October 17, 2013
Sociology
My Experience with Groups
Growing up I was always surrounded by different groups of people whether it be in, out,
primary, reference, or coalition groups. Throughout life there were moments where I was apart of
each and every single one of these groups, however now things have definitely changed. As time
had gone on, I found myself developing different interests that allowed myself to bounce around
from group to group. Along the way, I found aspects of each group that helped me develop into
the person I am today.
Almost all throughout my education, except elementary and college, I had been put into
private catholic schools. These types of communities are much more different than those of a
public school. At public school the secondary group was much larger – classrooms, classmates
and the school body in general. It was so different moving from an environment where the
secondary group produced a bunch of primary groups to a small secondary group with few
primary groups. It was MUCH more difficult trying to fit and blend in with people who already
knew each other very well. At the private school the students had practically grown up with one
another, therefore they already knew each other and their families to a pretty good extent. So
when I showed up, I was the only person nobody knew! I wasn’t sure what identity I needed to
have in order to fit in with people who already knew each other for years. At first, I thought I
wanted to be apart of the In-Group and be considered a “popular kid.” I mean, what kid doesn’t?
So I tried my hardest to hangout with them during recess and lunch. However things quickly
changed once I realized what I was signing up for. All they every wanted to do was play
basketball and make fun of each other, which I knew wasn’t the group for me because I don’t
like playing basketball, making fun of other people, or subjecting myself to be ridiculed for
other’s enjoyment. Luckily I was able to make friends with another girl, Alex, who I clicked with
very well and we vowed to stay friends till we died.
However as Alex and I went on to high school, our friendship had taken quite a strain
when we found ourselves becoming apart of other groups. When freshman year came around, I
thought of the possibility of becoming popular again. So I didn’t hangout with Alex as much
anymore and instead hung out with someone from every primary group so everyone could know
me. This ended up working out pretty well for me because before I knew it, I was invited to
social events, people wanted to hangout with me, guys would talk to me and I liked the attention.
However, I didn’t feel like myself, my grades were beginning to take a toll, and that things at
home were not going so well. My parents and I were constantly getting into fights over my
