Conflict Management
CONFLICT is inevitable in any interpersonal relationship or among members of any
group. While we encounter various types of conflict in many of our life situations, we
often feel a lack of confidence and vision of what is really appropriate to do. Most students
find the conflict in their personal relationships already quite stressful, thus any conflict
within student organizations becomes overwhelmingly unbearable. Those who have lower
tolerance level for anxiety often choose to leave the organization.
WHY do we shy away from dealing with our conflict? It is often because many of us were
raised to believe that conflict is something to be avoided, an experience of failure.
However, conflict does not have to lead to failure, or even to the termination of a
relationship. We all come to see and experience the world in a different way, and we all
have different ideas about what is best for “my group” or “our group”. Recognizing this
fact can help free us from the negative conclusion that conflict is a signal of failure. It is
actually a signal that change is needed, and even possible.
The ability to manage conflict is probably one of the most important social skills an
individual can possess.
There are several styles of conflict management that people use, some of which are more
effective than others.
COMPETING – An individual pursues his or her own concerns at the other persons
expense. This is a power oriented mode, in which one uses whatever power seems
appropriate to win ones own position: ones ability to argue, ones rank, or economic
sanctions. Competing might even mean standing up for your rights, defending a position
which you believe correct, or simply trying to win.
ACCOMMODATING – The opposite of competing. When accommodating, an individual
neglects his or her own concerns to satisfy the concerns of the other person; there is an
element of self-sacrifice in this mode. Accommodating might take the form of selfless
generosity or charity, obeying another persons order when one would prefer not to, or
yielding to another persons point of view.
AVOIDING – The individual does not immediately pursue his or her own concerns or
those of the other person. He or she does not address the conflict. Avoiding mighttake the
form of diplomatically sidestepping an issue, postponing an issue until a better time, or
simply withdrawing from a threatening situation.
COMPROMISING – The objective is to find some expedient, mutually acceptable solution
