Week 8: CPSY 706
Gestalt approach to acknowledge freely and honestly: all about being present in moment: what are you
precisely feel at the moment? In therapy, no one ever says good. What is vague way to say? Bad: sad,
angry, distraught. Don’t say good you have to be speci*c/specify the emo,on. It’s about how you feel
about the way you feel. I feel like I should be more produc,ve. This is not feeling it’s a thought. It’s not
just what you feeling. It’s about how you feel about your feelings. Primary, secondary feeling. A lot of
people feel guilty about anger especially at parents. Is your emo,on playing as it supposed to be or
somehow it’s being distorted? Why are you feeling the way you feel?
ON EXAM: Feelings are always valid. Some,mes emo,ons are inappropriate. Feelings are always valid
(professor disagrees with this). In most cases, feelings are valid but there are few cases where feelings
are not valid. Why you may have odd feelings of your feelings? IDNETIFY YOUR FEELIGN.
EXAM: Feeling is one thing. Doing is another. CHOICE to act out your feeling or not to act on it is yours. I
couldn’t help it (control is important = this is scary). Get away from this mindset. Explore it.
Exercise: Think of one area in your present: new perspec,ve. Become aware of range of your choices.
Choosing.
Create as many alterna,ve as you can
Because of technology and social media human’s ability to re>ect has faded. Externally
in>uenced
In worst cases (hopelessness=correlates with suicide/disempowering), *nd at least one op,on to
think di?erently
Job, rela,onships anything
Not just think about it re>ect about it
Goal: what traits make you happy? If you know what yon don’t want this will help you lead to
*nd a beAer partner
What about a person’s personality deal breaker? People are stupid (not behaviour) 1) smoking,
2) hygiene
Is your partner capable of being thoughDul?
Confront yourself with reality. Do not fantasize. Do not lie. See it for what it really is
Empathy on choices are on yourself. Your partner’s not going to change. You have choices. You
have to make a choice
Next exercise: values (understanding what is truly important to you)
Imagine you overheard your friend. What does your friend talk about you? How do you want
them to describe you? How do you want them to know? What quality of yours do you want your
friend to know? What are the quali,es you want your partner and your friend to have as well?
