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4: Writing Business Messages
4-1
CHAPTER 4: Writing Business Messages
CHAPTER SUMMARY
This chapter addresses writing business messages, the second step of the three-step writing
process. In addition, to help writers adapt messages to their audience, the chapter discusses and
gives examples of writing techniques, such as using the “you” attitude, maintaining standards of
etiquette, emphasizing the positive, and using bias-free language. Building a strong relationship
with an audience is also addressed, including instruction in establishing credibility and projecting
the company’s image. Effective composition techniques are addressed, including using a
conversational tone, using plain English, selecting active or passive voice, choosing strong
words, creating effective sentences, and crafting coherent paragraphs. The chapter closes with
information about using technology to compose and shape messages.
CHAPTER OUTLINE
Adapting to Your Audience: Being Sensitive to Your Audience’s Needs
Adopting the “You” Attitude
Maintaining Standards of Etiquette
Emphasizing the Positive
Using Bias-Free Language
Adapting to Your Audience: Building Strong Relationships
Establishing Your Credibility
Projecting Your Company’s Image
Adapting to Your Audience: Controlling Your Style and Tone
Creating a Conversational Tone
Using Plain Language
Selecting Active or Passive Voice
Composing Your Message: Choosing Powerful Words
Balancing Abstract and Concrete Words
Finding Words that Communicate Well
Composing Your Message: Creating Effective Sentences
Choosing from the Four Types of Sentences
Using Sentence Style to Emphasize Key Thoughts
Composing Your Message: Crafting Coherent Paragraphs
Creating the Elements of a Paragraph
Topic Sentence
Support Sentences
Transitions
Developing Paragraphs
Writing Messages for Mobile Devices
The Future of Communication: Machine Learning
What’s Your Prediction?
Chapter Review and Activities
4: Writing Business Messages
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TEACHING NOTES
Adapting to Your Audience: Being Sensitive to Your Audience’s Needs
In any communication situation, audiences are more likely to notice, pay attention to, and
respond to messages that promise to address their concerns.
To demonstrate true audience sensitivity, adopt the “you” attitude, maintain good standards of
etiquette, emphasize the positive, and use bias-free language.
Effective communicators adopt the “you” attitude—speaking and writing in terms of your
audience’s wishes, interests, hopes, and preferences. One way to use the “you” attitude is to
replace words such as I, me, mine, we, us, and ours with words such as you and yours.
Written communication and most forms of electronic media generally require more tact than oral
communication since nonverbal communication softens the message.
Emphasizing the Positive:
• Never try to hide negative news, but look for positive points that will foster a good
relationship with your audience.
• Point out how particular actions will benefit your audience.
• Try to state your message without using words that might offend your audience and use
euphemisms rather than words with unpleasant connotations.
Using Bias-Free Language:
• Avoid using words and phrases that unfairly and even unethically categorize or
stigmatize people in ways related to gender, race, ethnicity, age, or disability.
• Gender bias: avoid by using the same label for everyone; in business, refer to women as
Ms. unless invited to do otherwise.
• Racial and ethnic bias: avoid identifying people by race or ethnic origin unless such
4: Writing Business Messages
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Adapting to Your Audience: Building Strong Relationships
To build strong relationships with your audience, establish your credibility and project the
company’s image.
Establish your credibility by emphasizing the following:
• Honesty
• Objectivity
Project your company’s image by following these steps:
• Subordinate your own views and personality, at least to some extent, to the interests and
style of your company.
Adapting to Your Audience: Controlling Your Style and Tone
Vary your style (i.e., the way you use words to achieve a certain tone or the overall feel of your
writing) to match the nature of your message and your relationship with the reader.
You can create a conversational tone by following these guidelines:
• Understand the difference between texting and writing.
• Avoid obsolete and pompous language—use phrases you would use when talking face-
to-face.
Use plain language—a way of presenting information in a simple, unadorned style so that your
audience can easily grasp your meaning. Using plain English can make companies more
productive because people spend less time trying to figure out messages that are confusing.
Selecting active or passive voice:
• Use active voice in general (i.e., when the subject performs the action and the object
receives the action), as it is usually easier for the reader to figure out who performed an
action.
4: Writing Business Messages
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Composing Your Message: Choosing Powerful Words
As you compose your first draft, let your creativity flow. Don’t try to draft and edit at the same
time or try to make everything perfect. Realize that you’ll revise and edit later.
As you create and refine your messages, learn to view your writing at three levels:
Follow these steps when choosing powerful words:
• Pay attention to grammatical correctness.
• Select the most suitable word.
When trying to find words that communicate well, do the following:
• Choose strong, precise words.
To create an effective sentence, begin by selecting the optimum type of sentence, and then
arrange words to emphasize the most important point in each sentence.
Composing Your Message: Creating Effective Sentences
There are four basic varieties of sentences:
• Simple sentences: one main clause (a single subject and a single predicate).
• Compound sentences: two main clauses that express two or more independent but related
thoughts of equal importance).
Emphasize key ideas through your sentence style:
• Include full descriptions of important people and events.
• Add a separate, short sentence to augment the first sentence.
Composing Your Message: Crafting Coherent Paragraphs
Develop unified and coherent (logically connected) paragraphs by ensuring that all the sentences
in the paragraph pertain to a single thought.
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• Include a topic sentence.
• Provide support sentences that develop the topic.
• Provide transitions.
Transitions tie ideas together and show how one thought is related to another. These transitions
are useful and effective:
• Use connecting words.
Other common types of transitions include:
• Additional detail
• Cause-and-effect relationship
• Comparison
• Contrast
• Condition
The best way to achieve coherence and unity is to use paragraph structures that are familiar to
your readers, appropriate to the ideas you’re trying to portray, and united to your purpose. Five
of the most common paragraph development techniques include the following:
• Illustration
• Comparison or contrast
Writing Messages for Mobile Devices
It’s important to modify your approach when writing for mobile devices since reading is more
difficult on small screens and, consequently, users’ ability to comprehend is lower. Five
techniques can make your mobile messages more effective:
• Use linear organization so readers don’t need to zoom or pan to get the big picture.
• Prioritize information, using the inverted pyramid style in which you reveal the most
important information briefly at first and then provide successive layers of detail.
• Write shorter and more focused messages and documents, which could mean writing two
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rests as they move through a document.
The Future of Communication: Machine Learning
Machine learning is the capability of intelligent systems to learn on their own, without being fed
explicit instructions. For example, a machine-learning algorithm called RankBrain is now one of
the core technologies in Google’s search engine. The ability to “read” and understand textual
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OVERCOMING DIFFICULTIES STUDENTS OFTEN FACE
Although students have just completed Chapter 3 (Planning Business Messages), they may not
be able to apply the steps in the planning stage consistently. Consider projecting or posting the
three-step process where students can see it throughout the class. Such a visual message serves as
a constant reminder that all three steps are necessary to achieve an effective message.
Encourage students to be polite by including words such as please and thank you where
appropriate. Remind them of how they personally react when someone treats them with courtesy.
Some students may find it difficult to avoid biased language, especially related to gender.
Provide numerous examples of ways to handle sexist language so that students won’t fill their
messages with excessive use of he/she or him/her. The simplest way to deal with this is to have
multiple, rather than individual, subjects (for example, “Good workers realize they must arrive at
work on time” instead of “A good worker realizes that he or she must arrive at work on time.”).
Because of their limited business experience, students may not appreciate that they must project
a positive company image. Emphasize that readers and listeners perceive them as spokespeople
for their company. You could also link this topic to an earlier discussion of posting information
on social networking websites.
Although students often have limited business experience, it is surprising what old-fashioned,
obsolete language they manage to include in their early written messages.
Review the list of obsolete terms in the text and encourage students to contribute others during
class discussion.
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Students tend to rely too heavily on abstract words. Emphasize that you want them to use
concrete words, and explain the benefits of doing so. Clarify that case solutions require some
assumptions. Students need to provide actual amounts, dates, product numbers, and so forth.
For some students, dividing their messages into effective paragraphs will be a challenge. Watch
for students who write an entire 250-word memo in one paragraph. As a drill, provide students
with a document that is all one paragraph and ask them to divide the message into effective
paragraphs.
SUGGESTED CLASSROOM EXERCISES
1. Application Exercises. This chapter lends itself to many short exercises that require rewriting
individual sentences. Students typically remain enthusiastic about working through them
2. Using the “You” Attitude. Share some sample letters that do and do not contain the “you”
3. Projecting the Company Image. Lead a discussion of how quickly customer goodwill can be
lost. Incorporate examples, such as a sales associate communicating with a customer about a
4. Illustrating Before and After. Describe a communication situation (for example, an argument
between romantic partners over doing the dishes). Provide both a poor solution and a good
Copyright © 2019 Pearson Education, Inc.
5. Folder of Horror. Ask students to bring in unprofessional samples of correspondence
6. Controlling Style and Tone. Provide students with numerous opportunities to rewrite
7. Selecting the Best Words. Assign items 4-18 through 4-47 in the Practice Your Skills section
at the end of the chapter. These exercises address emphasizing the positive; making
8. Creating Effective Sentences. Provide a list of sentences. Ask students to identify each type
of sentence and punctuate it correctly. Project solutions as you review them.
9. Writing Effective Paragraphs. Ask students to rework entire paragraphs that are ineffectively
organized. If computers are available, have students rewrite at the keyboard. Tie in a
10. Self-Assessment. Ask students to write a memo describing the most difficult part of the
writing process for them, and why it is so difficult. Give them the following categories from
TEST YOUR KNOWLEDGE
4-1. Answers to starred discussion items not provided
Using passive voice can be helpful when you want to be diplomatic about pointing out a
4-2. An abstract word expresses a concept, quality, or characteristic (such as love or progress)
and is generally broad. A concrete word stands for something tangible, something that can
Copyright © 2019 Pearson Education, Inc.
4-3. Use sentence style to emphasize key ideas by doing the following: you can place the key
4-4. Transitions connect ideas by showing how one thought is related to another; they help alert
4-5. Reading is more difficult on small screens, and consequently users’ ability to comprehend
APPLY YOUR KNOWLEDGE
4-8. Using plain language does not make you come across as less of an expert. A professional
communicator knows that audiences can understand and act on plain language without
4-9. Answers to starred discussion items not provided.
4-10. Reading is more difficult on small screens, so users’ comprehension is lower when reading
on small screens than on large screens. To write effectively for mobile devices, writers are
advised to organize information in a linear fashion, put the most important information first,
PRACTICE YOUR SKILLS
Exercises for Perfecting Your Writing
The “You” Attitude. These revisions reflect the audience’s viewpoint:
4-11. For your convenience, please use the order form supplied at the back of our catalog. (LO
4-12. So that you can be served quickly, please bring your credit card to the store with you. (LO
Copyright © 2019 Pearson Education, Inc.
4-14. Enclosed is the $25 refund you requested. (LO 4.1; AACSB Tag: Written and oral
4-15. So that your credit rating can be preserved, please remit your payment within 10 days. (LO
4-16. We offer refunds for merchandise that is returned in like-new condition. (LO 4.1; AACSB
Tag: Written and oral communication)
4-17. The damage to your waterbed was caused by unusual conditions not covered by the
4-21. Jim Riley is unsuited for that kind of promotion. (LO 4.1; AACSB Tag: Written and oral
4-22. We understand that your check was mailed last Thursday; however, our offices have not
4.1; AACSB Tag: Written and oral communication)
4-25. Thank you for mailing your new will to our offices; so that we may be sure to follow your
4: Writing Business Messages
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personal reference is really important, it is more polite to eliminate it:
4-36. surged (LO 4.4; AACSB Tag: Written and oral communication)
4-39. It’s difficult to survive the pressures of working in the business world. (LO 4.4; AACSB
4: Writing Business Messages
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4-44. changes (LO 4.4; AACSB Tag: Written and oral communication)
4.5; AACSB Tag: Written and oral communication)
Message Organization: Transitions. Students can improve these three paragraphs in a variety of
4-52. Facing some of the toughest competitors in the world, Harley-Davidson had to make some
changes. First, the company introduced new products. Then Harley’s management team set
4-53. Whether you’re indulging in a doughnut in New York or California, Krispy Kreme wants
you to enjoy the same delicious taste with every bite, so the company maintains consistent
product quality by carefully controlling every step of the production process. First, it tests
4: Writing Business Messages
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Activities
4-54. Answers will vary based on the experts that students select. The first tweet should give a
general sense of the expert, summarizing his or her background. The three follow-up
4-55. Students should note that this message lacks professionalism. It is too informal and uses
the “I” attitude rather than the “you” attitude. The writer appears to be overconfident.
Here’s a revision:
Our e-tailing site, www.BestBabyGear.com, provides carefully selected, high-quality
products designed for newborns, infants, and toddlers. With their high quality and
4-56. According to the SEC definition, plain English documents use words economically and at
a level the audience can understand. A document written in plain English presents
4-57. Whatever ideas students select, their summary should reflect an understanding of what it
means to craft a coherent paragraph. The topic sentence should deal with a single topic.
4-58. Urge students to analyze what is wrong with this email before they begin their revisions.
Remind them of the four main rules of good organization:
4: Writing Business Messages
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IMPROVE YOUR GRAMMAR, MECHANICS, AND USAGE
Level 1: Self-Assessment—Adjectives
4-61. most perfect (AACSB Tag: Written and oral communication)
4-63. better (AACSB Tag: Written and oral communication)
4-65. A highly placed source revealed Dotson’s last-ditch efforts to cover up the mistake.
(AACSB Tag: Written and oral communication)
4-67. A top-secret document was taken from the president’s office last night. (AACSB Tag:
Written and oral communication)
4-69. If I write a large-scale report, I want to know that upper-level management will read it.
(AACSB Tag: Written and oral communication)
4-71. A tiny metal shaving is responsible for the problem. (AACSB Tag: Written and oral
communication)
4-73. A chipped, cracked sheet of glass is useless to us. (AACSB Tag: Written and oral
communication)
Level 2: Workplace Applications
4-76. Easy, flexible wireless calling plans start for as little as $19 a month. (AACSB Tag:
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Level 3: Document Critique—Well-Written Solution
Here is a possible revision of the message:
Your new card for your Health Savings Account (HSA) is attached to this memo. This email
includes instructions for activating and using your card. We know you will enjoy using these
prepaid cards since they make accessing your health care fast, easy, and automatic. For your
convenience, we have included separate cards for each person included in your HSA.
To begin taking advantage of your HSA, please follow these steps:
1. Go to the website listed on the sticker on the front of your card.
3. Sign the back of the card and have any others included on your account sign the cards as
well.
You may begin using your card immediately after you’ve activated it. You and your dependents
can use your cards for qualified medical expenses, including:
• Prescriptions
• Dental care
This card will undoubtedly improve your health plan experiences; to take full advantage of this
card, it is important for you to review your health plan to make sure that you understand fully the
types of qualified expenses covered by the card. To ensure that you receive a tax deduction for
expenses not covered by your health plan, be sure to save all your receipts.
