Ivy League Admission:
180 Successful Business School (MBA) Essays
Nancy L. Nolan, Ph.D.
Ivy League Admission:
180 Successful Business School (MBA) Essays
Nancy L. Nolan, Ph.D.
First Edition
Magnificent Milestones, Inc., Florida
Copyright 2006. Nancy L. Nolan, Ph.D.
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means,
electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or by any information storage and retrieval
system without written permission from the author, except for the inclusion of brief quotations in a review.
Electronic and CD-ROM versions published by:
Magnificent Milestones, Inc.
Post Office Box 100582
Palm Bay, Florida 32910
www.ivyleagueadmission.com
CD ROM Edition 10-digit ISBN 0977376443 13-digit ISBN 9780977376445
PDF Version 10-digit ISBN 0977376494 13-digit ISBN 9780977376490
Printed in the United States of America
Disclaimers:
(1) This book is a compilation of successful admission essays; it does not claim to be the definitive word on the subject of
MBA admission. The opinions expressed are the personal observations of the author based on her own experiences.
They are not intended to prejudice any party. Accordingly, the author and publisher do not accept any liability or
responsibility for any loss or damage that have been caused, or alleged to have been caused, through the use of
information in this book.
(2) Admission to business school depends on several factors in addition to a candidate’s essays (including GPA, test
scores, interview and reference letters). The author and publisher cannot guarantee that any applicant will be admitted to
any specific school or program if (s)he follows the information in this book.
Dedication
For students everywhere;
may the size of your dreams be exceeded only
by your tenacity to attain them.
Acknowledgements
I am deeply indebted to the students, professors and admissions officers who have shared their perceptions
and frustrations about admissions essays. This book, which was written on your behalf, would not be nearly
as powerful without your generous and insightful input.
I also want to thank my colleagues at www.ivyleagueadmission.com for providing a constant source of
support, along with the best editorial help in the business.
Ivy League Admission:
180 Successful Business School (MBA) Essays
Table of Contents
Introduction: The MBA Admission Process
The Role of Essays in the Admissions Decision
Writing Tips
Common Pitfalls
Strengths to Highlight
Successful Business School Essays:
Discuss Your Post-MBA Goals
Discuss Your Unique Contribution to the School
A Decision You Wish You Could Change
Evaluate Your Candidacy as an Admissions Officer
What are Your Outside Interests?
Discuss Your Most Challenging / Difficult Professional Relationship
Describe How You Handled an Ethical Dilemma
Discuss a Challenging Team Experience
How Would You Resolve a Team Impasse?
Discuss Your Strengths & Weaknesses
Describe a Typical Day
Discuss the Most Difficult Constructive Feedback You Have Received
What Matter Most To You? Why?
Addendum to Explain a Low GPA
How You Would Spend a Million Dollar Gift
An Historical Event You Would Have Like to Have Attended
Cover Letter for MBA Admissions Committee
Leadership Experience
Write Your Annual Performance Review
Defining Moment
Situation in Which You Failed
Development of Foreign Markets
Comment on the Following Quotation
Discuss your Favorite Book or Fictional Character
Discuss an Obstacle You Have Overcome
How Would You Spend a Free Day?
Formulate an e-Commerce Strategy for Your Company
Creatively Describe Yourself to the Dean of the Business School
Addendum to Explain a Poor GMAT Score
Relevance of Market Forces & Government Regulation on Corporate Values
Describe Something You Feel Passionate About
Most Valuable Tangible/Intangible Possessions
What It Means To Live in a Global Community
Personal Characteristic You Would Like to Change
How You Would Spend Four Extra Hours per Day
Do Academic Grades Reflect True Potential?
What Makes a Good Leader?
Discuss Your Most Challenging / Difficult Professional Relationship
I Wish the Admissions Committee Had Asked Me
Commitment to Political Activism
Discuss Your Two Best Personal Attributes
Discuss a Situation in Which You Questioned Your Values or Beliefs
Team Building & Selection
Why Our School?
Addendum to Explain Job Loss / Getting Fired
Pick Three Guests for a Formal Dinner Party
What Would Surprise People About You?
Resume Submitted with Application
Addendum to Explain a Gap in Employment or Education
Addendum to Explain an Arrest / Criminal History
Personal Background
Best Mistake You Have Ever Made
Discuss How You Introduced or Managed Change
Role of Innovation in Management Models
Discuss an Improvement / Impact You Made in an Organization
What is your Greatest Talent?
Raised Overseas / Cross Cultural Experience
Definition of Success
Ideal Role Models
Three Most Valued Accomplishments
Introduction: The MBA School Admission Process
For most students, few processes are as daunting as the MBA admissions process. Competition is fierce at
top business schools, particularly in the prestigious Ivy League programs. Candidates must generally pass
two levels of screening to be offered a seat in the class:
1. The Numbers. Your GPA and GMAT scores must exceed the minimum cutoff level that the school has
imposed. Selectivity varies greatly among programs, which means that scores that are considered “great” at
one school may not be competitive at another. As a general rule, a successful candidate at a state school
has a minimum GPA of 3.2 to 3.5, and a minimum GMAT score of 600 to 650. At highly competitive
programs, the cutoffs are as high as 3.75 and 700 for the GPA and LSAT, respectively. Candidates whose
“numbers” fall below these levels can still gain admission in special circumstances, but their odds of success
are greatly diminished.
2. Personal Strengths. Candidates whose “numbers” meet the school’s expectations are further evaluated
for their personal fit for business school. In the pre-interview stage, this “fit” is assessed from the applicant’s
essays and reference letters. Without exception, these documents must highlight the skills and traits that
business schools covet, including honor, maturity, a solid work ethic and exemplary communication skills.
A great essay brings your “numbers” to life and provides a creative description of your performance and
potential. It also provides critical information about your personality, ethics and integrity that isn’t captured
anywhere elsewhere in the application. The BEST essays are short, specific and insightful. They are written
by candidates who know what they want and aren’t afraid to go after it.
Here is what the committee hopes to learn from your admission essays:
a. Your specific qualifications, including the depth of your academic and professional experiences
b. Your unique traits that aren’t covered anywhere else in the application
c. Your demonstrated commitment to pursuing an MBA
d. How you compare to other candidates with similar aspirations
How Personal Statements are Used in the Admissions Process
The most typical question we are asked about personal statements is how they are used in the admissions
process. As a general rule, they supplement the primary admissions criteria, which are your GPA and
GMAT score. In highly competitive programs, the applicant pool can quickly be sorted into three categories:
a. candidates with excellent grades and test scores: good chance of admission
b. candidates who are borderline cases: application is competitive, but not outstanding
c. candidates with low grades and disappointing test scores: poor chance of admission
Unfortunately, if you fall into category c, even a great personal statement may not save you from rejection.
In a highly competitive applicant pool, schools usually screen out lesser qualified applicants by imposing a
minimum “cutoff” for GPA and test scores. Although an essay can “explain” a disappointing academic
performance, it usually cannot compensate for it. There are limits to how much leeway we can give to a
candidate who does not present a solid track record of success.
In contrast, essays from candidates in category a are usually disaster checks. These applicants have
exceptional grades, test scores and impressive letters of recommendation. On paper, they are everything
we are looking for. Their personal statements must:
a. explain their motivation and goals
b. document their character, integrity and work ethic
For candidates in category a (excellent grades and test scores), bad or mediocre essays can be extremely
harmful. In a highly competitive applicant pool, each piece of the admissions puzzle (GPA, GMAT score,
essays, references) must “fit” together in a cohesive manner to show us who you are and what you have to
offer. If your essay is poorly written, or reveals a lack of focus and dedication, the committee will be less
likely to take a chance on you.
Surprisingly, nearly 70% of the applicant pool falls into category b, or borderline. These candidates have
competitive grades and test scores, but are otherwise not distinguishable from others with similar “numbers.
“ Their acceptance or rejection often hinges on an exceptional intrinsic quality that captures our interest and
makes a positive impression. In some cases, this can be their commitment to family, their dedication to
community service or their ability to overcome an obstacle. A persuasive essay that discusses a candidate’s
passion (and how (s)he plans to use that skill in the future) can make or break his/her application; it
provides the final piece of the “puzzle” that the committee needs to become excited about the applicant.
Writing Tips
In a typical day, an MBA admissions officer will read between 25 and 50 essay sets from candidates around
the world. What makes a positive impression? Passion. Sincerity. Insight about yourself and the world
around you.
From our experience, a great essay can take any number of forms; since no two candidates are alike, their
personal statements won’t be, either. The only “magic formula” is honesty; you must have the courage to
reveal your true personality, whatever that may be. Show us who you are and what you will bring to our
program. Show us the contribution that only you can make.
We surveyed thirty admission officers on what they expect to see in business school essays. Here’s what
works:
1. Answer the question that was asked. Many candidates try to dodge tough questions, particularly those
about ethical issues, personal weaknesses and failure. Yet the committee asks these questions for a reason.
We want to understand how you respond to adversity and the specific insights you developed from those
experiences. Answer the tough questions honestly and directly. Don’t try to sell us the artificial “canned”
response you think we want to hear.
2. Write naturally, but concisely. Use simple sentence structure and your normal everyday vocabulary.
Don’t waste time on fancy introductions; get to the point quickly and reinforce it with specific examples.
3. Use excellent grammar and punctuation. Use logical paragraph breaks to separate your thoughts and
to make the essay easier to read. Proofread your work carefully before sending it in. Don’t let simple
carelessness ruin your chances.
4. Show your real personality (let us get to know you). Too many essays are long, boring theoretical
pieces about politics, the economy or complex business issues. No matter how well-written or researched,
they don’t tell us a darn thing about the candidate. Anyone can write a rational, detached paper, but that’s
not what we are looking for. We want to get to know you and the unique contribution you will make to our
school.
5. Personalize your essay as much as possible. Write about your own unique, funny, interesting
experiences. Provide details to add color. Adopt a relaxed, conversational style.
6. Use humor only if it works. Few people can write humorous prose or recount funny experiences
effectively. If you have this gift, by all means use it. Before sending us a “funny” essay, though, have several
different people read your material to make sure it comes across well on paper. Avoid anything off-color or
mean-spirited.
7. Convey a positive message (avoid cynicism). Many applicants choose to discuss a misfortune they
have experienced and how it shaped their personality. Be very careful of your tone if you decide to write
about a hard-luck story. Avoid the “victimization” perspective and focus on how you overcame the situation.
Show us how the experience helped you to demonstrate your stamina, perseverance and intelligence. If
written well, these essays show us that you can succeed in the face of terrible obstacles. If written badly, you
may sound plaintive, self-righteous and bitter.
8. Use the active voice. Nothing is more tedious than trying to read an essay written in the cold, detached
passive voice. While popular with scientists who publish in technical journals, it is pretentious and verbose in
everyday writing. Keep your verbs simple and active. What’s the difference?
Active Voice: The cow jumped over the moon.
Passive Voice: The moon was jumped over by the cow.
Yes, it sounds that silly when you use it, too!
9. Explain events whenever appropriate. Many of your accomplishments are of interest to the committee
because of why you tackled them, what you thought about them and what you learned. Tell us the reasoning
behind your decision and how your life changed as a result of the experience.
10. Be specific and focused. Rather than listing several items or events, give a full description of just one.
The more details you include, the more personal your essay will be.
11. Proofread several times and get feedback from valued sources. Explain to them what you hope to
convey in your writing and ask whether you met your objectives. The true test of your writing isn’t what you
intended to say, but what the reader actually understands.
12. Revise and polish until it is perfect. Give yourself enough time to do the statement well. Successful
applicants usually invest several hours deciding the correct approach, constructing an outline and writing a
first draft. You may have to write and revise multiple drafts before you are satisfied with your essay.
Common Pitfalls to Avoid
1. Don’t let anyone else tell you what to write. Well-meaning parents and advisors often interfere in the
writing process, which tends to sabotage the candidate’s chances. Use your own best judgment in choosing
a topic and writing your essay. Don’t let anyone else influence you. We read thousands of essays each year,
and have developed a keen eye for authenticity.
2. Don’t oversell yourself or try too hard. Many candidates manage to squeeze every accomplishment
they’ve ever had into a single one-page essay. Others explain emphatically how much they “really, really”
want to attend our school. Don’t take such a desperate approach; just be yourself.
3. Don’t rehash information that can be found elsewhere in the application. We already know your
GPA, GMAT scores, academic awards and honors. Use your limited essay space to discuss experiences
that aren’t revealed anywhere else. Consider your essay to be an informal interview, your exclusive “one-on-
one” time with the committee. Show us why we should accept you into our academic community.
4. Don’t write a scholarly or technical paper. The essay is your opportunity to demonstrate your non-
academic strengths, particularly your personality. Don’t waste the opportunity to let us get to know the real
you.
5. Resist the urge to write a manipulative or argumentative essay on a controversial issue. Be
original. Each year, we receive hundreds of essays that discuss the horrors of nuclear proliferation and the
dangers of global warming. Sadly, they don’t tell us anything we don’t already know. If you choose to discuss
a meaningful issue, do so in the context of your demonstrated commitment to change it, either through your
career or volunteer work. Don’t confuse passive idealism (or future intentions) with productive action. A
demonstrated commitment to a cause is worth writing about; passive idealism is not.
6. Don’t try to explain blemishes on your record. With rare exceptions, it is impossible to explain poor
grades and test scores without sounding irresponsible or defensive. Neither will enhance your admissions
chances. If you have a compelling excuse for an academic disappointment, place it in a separate addendum
to your file, rather than in the body of an essay or personal statement.
7. Don’t use large, pretentious words. Use the simplest possible language to explain your meaning
precisely. Using three-dollar words to impress the committee usually backfires, as it comes across as
presumptuous and arrogant.
8. Don’t be boring and safe; tell a real story! A fresh and well-written essay will enhance your credentials
and aid your application effort.
9. Don’t lie or exaggerate. Applicants seldom realize how easy it is to detect lies and half-truths in
admissions essays. Don’t pretend to be someone you are not. After reading your file, committee members
have an excellent “feel” for your character and can tell when a reported event or achievement isn’t consistent
with the rest of your history. Lying is a fatal mistake. A single misrepresentation on your application will lead
us to doubt all of your other assertions.
10. Don’t be gimmicky. Avoid using definitions to begin your essay. This crutch was extremely popular in
the late 90’s, but is now synonymous with sloppy writing. Avoid using cute or “meaningful” quotations, unless
they perfectly fit the character and tone of your essay. Quotations are terrific if they are seldom-quoted and
deeply relevant to your chosen topic. All too often, though, their usage is cliche and the resulting essay is
unimaginative.
11. Don’t play games with the word limit. Don’t use a miniscule type size or invisible border to shrink an
essay to the stipulated length. Except in extreme circumstances, your finished essay should adhere to the
maximum word limit. In many cases, less is more. Convey your points quickly and efficiently; don’t feel
obligated to “fill” extra space.
Strengths to Highlight
Your essays MUST emphasize the intrinsic traits that the committee seeks in the admissions process. Due
to the high ethical standards and level of critical thinking that are expected in global business, your character
and motivation will be highly scrutinized by the selection committee. Use the essay set to sell your whole
self, not just the individual pieces that you think the school wants to see.
