. descriptive, evaluative
102. When Libby tells her husband, “I’d really like to go out to dinner more often,” instead of saying,
“Our best friends go out to dinner every week,” she is being __________ rather than __________.
a. spontaneous, strategic
b. provisional, certain
c. equal, superior
d. empathetic, neutral
e. problem-oriented, controlling
103. Kathie likes her new boss, Kay, better than her old boss because Kay is more likely to admit when
she’s wrong and point out that she makes mistakes like every other human being. Kathie probably
experiences a more supportive work climate because Kay’s behavior is more __________ rather
than __________.
a. spontaneous, strategic
b. provisional, certain
c. equal, superior
d. empathetic, neutral
e. problem-oriented, controlling
INSTRUCTIONS for questions 104–108: Match each statement below with the appropriate defense-arousing
behaviors.
a. evaluation
b. control
c. neutrality
d. superiority
e. certainty
104. “How many times do you think I’ll have to explain this to you?!”
105. “That’s the way of the world. Get used to it.”
106. “You’re a slob!”
107. “It’s my way or the highway!”
108. “I don’t really need your input. I’ve already made my decision.”
INSTRUCTIONS for questions 109–113: Match each statement below with the appropriate face-honoring
behaviors.
a. empathy
b. provisionalism
c. equality
d. problem-orientation
e. description
109. “I can completely understand why you are so upset about this.”
110. “When you leave your shoes by the door, I get frustrated because I trip over them.”
111. “I’d love to know what you think about this idea. I’ll be considering input through Friday.”
112. “Sure, I’ll be glad to show you how this program works, and I know you’ll get the hang of it
soon!”
113. “We should work together on this. I’ll bet we can figure out an idea that will benefit both of us.”
114. Alex says, “Let’s decide what we’re doing this weekend after I get paid tomorrow,” and you reply,
“ I’m really excited about getting an A on my test.”
115. Vince says, “I’m so tired,” and you reply, “Boy, everybody’s got problems today.”
116. You see Denise smile at you, but you walk past without smiling back.
117. ”I wish you wouldn’t be such a slob.”
118. Omar asks how your roommate is feeling; you tell him about your own health.
119. Josh gets upset because Cassandra did not text him back.
120. “Whenever we fight, both of us usually wind up regretting it.”
121. “I’m worried about you.”
122. “I just want you to know how much this affects me.”
142
123. “You’re smoking again after you said you were quitting.”
124. “I’m thinking you just don’t like me.”
125. “Because we were five minutes late, we couldn’t be seated until intermission.”
126. “You seem pretty sure of yourself.”
127. “I’m uncomfortable about that.”
128. “I’d like to know whether you are angry.”
129. “It seems to me that you’re just trying to set me against her.”
130. “I’m happy you’re coming.”
131. “Gene didn’t call at the usual time.”
132. “You shouldn’t expect me to help you out again.”
133. “I take this to mean that you’re mad at me.”
134. “I’m really burned up about that bill.”
135. “You didn’t invite me to the party.”
136. “Ever since you said that I was wrong, I’ve been afraid to ask your opinion.”
137. “It seems like something is bothering you.”
138. “I think you’ve been ignoring me lately.”
139. Describe two of your important relationships in terms of communication climate. What factors
contribute to the overall climate in each relationship? Describe confirming and disconfirming
behaviors for each relationship that led you to your overall assessment.
Answer: will vary Type: E Pages: 312-319 Analysis
143
140. How do defensive behaviors work in the sphere of work relationships? Given your knowledge of
Gibb’s categories, what advice would you give to a manager?
Answer: will vary Type: E Pages: 319-325 Application
141. Describe a recent incident when you were defensive. Explain which part of your self-concept you
were protecting, and describe the consequences of your defensiveness.
Answer: will vary Type: E Pages: 319-320 Synthesis
142. Describe an important relationship in which you are involved in terms of a positive or negative
“spiral” of behavior. Indicate how behaviors over the past six months (or any defined segment of
time) have tended to “beget” similar behaviors in your relationship. Comment on the future
direction of your spiral.
Answer: Type: E Pages: 317-319 Evaluation
143. Imagine the following scene: Your instructor (we’ll call him Dr. Roberts) angrily thrusts your
research paper back at you saying, “This paper is not only late, it is full of errors.” Write a response
to Dr. Roberts that demonstrates three different ways to respond using Chapter Ten’s strategies for
handling criticism nondefensively.
Answer: will vary Type: E Pages: 332-339 Application
144. Use the Assertive Message Format to respond to one of two situations described below, labeling
each of the five parts of the message.
A friend is in the habit of borrowing your belongings and not returning them to you without you
having to ask for them back several times. Now your friend is returning a sweater of yours and
there’s a stain on it.
One of your friends has been especially supportive lately, has called often, spent time getting you
out socially and even prepared dinner for you to help you get through a difficult time.
Answer: will vary Type: E Pages: 326-331 Application
145. Describe two examples each of confirming, disagreeing, and disconfirming messages in your own
life, and describe their consequences. Explain how each message threatens or honors the presenting
self (or “face”) of the communicators involved.
Answer: will vary Type: E Pages: 312-320 Evaluation
146. Describe (from your own life) or create one example each of all 12 Gibb behaviors. Explain how
each message threatens or honors the presenting self (or “face”) of the communicators involved.
Answer: will vary Type: E Pages: 319-325 Analysis
147. Consider this saying, “I can be right or I can be happy.” Discuss this in terms of
defensiveness/nondefensive concepts from the text, as well as any pertinent Gibb climate
components.
Answer: will vary Type: E Pages: 319-339 Synthesis
148. Describe ways in which we send confirming and disconfirming messages via text and social media.
Answer: will vary Type: E Pages: 312-317 Application
149. Describe ways in which we contribute to supportive and defensive climates via text and social
media.
Answer: will vary Type: E Pages: 319-325 Application