Running head: 4MAT BOOK REVIEW 1
4MAT Book Review: Parrott and Parrott
The Complete Guide to Marriage and Mentoring
Trina Tindal Allen
Liberty University
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Summary
This 4MAT Book Review is on The Complete Guide to Marriage Mentoring, written by
Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott (2005), and published by Zondervan located in Grand Rapids, MI.
Les and Leslie Parrott are doing exactly what they feel God has called them to do: marriage
mentoring. They call it ‘the boomerang effect’. They have totally emerged themselves in helping
churches to set up and maintain marriage mentoring programs. This book is an idea that was
birthed from many years of work in this field. One might consider them to be pioneers of
marriage mentoring.
The goal of this work is to serve as a practical guide for those who wish to act as
marriage mentors or coaches and restore marriage to how God intended them to be. The book
will aid mentors in rescuing and supporting couples at whatever critical stage they are in;
whether anticipating marriage, newlyweds, new parents, disconnected couples or anyone that
wants to strengthen their marriage. Moving on, there are three main parts in the book: (i) The Big
Picture on Marriage and Mentoring; (ii) The Marriage Mentoring Triad and; (iii) The Essential
Skills for Marriage Mentoring.
The Big Picture on Marriage and Mentoring
This first section of the book is geared toward providing the mentor with definitions and
an overall view of the characteristics needed to be not just a great mentor, but a great marriage
mentor. The basic characteristics of that one must possess if they desire to be a mentor include
empathy, warmth and genuiness. On the other side of the coin, Parrott and Parrott assert that the
mentors would want to avoid trying to solve a problem too quickly, being impatient, fear of
silence, not being able to set personal limits, moralizing and interrogating the couple. In
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reference to “the boomerang effect”, probably the greatest contribution a mentor can make is to
share ones own story and in turn receive so much richness in return.
The Marriage Mentoring Triad
Part two of the book is quite small and pretty self explanatory. It is illustrated on the face
of the section as a triangle. The base of the triangle is for preparing and repairing. Preparing is
for mentoring couples who are engaged or just married. Repairing is for mentoring couples who
are in distress. Finally, the top of the triangle is for maximizing. Maximizing is for couples who
want to deepen and enrich an already stble marriage.
The Essential Skills for Marriage Mentoring
