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Jillian Spatola
AWR 201
Dr. Pena
21 November 2016
The Monstrous Slut
The nonstop tension between sexual pleasure and sexual danger is a challenge that
women are forced to face throughout their lives. Sexuality is a troubling concept that women are
expected to balance. The “ideal” woman is sexually restricted and monogamous, but not
completely unsexual. Society encourages women to suppress their sexuality in order to avoid
being negatively categorized, while often holds that same concept to a double standard for men.
Society’s categorization of women through slut-shaming makes being open about female
sexuality appear as monstrous to society and therefore seeks to control it.
Human female sexuality involves a variety of behaviors and processes. It first includes
discovering one’s sexual identity and then figuring out the sexual behaviors deemed acceptable
by one’s culture, society, and religion. Women are instructed their whole lives to control and
hide their sexuality, being open about it is considered monstrous. Female sexuality is an
intriguing concept composed of two comparable sides, pleasure and danger. It is dangerous for a
woman to be sexual because of the restriction and suppression women are molded to understand.
At the same time, it is also a time of exploration, intimacy, and pleasure. Sexuality in general,
has two sides. It can be the reason for violent sexual encounters such as rape, forced, incest, and
exploitation. However, it can also be a very positive experience where one gets to explore the
human body, overcome their curiosities, and encounter a human connection with another person
that can be both very exciting and adventurous (Vance, pp. 1-6).
Social influences such as friends, family, and schools have taught women to suppress
sexuality throughout their lives. They have worked to separate women from their own sexual
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desires and have molded them into believing that being open about their sexuality is wrong
(Baumeister & Twenge, pp. 166). According to Richard and Jacqueline Lerner, adolescence is
where women learn what is and what is not acceptable in society involving their bodies and
sexual behavior (pp. x). For example, young girls are taught how to sit properly and to keep their
dresses down. Contradictorily, you rarely hear someone tell a young boy to “sit properly”.
Sitting the right way for a female is to sit with her legs crossed, to make sure she is not showing
her underwear or anything that would be considered “unladylike” to see.
The article by Baumeister and Twenge presents two theories of the influences that
suppress female sexuality. The first theory is the male control theory which states that men,
specifically husbands, are responsible. They want to control and restrain sexual pleasure for
women. They seek to have control of their woman and are afraid that if she engages in sexual
activity too much, she will overly enjoy it. If she enjoys it too much, she may become curious
about her sexuality and want to discover more about it, leaving her man to do so. Another
explanation for this theory is that men want to reproduce and pass down their genes and they
realize that women can usually only have one child per year. By minimalizing women’s sexual
desire, they reduce the possibility that she will be impregnated by another man and increase the
possibility for their own genes to be reproduced. Men often consider women their “property”
and are very protective over what they consider to be theirs. For these men, it is a self-conscious
thing. They want to restrict female sexuality to make sure that their woman stays loyal and is not
tempted to explore sexual curiosities with another partner (pp. 166-170).
Historically, men have participated heavily in the suppression of female sexuality. Men
controlled their women’s sexuality by proposing an unspoken deal in their relationship. In the
nineteenth century, if a traditional woman was “good” when it came to sexual terms, then the
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man would protect her. If a woman did not abide by her man’s expectations, he felt that he could
violate and punish her. Women who were “good” wanted to restrain sexual impulses. This could
be potentially dangerous to them if they did not have the same impulses as the male (Vance, pp.
2). Traditional women thought it would be smart to limit their own sexuality, for example, how
they dress, so men would not feel that it is acceptable for them to act on their impulses which is
part of the second theory that Baumeister and Twenge propose.
The female control theory considers how historically men have been viewed as superior
to women, both politically and socially. Women finally want to have control over something, so
they control their bodies and teach other women to do the same. Young women are taught that
their bodies deserve respect and privacy. The only way a woman should reveal her body to a
male is if he has proved that he is worthy and deserves it. The woman is the one who determines
if the male is worthy. However, she has to be careful that she does not feel that multiple men are
worthy because then she may face negative consequences imposed by society (pp. 170-172).
The social exchange theory ties in with the female control theory and proposes an
explanation of why women try to suppress each other’s sexuality. “Social exchange theory
analyzes human behavior in terms of costs and rewards and therefore considers interactions as
exchanges in which the various parties offer each other rewards in return for obtaining what they
want” (Baumeister & Twenge, 170). Sex is something valuable that men desire and women
possess and in order for men to get what they want from women, they have to offer her
something that she wants such as respect, money, attention, or commitment. In a relationship, if
one of the two people does not have a lot of desire to do something that the other person enjoys,
then that person has more power in the relationship. The social exchange theory states that
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women have suppressed each other’s sexuality in order to use it as a resource to get whatever
they desire out of men.
Presently, women are trying to find a way to balance their sexuality. They are trying to
stray away from their typical sexual suppression and are seeking to explore their boundaries of
what is seen as acceptable and unacceptable for a woman in today’s society. Women are working
to find a “safe zone” where they can express their sexuality without feeling like they are being
taken advantage of because they are usually the victims of sexual violence imposed by men. The
threat of sexual attack just reminds women of male privilege that limits women’s actions and
behaviors. These women want to be more open about their sexuality, but are struggling to do so
because of how society views female sexuality as monstrous (Vance, pp. 3-4).
