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Case Study 3
Since the concept of codependency was introduced in the 1970s, the term has moved
into common usage. An analogy might be the word “paranoid,” which is commonly used
in incorrect contexts. For example, a young man might say to a friend “I am so paranoid
about my girlfriend” as opposed to “I am so suspicious of my girlfriend.” In a similar
manner, people now speak of themselves as being “codependent” when in reality they
are not, at least according to the exact definition of the term. One reason for this
confusion is that the definition of codependency is so vague that virtually every person
could be said to be codependent. However, if virtually everybody has a certain
condition, is that not called “normal?” Workaholism has been discussed as a possible
characteristic trait of codependents. Yet a new junior executive who wants to earn a
promotion might work long hours, often staying at work long after the end of the normal
workday. Is this a workaholic or a person who is a dedicated worker seeking
advancement? The definition is quite subjective, depending on the person making the
diagnosis. Excessive anger and loneliness, other characteristics often attributed to the
codependent person, can also be part of certain stages of most people’s lives. What
would be appropriate anger and loneliness? A pair of lovers, having freshly entered into
the rapture of love, live and breathe for each other’s approval and acceptance. A
disagreement would devastate both. Are they being codependent, or just another
couple in love?
