Katie Gross
Group Peer Review
The Old Times are not Forgotten
David Dillard
1. Essay’s major strengths (at least two)
I thought the general topic of this essay was very interesting and different. I’ve never heard
something like this before and I think it is extremely unique. It kept me fascinated and I
wanted to keep reading. Especially the introduction, which made me want to learn what
the rest of the essay was going to be about.
I can see your audience awareness clearly. In the second paragraph I can see that you reach
to your reader directly. Also, the examples that you included with the quotes of what other
people said helped me better see your point of view. It also gave me more of a visual.
2. At least three specific, actionable suggestions for revision (major priorities)
Although I can somewhat see your focus threaded throughout the essay, I think it should
be a little clearer about what the focus is specifically. Maybe you can include it in your
introduction or your conclusion.
I think you should also include more insight in your essay. For example, what other things
have you learned about yourself through this experience?
In general, I would expand more on this topic. A lot of the things you talk about are very
similar and I want to know more, like why this part of your identity is so important and life
changing for you. Talk more about why this part of your identity affects you and makes
you who you are.